What If? |SDMN FF|

.Harry.

.Anxiety.

A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.

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Harry's POV

I pushed the door of my wreck of a home. Myself and Josh just got back from playing a little game of football. The smell of smoke entered my nostrils, making me feel on edge. I walked into the house, a scatter of cigarette buds in the astray, the floor, the sofa. It makes me feel sick looking at it, or it could be because of all the toxins in the air.

Scattered bags and containers of drugs with names I don't remember. I heard a smash in the kitchen and I rolled my eyes. I get anxious when my dad is in this state, but I'm the oldest out of Josh and Rosie, I have to protect both of them, even though I have an uneasy feeling when this happens. 

"Josh, go upstairs and lock your door." I told him. "Harry, I want to say with you. Who knows if you might have a panic attack whilst dealing with Dad." Josh told me and I let out a shaky sigh. "Okay, but stay behind me." I told him and he nodded. We carefully made our way to the kitchen, our dad grabbing a beer out of the fridge. This is going to be great. 

"D-Dad?" I stuttered. He looked at me. "Ah, my disappointment of a son. And my other son who is soon to follow in my footsteps." He continued. "I'll never follow in your footsteps." Josh shouted boldly, which made our Dad laugh. "You will soon." He said slyly. "Your sisters done it, why can't you two be like here?" He questioned, downing the bottle of beer.

"R-Rosie i-is doing d-drugs and s-smoking t-too?" I questioned, my chest feeling tight. She can't be, she's too young to do this. She shouldn't be doing this. I heard the front door slam. "DAD I NEED MORE OF THE DR--- Oh hi Harry and Josh." Rosie shouted, but then lowered her voice once she saw me and Josh in the kitchen.

"Y-You're doing d-drugs Rosie. H-How c-could you?" I question, stuttering. She crossed her arms, "Oh come on Harry, I want to live. Not be some goody two shoes who waste there life staying inside. I want to live my life." I shook my head. "Doing drugs isn't the answer though." Josh added. Rosie scoffed. 

"Doing drugs is the best decision I have ever made. If you do like it, tough shit." Rosie spat. "You disgust me!" Josh shouted, making me flinch. Our dad scoffed at Josh's remark. "What?" Dad question, laughing slightly, "At least she has the decency to make me proud, not like you or the rack of bones beside you?" Dad shouted, pointing at me when he said 'rack of bones'. I looked down and felt my heart race and my hands shake. I need to stay calm, I need to stay strong.

For Josh.

"You think I'd want to be like this? If anything, it haunts me having a fucking boring life." Rosie spat, making my heart rapidly beat faster than before. "Shut up!" I say, looking at her, her facial features looking dull and prominent. She laughed. "And what Harry? You'll get nervous? Have a panic attack?" She joked, laughing afterwards. I looked down again and shook my head.

"I can't believe you two!" Josh shouted, making me jump slightly. I looked at Dad, beer in one hand, a cigarette in the other. His facial features have become prominent too. His cheek bones were sharp, his cheeks caved in so much that you could nearly see the outline of his teeth. Rosie's cheeks were sharp and her cheeks were caved in too. 

Thanks to dad and his drugs. He has damaged himself and his daughter. How could he do that to his own daughter, his own child? I'm happy Mum left Dad once she found out about the drugs. If only she took myself, Josh and Rosie, before she started injecting herself with harmful drugs.

She looks like something from my nightmares. No joke. She has changed so much and she rely on some stupid drug to make her 'live'. It's just one step towards death. How can she not see that she is harming herself, that she is going to be on the brink of death anytime soon.

"You are seriously pathetic, you know that?" Rosie questioned, directly saying it to me. "You are 19 years old for crying out loud. And you haven't done any drugs, drank, smoked or even had sex. I've done all them and I'm fucking younger than you. That's how fucking pathetic you are." Rosie spat, crossing her arms.

"Well Harry isn't as stupid as you Rosie. At least he is responsible, unlike you. Harry is who I want to be, responsible, loyal----"

"A disappointment to the family?" Dad said, interrupting Josh's sentence. "Your brother is a fucking disappointment, and so are you." Dad spat, his voice raising slightly. He took a swig of his beer and inhaled the smoke from his cigarette.

"Do NOT talk to Josh like that. You are a fucking drunk that's addicted to smoking and injecting drugs into your system. You are killing yourself and Rosie. Why can't you be a good dad and look after us well?" I spat, letting out a shaky breath, my hands shaking vigourously.

"I'm a perfectly fine father. I'd be even better if I didn't have a son that cries over everything and shakes for no apart reason and has to take pills to 'help' you. You are close to becoming me by taking those pills!" Dad spat. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed. I looked around and grabbed the closest object to me.

A Knife...

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" I screamed, pointing the knife at Rosie then Dad. Rosie moved closer to Dad, his eyes widened with shock.

"Harry.." Dad said.

"JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP PLEASE!" I screamed. Tears were cascading down my face. I looked at the two through blurred vision. "Call the police.." I heard my Dad whisper. "IF YOU CALL THE POLICE THEY WILL SEE ALL THE ILLEGAL DRUGS EVERYWHERE." I shouted. 

O - "999, What's your emergency?" 

R - "My brother has gone crazy and is threatening us with a knife."

H - "My father and sister have been taking illegal drugs and they are everywhere in the house!" 

R - "Come quick!"

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Sup people of the interwebs,

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, if you have please vote and comment if you'd like. I want to say thanks to Sammie as she helped me with an idea for this. Hope you guys have a great end of 2016 and a great beginning to 2017!And I'll see you soon!

PoJayneBartaby x