Avengers Texts

Part 49: All Of The Sweaters

Fitz: Is Mr. Banner here? Coulson told me to ask.

Bruce: I'm here. And you can just call me Bruce.

Tony: Coulson could have just asked that himself

Fitz: I'm still not entirely sure why he didn't

Natasha: Did you get the sweater that I sent you, my child?

Fitz: Yes, thank you.

Tony: So, FITZ, did you even get in any trouble at all

Steve: Why would Fitz be in trouble

Tony: fiTZ

Natasha: hissssssss

Natasha: Do not be angry at my son

Tony: He told me that he'd drop an engine on my head if I didn't shut up!

Fitz: It was an accident.

Clint: You. I like you. 10/10.

Natasha: Wait you actually threatened him?

Fitz: Er, yeah, sorry about that

Natasha: DON'T APOLOGIZE, MY SON! I'M GOING TO SEND YOU ANOTHER SWEATER NOW

Peter: Wait how many children do you have?

Natasha: Hello, other son.

Fitz: Do you adopt a lot of people?

Natasha: It's mostly just you and Peter. Steve grew up and now he just hangs out with his boyfriend, talks in bad internet slang, and sulks.

Steve: I do not!

Bucky: you kind of do

Steve: I have been betrayed ;-;

Steve: I'm not buying you ice cream later

Bucky: BUT ICE CREAM

Bruce: So what did Coulson need?

Fitz: He needs you to go talk to him later about the whole problem with Deadpool still stuck in space with Star Lord.

Peter: He's still stuck?

Fitz: Apparently.

Peter: YES! I'M FREE!

Fitz: Do I want to know?

Peter: No. No you don't.

Fitz: Then I should probably leave the private Avenger text group. Since I'm not an Avenger.

Natasha: NO! MY SON! YOU MUST STAY!

Natasha: MY CHILD

Fitz: Uh

Steve: You should stay. I think that Natasha doesn't threaten to kill people as much when you're around

Fitz: Nice to know.

Wanda: Has anybody seen my brother?

Tony: No

Clint: Why?

Wanda: Because he stole my shoes and coffee and then ran

Tony: Wut

Wanda: He stole my shoes and my coffee and ran.

Wanda: I think he also stole Thor's phone. I'm not sure why but I need to hit him in the face with an encyclopedia.

Steve: Harsh.

Wanda: Yeah, well

Wanda: He stole my coffee

Natasha: Fair enough.