Phan One-Shots (boyxboy)

41. Awkward

Phil was getting married.

Not to me, which was unfortunate in my mind, not that I would ever tell him.

She was a nice girl named Janice. She worked in the coffee shop across the street from our flat. She had brown hair and blue eyes and was rather attractive, but I didn't think she was the best.

I didn't think too much of her at first, Phil had just started talking to her one day when he noticed her outside of the shop. They seemed to click well.

She started coming over more. I didn't want to disturb them so I would stay in my room.

And then Janice started to sleep over. It wasn't a surprise, they were dating after all. But it made me jealous, seeing that the guy who I had loved and lived with for over 5 years had just turned his back on me and started dating someone.

The worst part was the way his bed creaked.

Ugh, it still makes me shudder. Every movement of theirs, every moan and groan and creak.

Bother.

But, here I was now, standing at the alter next to Phil. He looked over at me, giving me an awkward smile.

I couldn't believe it when Phil proposed to Jan. It was kind of bizzare.

Throughout all this time, there was one thing I always noticed. Janice was happy, a smiling, colourful klutz who was absolutely perfect for Phil. Yet, Phil always seemed awkward. Like he didn't want to be there.

He enjoyed his time more with me than her, I could tell. That's why I was so shocked when Phil proposed to Janice in the middle of the pavement one day.

I gave Phil a soft smile, patting his shoulder.

Soon enough, Janice had walked down the aisle, the two exchanged vows and the ceremony was over.

I wasn't necessarily excited for the celebration part, but when everyone say down at the long table to do speeches, I realized I had drunk a little too much.

I was a little over tipsy, wobbling with every step and not able to comprehend exactly what I was saying until after I had said it.

It was my turn to do a speech. I thought all the way to the back of my mind where I had memorized my original speech. But now that I was intoxicated, everything seemed all fuzzy.

So I did it on the fly.

"I have known Phil for a very long time." I started, trying to regain my composure. "And he is an amazing guy, I must say." I smiled down at Phil, Phil smiling back. It wasn't one of the fake ones he would give Janice, it was a real one. The one he had never shown Janice.

My jealousy flooded back to me again, yet I continued. When I couldn't think of anything else that would sound good, I excused myself as I downed the rest of my glass of wine.

It didn't help, obviously. I smiled out to the people in front of me, trying to say some more nice things. I wasn't in control of what I was saying anymore and ot all just started blurting out.

And then, the one secret that I had been keeping hidden for so long, had managed to escape.

"I-I know I've mentioned this already, but Phil is the best man I have ever met. And I must admit, for the longest of times I have had a crush on him because I know things about him no one else does, I've seen every part of him he would never show anyone else. And I can't get him out of my head most days so I just needed to mention that." It took me a few seconds, looking over everyone's shocked looking faces. It then hit me. I had just spilled.

My eyes widened as well, feeling someone tug on my coat. I followed without knowing who it was or where we were going. I felt the cool breeze hit my face and I knew we were outside.

Phil turned me around, looking me dead in the eye.

"What was that for?" Phil asked softly. It wasn't an angry tone, just a questioning one.

"I-" I started. I swallowed the lump in my throat, I felt like I might cry. "I don't know. It just happened. I guess I drank too much and-"

Two arms wrapped around me, pulling me into a tight embrace.

"Can I tell you something?" Phil asked softly.

I nodded into his shoulder.

"I didn't want to go through with it. I didn't even like her all that much. Janice is nice, and pretty, of course. But my heart wasn't set on her. And I never knew where it was. I just thought, if I propose and she says yes then I won't have much choice. But if she says no then I could at least find out where I really am these days." He pulled away from the hug, gazing at me.

"I may be a newlywed man but... I don't want to marry her." He smiled.

"T-then w-who do you want to m-marry?" I stuttered.

"I think he's right in front of me." Phil said.

/to be continued because idk how to end things properly/