Avengers Texts

Part 33: Spider Disgrace and Cinderella

Tony: This is an emergency planning session. 

Natasha: No, this is the group text. 

Tony: This is a group text without Thor. 

Spidey: With me included!! :D 

Natasha: YOU'RE TOO YOUNG 

Spidey: DISGRACE UPON THE OTHER SPIDER 

Natasha: SHUSH 

Spidey: DISGRAAAAAAAAAAACE 

Tony: GUYS FOCUS 

Steve: What's going on? 

Bruce: Am I correct in saying that this has something to do with Thor? 

Tony: YOU ARE CORRECT 

Pepper: Tony, I am going to throw this food at you if you refuse to eat it 

Tony: Pepper, I love you, but this is an emergency planning session. 

Pepper: You're going to have a new emergency if you don't eat this damn food. 

Tony: JEEZ, PEPPER, DON'T KILL ME 

Pepper: What is this planning session for anyway 

Clint: I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and assume that it's about the fact that Thor is in a Cinderella costume and trying to talk to birds. 

Maria: He looks very nice in the dress. 

Steve: It's in the wrong size, though. 

Maria: True, true. 

Tony: I don't care if he's wearing a dress. The thing that I have a problem with is the fact that as I text, he is diving into a bathtub attempting to sing "UNDER THE SEA" 

Pepper: You can wait a little bit to eat. But only because he stole all of the furniture and teacups. 

Tony: Wait, he stole all the furniture and teacups? 

Pepper: Beauty and the Beast Reenactment. Please don't ask. 

Spidey: How can I help, guys? 

Natasha: THERE IS ONLY ROOM FOR ONE SPIDER 

Spidey: *cries dramatically* 

A Pool of Dead: HEEEEEEEEEEEEY GUYS 

A Pool of Dead: I'M HERE NOW, YOUR LIVES ARE BETTER 

Bruce: Oh no. 

Steve: Brochacho, you're interupting the swagger of our on fleek conversation #booo #we're on fleek yo 

Maria: Excuse me while I calmly extract myself from the conversation and hit my head against a table. 

Natasha: MAKE IT STOP 

Bruce: STEVE NO 

Spidey: Is he always like this 

Steve: Don't know what you're talking about, bro #yolo 

Spidey: GAAAAKGLKSHDC 

A Pool of Dead: Yeesh, you're scaring ME away. 

Tony: IGNORE MR. FROZENBUTT OVER THERE FOR A MINUTE, WE NEED TO DISUSS THOR 

Spidey: Kidnap him 

Clint: Steve or Thor? 

Spidey: Both 

Maria: Surprisingly good idea 

Spidey: I DID A GOOD THING 

Maria: Don't ruin it. 

Spidey: Okie dokie 

Natasha: Where'd Deadpool go 

- A Pool of Dead has left the chat- 

Natasha: STEVE, YOU MANAGED TO SCARE DEADPOOL AWAY 

Natasha: DEADPOOL!!!!! 

Steve: Whoops 

Bruce: Um guys? Thor is skipping through the hallways. 

Tony: Forget all of you I'm going to kidnap him right now 

Bruce: What then? 

Natasha: We force him to watch After Ever After five million times 

Spidey: That'll make him cry 

Natasha: Shhh 

Spidey: I AM TRYING TO BE SMART AND HELPFUL OVER HERE 

Pepper: It's Natasha. Don't even try to argue with her. 

Maria: If Tony isn't going to eat that food, can I have it? 

Pepper: Sure. It's pizza that I ordered. 

Maria: I'll be right over. 

Tony: ;-; 

Tony: Do you guys want to go get food with me 

Tony: I can tell you all about myself, it'll be great 

-Steve has left the chat- 

-Clint has left the chat- 

-Bruce has left the chat- 

Spidey: Do I make this sacrifice in order to gain connections? 

Natasha: What're you gonna do, buddy? 

Spidey: I CAN'T DO THIS 

Spidey: NO MATTER WHAT'S AT STAKE I CAN'T DO THIS 

Natasha: Well you've gained some of my respect. Good choice. 

-Spidey has left the chat- 

-Natasha has left the chat- 

-Maria has left the chat- 

-Pepper has left the chat- 

Tony: ;-; 

Sometimes it's almost physically painful to write for Steve