Steve the Frisbee Grandpa, Tony the Internet Troll, Mom Natasha, Caps Lock Army Thor, and much more
Here is yet another Avengers Texts, so you can find out how completely irresponsible they all are in their spare time.
(I wrote this so long ago an...
Tony: Just because you're an old person doesn't mean you have to text like a 73 year old english teacher
Steve: No need to be so harsh :'(
Steve: Have you guys been avoiding me?
Natasha: Tony has
Tony: No I haven't Natasha shut up
Natasha: Nah bro he's totally hiding from you
Tony: s h u t u p
Natasha: n o
Steve: Why avoid me, though? I'm confused
Tony: Uh no reason
Tony: Just
Tony: Tired???
Natasha: He accidentally dropped takeout on your shield last night and ran away before you found it
Steve: Tony
Steve: What the everloving heck
Natasha: yeah, tony, what the everloving heck
Steve: Are you mocking me
Natasha: No, whatever would give you that impression
- Steve has changed Natasha's nickname to Salt Queen -
Salt Queen: I've been called worse
Tony: Suits you
Steve: So basically you dropped takeout on my shield, didn't bother to clean it up, and then ran away from me for a day
Tony: Something like that, yes
Salt Queen: only a day?? hmm, tony???
Tony: for the love of god shut uP for oNCE
Salt Queen: Interesting suggestion, let me confer with my council
Salt Queen: We've come to a decision, it's a no
Salt Queen: What a shocker, never could have predicted that answer
Tony: Screw you Natasha
Salt Queen: Who's Natasha? Only salt royalty here
Steve: Oh my GOD Tony what the hell?!
Tony: natasha, I want you to know, I despise you with every fiber of my being
Salt Queen:
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Steve: You literally left takeout sitting out for what, four days?
Salt Queen: A week, actually
Steve: Why do I even put up with you
Tony: I panicked?
Salt Queen: Nah, he's just a wimp
Tony: S T O P
Salt Queen: (✿◠‿◠)
Steve: Will you two stop bickering for once in your lives?
Salt Queen: Nope
Tony: It's Natasha's faaaaault
Tony: Blame herrrrrr
Salt Queen: Hey Tony
Salt Queen: Did you know that for the small price of $0 a day, you could shut the hell up?
Tony: SEE STEVE THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
Salt Queen: It's a great deal, rare bargain price
Salt Queen: I highly suggest you take this offer
Tony: Or what?
Salt Queen: Or you'll be dead and I'll still be fabulous
Steve: Violence is never the answer
Salt Queen: Oh Steve. I feel like such an awful parent. Where did I go wrong.
Steve: Stooop
Salt Queen: My poor son
Steve: You're not my mom!
Salt Queen: g A S P
Tony: oh you did NOT just say that
Steve: You aren't, though!
Salt Queen: HO W DA RE YOU SAY SUCH A TERRIBLE THING
Tony: APOLOGIZE TO YOUR MOTHER RIGHT NOW
Steve: No
Salt Queen: I'm in tears. My life's work is for nothing. I am shattered.
Steve: Stop overreacting.
Tony: It's ok, Natasha, he's just going through a phase.
Steve: I'm like 99 years old
Salt Queen: I just *sniff* I just don't think I can deal with this kind of negativity in my life right now
Tony: It's ok, Natasha. It'll be alright.
Steve: Oh come ON
Steve: You two were just yelling at each other five minutes ago.
Tony: We support each other in times of great tragedy, Steve
Steve: Oh for the love of god
Salt Queen: I need a break from all this
- Salt Queen has left the chat -
Steve: Oh my god. Fine, I'm sorry, alright?
Tony: It's too late for that now, Steve.
Tony: Words hurt, bro. Words hurt.
Steve: Why didn't you go into a theater career, you dramatic idiot
Tony: I knew I could never be as amazing as Robert Downey Jr.
Tony: Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be leaving now
- Tony has left the chat -
Steve: .
Steve: I am surrounded by idiots
Hi guys, your shitty author is back after months of silence with a chapter full of jokes that sounded way better in their head! Anyone still sticking with this deserves a medal, you all deserve better
