All I Want Is You

Reaching For The Stars

Declan

It had been over two years since I had ran away from that shitty college, armed with an agents card and some cash I had acquired, I had bought a guitar and amp and headed to the bright lights and to cut a long story short, had endured rejection after rejection and failure after failure.

I had written what I classed as good pop songs, trying for a saturated market, when one guy told me, that with my voice I should try heavier rock and beef up the music and no cheesy lyrics, write from the heart.

Stewing on this for a few weeks, I decided I didn't have anything to lose, so I sat and tried to write rock songs, easier said than done.

Till one night sat in my small bedsit, I had an epiphany, write from the heart he said, I suddenly remembered, college and the girl, the girl I had callously robbed of all her money and left on the floor, the girl I had used for my own gain, then tossed aside.

This bought on a sudden wave of guilt and disgust as my mind played the devil advocate and suddenly what I had hidden from myself came flooding back.

The evil self centered drink and drug induced arrogant jerk, that was me with these thoughts pounding my brain I wrote, the lyrics flowing from my pen and the music beating in my brain.

The songs were my guilt, my sorrow for my actions, but mostly for her, for Taz.

I remembered the first time I called her that.

"Taz, where did you get that from, my friends call me Tay"

I had replied that I knew that, but I wanted to call her something special, something just she and I used, so she would always know it was me, when I called her or took her out.

"Well, who am I to dampen your enthusiasm" she had smirked, but later on confessed that she liked the idea of having a special name just between the two of us.

That girl! who had grown on me inside my heart, that girl! I had denied existed until now, I wrote an album of songs and more, I wrote for Taz, that girl who could no longer remain hidden, the girl I had to repay, I needed to do this I needed to beg forgiveness and all this came out in my writing.

Now all I had to do was become a rock and roll singer and with this material, I couldn't fail I felt it in my bones, the agent also suggested a name change Declan Morris sounded like an undertaker, his words not mine and after driving myself crazy trying to find a name that did it for me, I finally came up with Chase Ryder, don't ask me how I got it, I just did, it was now a case of making the grade, earn serious money and put the world to right, especially for one person at least.

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"Ladies and gentlemen, can you whistle, can you shout, can you scream for the greatest rock and roll band this decade, ladies and gentlemen let's hear it for Chase Ryder and Phenomenon" yelled the announcer at the O2 arena in London as we started our first sell out UK tour.

'Phenomenon were phenomenal' : NME.

'Phenomenon sellout tour in three hours' : Billboard.

Chase Ryder a name to watch out for : The Guardian.

Phenomenon a new age for rock and roll : The Sun.

As it turned out, I had written far more songs than I needed for one album, so I held back the songs that were full of deep meaning, the songs for Taz, they were for a later album, her album, where I would apologise to Taz in front of the world, but first I had to find her.

My first pay cheque was mind blowing for me anyway and one of the first things I did, was hire a private investigator to track down Taz, I had learnt that she was no longer in London having dropped out of college and literally disappeared over night, I felt a huge pang of guilt was it because I had stolen her money.

"Hey Chase great show tonight, the audience and critics loved it" Ray our manager bought me back to the fact I was sitting in the dressing room still hot and sweaty from the show at Birmingham Genting Arena, the fans had been great and I loved the attention I got especially from the women.

"Yeah, it was great" I grinned a well practiced grin that hid my inner turmoil.

"Well come on Chase there are some girls that would like to meet you, know what I mean" as he moved his hands in front of his chest to highlight the girls bust was big and she was up for it.

"Fine I'll be there in a minute, just gotta shower, tell her to keep them warm for me"

I ducked into the small bathroom at the back of the changing room and removed my clothes, a quick shower and change and I was ready, I knew after some sexual activity with a groupie I would need another one, but hey such was the life of a rock star.

The meeting area or green room as seemed to be known as, no idea why, was packed with all the lucky audience members who had paid or won backstage passes and were hyped up to meet the band and especially me.

Plastering on my smile I walked into the room and was immediately surrounded by semi clothed on heat females, god these women were real sluts, dying to get into my bed and do anything I asked, just for bragging rights.

I wondered sometimes if these women had a list, just like men claim women as a notch on their belt, these women had a book they crossed the names of the famous people they slept with.

Daniel Southgate the drummer was sprawled on a settee with his arms along the back as two semi naked females fought over who's mouth should be over his exposed manhood.

Andy Cooke was sat on a chair with a dyed blonde bimbo sat on his lap while his hands were up the front of her figure hugging T-shirt and you didn't need to be psychic to know what his hands were doing as the T-shirt moved and she sighed.

Dan and Andy were from the original band I had setup in school and it didn't take much to get them on board.

Ritchie and Trevor declined as they were both in happy relationships, so the record company set me up with two session musicians who wanted something more permanent, Roger Clarke and William Scott, both good musicians and completed the band.

Trying to get to the table with all the drink and food laid out on I had to ensure endless groping, these women had no shame, they were not adverse to grabbing my crotch or arse, or taking my hand and rubbing it over their chest or between their legs or smiling and fluttering their eyes at me, hoping they would be the one I bed tonight, sometime I would take two or three and lay back and let them get on with it, other times like tonight I only wanted one, a sex slave for a night, then good riddance.

Managing to snag a beer and shuffle to a vacant settee, I plopped down only to be covered in screaming females.
As they ran their hands all over my body I concentrated on swigging my beer, hand were down the front of my jeans and on my chest as my t-shirt was practically ripped off of me and claimed by someone as a prize.

Finishing off my beer, I belched and ran the back of my hand across my mouth, then I looked over what was on offer tonight, selecting a busty blonde that was dressed in a tight mini skirt and even smaller and tighter top.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her after me back towards the tour bus, she squealed in delight at having been selected and trotted behind me, assuring me she was going to make it worth my while and she was up for anything even group sex.

Sheesh these girls, have they no respect for themselves, but then again did I have any for me?