The 'nerd' is dangerous

Gravestone

Anna's POV:
It has been four years today. Four years since Colton was fatally shot and died in my arms. 

I have passed the leadership of the LA to Nick as I had to look after my son Drew.

Drew is my beautiful baby boy. I had him five months after Colton died. Drew's full name is Andrew Colton Grimm-Hughes.

Every year on the anniversary of Colton's death I go and place flowers on his grave. I mostly go on my own but last year I took Drew.

Other news is that I graduated with high grades in every subject. No one else found out about me being "Annabelle Grimm" and I got a job as an English teacher at my old school.

I live in Colton's old house which was passed to me after he died. I live there with Drew and sometimes Ella who visits on most weekends. I love seeing my family with only one person missing.

Colton James Hughes.

I miss Colton everyday and think about how different life would be if he lived. He could help look after Drew. We would be together and probably lead LA together. The gang not the city.

Drew knows how Colton died without knowing about the gang and sometimes asks about him. It was so hard to explain that he would never see his Dad. I said he has gone to heaven and we'd meet him one day.

Drew is in school and is doing well and is very nice to everyone. He is very adventurous and outgoing. He loves sports and looks just like Colton. He only has my nose. He looks so much like Colton; especially his eyes.

Sometimes when I look at Drew all I see is Colton. All the time we spend together and all the crazy things we did.

•   •   •   •   •   •

I left work and picked up some white roses from a florist before picking up Drew from school and took him to see 'Colton' while he explained his very busy day at school.

I love hearing about Drew's day. It makes me realise what makes me get up in the morning. Andy. Not anyone else; Andrew. Okay maybe the fact that Colton would've wanted me to carry on living to the fullest but I have to move on for Drew.

I helped him out if his car seat and held his hand as we went to Colton's grave. I began to tear up as we walked closer and Andy hugged my legs. I picked him and and he buried his face in my neck.

"Don't cry Mummy," he whispered and I sniffed, nodding slightly.

We got to Colton's grave where his headstone said:

Colton James Hughes
Son, boyfriend and father
He will be sorely missed by many
1998-2016

I placed both Andy and the flowered down and sat crossed legged on the grass.

"Hey Colton, I'm here with Drew." I start shakily.

"Hey Daddy." Andy interrupted loudly and smiling.

I laughed a little.

"Um... I miss you. We both do. Everyone does. You shouldn't have died that night. W-we should've g-gotten out together. I'm so... sorry C-Colton. I-I l-love y-you." I sob as Andy crawls onto my lap and I hug him tightly.

"I played with Missy today at school. She's really nice." Andrew starts to tell 'Colton' about his day at school.

He continued to talk to Colton's gravestone about his day, who he played with at school and what lessons he had, for the most part he gushed about Missy. After he fell asleep in my lap and I had finished crying. I stood up and wiped the dirt off me before sniffing once again to see a man standing to my left, his figure distorted and foggy.

"Anna?" The man asks in his unforgettable voice.

I instantly knew who it was. I stumbled back, shaking my head.

It couldn't be him! How could it be him? He's dead, I'm hallucinating from lack of sleep or something, yeah, that's it. I'm hallucinating. Nothing more.

I look directly at the beautiful face of my dead boyfriend, his eyes were no longer lifeless and held immeasurable concern and pain as he stared back at me. His hair hadn't changed from its usual semi-messy state, apart from the fact it wasn't covered in blood. He was in casual yet mobile clothing as if he had to be able to run away and blend in with a second's notice. His voice was familiar and warm; as if he had just returned from school like he would 4 years ago, the soft tone embraced me like a warm blanket in the winter, it made me want to run into his arms and never let go. The only real difference between the Colton before me and the one I lost four years ago was that my Colton was dead. He couldn't really be back, it's not possible.

"C-c-Colton? N-no... You died. You d-died in my a-arms." I splutter out.

"It's me. Colton." He spoke.

He paused.

"I need you to wake up. I miss you, we all do. We're all waiting for you to wake up. The doctors said it will take time and I know that but- It's been days Anna. I know you'll make it, you have to. I know you can, you're the strongest person I know. Please wake up. I need you, I love you Belle."

I looked at the Colton in front of me, a real hallucination, a mental fantasy? He's not real. This reality isn't real. This me isn't real. Andrew isn't real. My baby isn't real. How could I ever accept that.

I looked down at the child in my arms. The son I carried for nine months, who I gave life to; who I cared for and protected with everything I had for four years without his father, the son I loved with all my heart. His glistening eyes, his nest of hair when he wakes up, his contagious laugh which never fails to put a smile on my face, the way his nose wrinkles just before he sneezes and the way his eyes squint as he laughs. How could I ever leave him? The very thought made my stomach churn aggressively.

How can he not be real?