All I Want Is You

Dealing With Emotions

Taylor

Talk about déjà vu here I was again for the second time in my life waking up feeling like shit, at least this time I was in my own bed, the curtains were drawn, though daylight crept in around the sides and bottom and two women were sat whispering to each other.

As my eyes became focused I realised one was my mother and the other was Doctor Talbot.

"Mum?" I managed to choke out, causing both heads to turn and face me, before my mother flew across the room and hugged me.

"Oh Taylor, thank God you worried me so much"

As I hugged my mother back feeling emotional myself, a shadow crossed over my face and as I looked up I saw a smiling Doctor Talbot, who addressed me in a very professional manner.

"Hi Taylor, glad you're back with us, I take it you had a memory rush or trigger point?"

I nodded still hugging my mother, I saw Doctor Talbot flick her eyes to my mother indicating she wanted to speak to me alone, I gave a small nod and pulled back from the hug.

"I fine now mother thank you, but I do need to speak to Doctor Talbot about a few things"

My mother got the message and brushing herself down enquired if the doctor would care for some tea, to which the doctor agreed, after my mother had left and closed the door, Doctor Talbot turned and still will a smile on her face sat on the end of the bed and looked at me expectantly.

"I had a flood of memories Doctor Talbot all at once, did I pass out?"

Drawing in a deep breath the doctor spoke in a slow calm voice probably perfected over the years.

"Well Taylor, first off call me Gillian it far easier than doctor Talbot everytime, secondly I think you had a major trigger point, what I surmise to have happened is you had an overwhelming rush of flashbacks combined with recognition and returning memories, this caused you're brain to shutdown to process and put it all in order and to do that it need to make you sleep so it could work at its own pace with no interruptions"

Then Gillian explained how these things worked and what I could expect, she wasn't surprised I had a nasty headache and certain things didn't make sense that I could remember, she told me to try not to rush it or force any memories that my brain will sort it in its own good time, this may be a few hours or days, depending on a lot of things.

She then asked if any of the returning memories made sense and if so could I talk through them with her, so she could assess my mental state.

As we talked and drank the tea my mother provided, I found talking about it in chronological order made other memories spring up and slot nicely into the picture.

I told her about Declan and how we dated at college and how I had fallen for him and then how he left me.

I left out the part where he stole my money and he was the cause of my problems when he pushed me over, I don't know why I did, but it just didn't seem right to at that moment in time.

"Hum, seems you're memory has returned at least ninety percent has" she gave me a look that said she knew I was holding back on something, but thankfully she didn't push it.

She did a few tests on and checked me over, before declaring that I was on the road to recovery, but I was to remain in bed and to rest, giving myself time to recover and to process everything and she would be back in a couple of days to check up on me.

I thanked her for her help and apologised for being a nuisance, but she just waved it away and said it was all part and parcel of the job.

Once the good doctor had left, my mother came in with a lap tray piled high with a cooked dinner, one of my favorites, roast chicken, roast potatoes, yorkshire pudding, vegetables and all the trimmings, I knew it wasn't a Sunday, the usual day for such a treat, so it must be a relief present from my mother.

After gorging myself on the meal, I pushed the tray to one side and made a mental note to thank her when she came in, I settled back and just thought I would close my eyes for a minute, but promptly fell into a deep sleep.

As my morning chorus of cockerels woke me up, I felt a lot better, my headache had all but gone and my memory seemed to have put everything in order as it all made sense now.

Gingerly I rose and made my way to the bathroom as I felt in dire need of freshing up, so after a nice hot bath and clean teeth I was ready to face the world.

The kitchen was a hive of activity when I reached it my father was hurriedly chewing his way through toast and marmalade, while mother was putting the finishing touches to what I assumed was my cooked breakfast.

"Morning all" I put on my most I'm feeling fine now voice and stepped over to hug my mother.

"What are you doing up" she exclaimed.

"I was just going to bring you your breakfast in bed"

"Huh! I never get my breakfast in bed" my father added in a teasing voice.

"Oh hush Thomas you're up to early in the mornings and besides you're never ill"

I chuckled at the banter between my two parents they were really the apitamy of true love they always kissed and hugged when they were going to separated for more than a few minutes, I just hoped I could have a love like that some day.

As I was supposed to be on bed rest, I wasn't allowed to help my father outside, but with a little bit of showing off, my mother relented and allowed me to help her inside the house, so I cleared away the breakfast things and washed up, before tackling my room and the vacuuming and ironing.

I did manage to escape outside to take mugs of coffee to my father and Bryn another forrester who worked in the Park and managed to stay for half an hour on the pretence of waiting for their empty mugs.

As the day slowly progressed, I found myself wandering back through my past and some feelings I had forgotten started to resurface, where upon I found myself thinking of Declan as these thoughts were the one that stirred up the most feelings and the more I thought about him the more my stomach clenched and that little part of my heart started to grow bigger and bigger.

As much as I wanted to hate and despise him, I couldn't, I found my feelings were far from loathing and hate, in fact some of them were the complete opposite, I was still a little bit in love with Declan Morris I think.