All I Want Is You

My Home Life

Taylor

(Back to the present)

Oh god that kiss, how on earth could I ever forget that, I was experiencing feelings in my body that I had never experienced before or at least as far as I knew, as the whole kissing senario flooded my brain.

Alas I couldn't remember anymore, what happened after the kiss did we go any further.

Shit! Why can't I remember.

"Hey love" the sweet voice of my mother and the gentle shaking of my shoulder, bought my thoughts back to the present.

"Huh" was the only sound I could come up with.

"Are you alright, you seemed to be miles away"

I just remembered a few things from my past, did I ever talk about a guy called Declan Morris?"

"Not sure of his name but now you mention it, I forgot that you sent us a photo of a boy you were dating at college, let me see if I can find it, perhaps it will stir up some more memories"

Our ancient hand me down sideboard was home to all things classed as valuable and my parents deemed anything involving me as valuable and they argued that having nearly losing me it had been proven to be a correct decision.

Pulling out a battered wooden box hiding right at the back, she began searching through a mound of photographs, sighing and chuckling as she stopped to study the occasional one that bought back memories.

"Here we go, how silly of me to forget this" she announced holding it up like a trophy.

Arh so that's what he looks like, damn girl you have good taste. I thought to myself.

It was a picture with three other girls and guys in it these I assumed must be my friends, Elise, Tanya and Kelsey, though I didn't know who was who and the guys no idea, I just hoped the guy with his arm around me as we looked in to each other's eyes smiling was Declan because he was a sex god that's for sure.

It was great I could now put faces to my memories, even if I got the girls wrong, I knew a bit about my friends as my mother kept all the letters I sent her, so I was able to read them and fill in some more gaps, it was like building up my profile or building a jigsaw puzzle, you hunt for the bits and try and fit them in.

I am hoping now my past is coming back to me and it will not stop until all the gaps are filled.

As the clock on the mantelpiece chimed ten, I stifled a yawn and rose from the couch.

"I'm tired and I have to be up early to help you guys, so I'm off to bed, night mum, night dad see you in the morning"

I trudged wearily down the narrow passage and up the narrow winding stairs avoiding the step at the bottom and the second from the top as they both creaked ominously and I was scared I would fall through into the pantry.

Opening the door to my personal space, I gave a small tired smile to myself, this was mine small and compact just as I liked it.

A small sash window at the end of the room with six small panes of glass, gave me a panoramic view of the park, to the left a small stream lead out to the lake, on the right huge trees a small copse that afforded the local squirrel population an endless supply of nuts and berry's and shelter to the odd pheasant that passed through.

Under my window was a small half-moon hallway table that acted as my desk a small pot of pens and my diary sat on top, plus a framed picture of the three of us taken outside the front of our thatched cottage, a small foldaway metal chair, now folded and resting against my desk.

A large ancient wardrobe and non matching chest of drawers dominated the long wall, while my white wooden framed single bed filled the other wall.

Making my way to the window I rested my elbows on the window ledge and stared out upon the quiet serine setting as the wildlife had all settled down for the night.

I sighed had Declan been my boyfriend, had he forgotten about me, had we split up, it was so infuriating not being able to recall all my past, sure most of my childhood if not all had returned and now I had the beginning of my college life, then nothing until I woke up years later.

Doctor Talbot, whom I was able to speak with by phone, though usually I spoke to one of her assistants and they would get her to ring me when she was free. The latest diagnosis was that I was progressing well and the fact most of my earlier life had returned was a good sign.

The reason for the loss of my college life was probably due to the fact that's where the incident happened and my brain refused to release the details, but I should be prepared because those hidden and potentially shocking memories could return anytime especially if something jolts them awake.

Then I was to ring her immediately and use the previous arranged password to be put straight through to her anytime day or night.

Giving my head a little shake as though trying to clear the thoughts from my head, I couldn't held but smile and fantasize what if senarios. Closing my green velvet curtains, I undressed and slipped on my fleece pyjamas, because the old cottage had ill fitting windows and the bedroom became very cold during the night, it was a morning chore to wipe the condensation that streamed down the window each day.

tucking my thick quilt around my neck I drifted off to sleep.

The following morning the chorus of the two cockerels
crowing aroused me from my slumber and bought me back to face another day, quick visit to the bathroom to do the necessaries and throwing on my jeans, T-shirt and thick Shetland jumper as the onset of winter made the morning to chilly to hang about and wrap up warm was a must until the open fire into the lounge took hold and the old aga stove in the kitchen shed some heat.

First job of the day slip on my wellies and help dad with feeding all our feathered friends and let them our into their runs, encased in my old woollen hand me down full length coat and woollen gloves, I ventured out finding my father busy opening the chicken shed and letting the hens charge out for food, it was like watching the doors open in a big store for the January sales, bedlam.

When all was right with our guests, it was time to retreat to the kitchen and warm our cold bones in front of the hopefully now raging aga, whilst mother served up a stomach warming English breakfast, eggs, bacon, sausages, tomatoes and fried bread.

Such was my life a typical Sunday morning and I loved it this was it for me, my life! here I was safe hidden from the rest of the world with my family, no one to hurt me, yet why did I feel as though something was missing, something important.

A quick shrug what the hell and off to help mum with some more chores.