As I settled down in my seat I exhaled. The negative trail of thoughts from last night having left me, after talking to Lilly on the phone before boarding. She reminded me that this trip was a break for all of us to kick back and relax, regardles of and no matter what news she had to deliver to Luke at long last.
She said that if his reaction wasn't one she dreamed of having its ok, she's expecting him to be angry and upset for being left in the dark about Sydney but she had to tell him none the less. That was her only goal during this break.
But more so, she drummed it into my head that this break was also home therapy for us. We needed bringing back to our roots for having become what we never wanted, machine artists. This was about finding ourselves and finding answers for us as a band and as individuals.
Much like, Lilly's is to find herself and find peace of mind and a direction of Sydneys future, sure Luke's reactions and response to Sydney can weigh in on how that changes and how it shapes up but Lilly has a fallback if he decides he wants nothing to do with them both.
•
"If he wants to be a part of our lives and this family, he's welcome to, I'll always wait for him, he always knew that," she sighed clearly struggling to comprehend life without him if he turns away from them, "If he just wants Sydney, sure that'll hurt but I'll get by, she's always my priority and as long as she's happy , I'm happy.. or I will be with time,"
"And well, if he wants neither both of us or not even Sydney that's okay or with time it will be. She had never met him in person and won't have to deal with the pain of losing him, i made sure to protect her from the pain of losing him, especially as she never had him there in person,"
•
Her voice rang in my head, her pain and tiredness, she always sacrifices so much and works all hours to try and give Sydney everything she needs, she works her ass off to better herself to ensure opportunities aren't missed to better their lifestyle. I can't even comprehend how proud I am of her, for being so strong and determined and grown up for that little girl.
After having that conversation with Lily, my nerves had calmed considerably, sure they were still there but well, the unknown of Luke's reaction was lingering in my mind and I couldn't shake it.
"You're not nervous of the flight are you?" Ashton chuckled from my left on the other aisle in the window seat, Calum next to him shook his head.
"Nah flights don't bother him anymore, but something is, so what is it?" Calum cocked his head curiously but I waved him off.
"Probably wondering what people's reactions will be back home, like I am," Luke's mumbled from my side.
Nailed it there mate.
"Yeah, you couldn't be more right if you tried," I laughed, "I genuinely don't know how this is gonna play out,"
YOU ARE READING
Sydney - Luke Hemmings (completed)
FanfictionIt was one night that decided their entire future without them even realising it. • "But where is he?" "He's away saving lives babygirl,"
