Avengers Texts

Part 39: Emergency Discussion

Natasha: We all need to discuss something. 

Steve: What is it? 

Peter: It's actually quite a large problem. 

Natasha: So, Peter was recently injured, as you all know. 

Tony: Git rekt 

Peter: Rude 

Clint: I still don't understand how he was injured 

Peter: Because I was trying to respond to a group text while someone was trying to kill me. 

Clint: Dude wth 

Thor: WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT, ARE YOU SOMEHOW LACKING A LARGE AMOUNT OF BRAIN CELLS? 

Bruce: Guys. WE HAVE ALL DONE THIS 

Clint: Noooo- oooh wait 

Natasha: EXACTLY 

Peter: I WAS STABBED 

Tony: I thought that you were completely immune to small knives 

Peter: Shut up and go roll in money or whatever you do in your spare time 

Tony: I take personal offense to that 

Steve: All of that aside, we also have another problem. 

Clint: It appears that we do. 

Maria: WHAT DID YOU IMBECILES DO THIS TIME 

Steve: I did nothing 

Clint: DON'T MAKE ME TAKE ALL THE BLAME FOR THIS, MAN 

Steve: Blame the elf 

Natasha: What did you even do? 

Bucky: i was 100% not involved

Maria: The missile flying towards us right now? 

Bucky: correction i am, in fact, 100% involved 

Steve: Bucky be quiet 

Clint: Let's just call it a team effort, ok? 

Bucky: i just wanted to order pizza 

Bruce: Soo... you tried to order pizza and you ended up launching a missile? 

Bucky: that seems about right 

Tony: SERIOUSLY DUDE HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT?! 

Bucky: life is harder when you have a metal arm 

Natasha: What do Clint and Steve have to do with this 

Clint: I accidentally programmed missile codes into his cell phone 

Steve: Well actually it was a phone that wasn't supposed to be used but I gave it to Bucky 

Maria: WHY WOULD YOU EVEN PROGRAM MISSILE CODES INTO A CELL PHONE YOU COMPLETE IDIOT 

Clint: I assure you, it seemed perfectly logical at the time. 

Steve: And so did handing Bucky the phone with the large 'Do not touch this phone' sign on it 

Thor: IT APPEARS THAT THERE IS A MISSILE HEADED TOWARDS US 

Tony: No shit 

Bucky: am i in trouble 

Fury: YES YOU ARE, YOU MORON

Scott: Anything I can do to help? 

Maria: Not at the moment 

Scott: Then where's the soda machine 

Maria: Ask Fury 

Fury: Ask Phil 

Scott: Got it 

Natasha: So there's kind of a missile headed towards us, are we actually going to deal with this situation or not? 

Clint: That seems smart 

Natasha: You did this, hush. 

Clint: Heeeeey it wasn't ALL me. 

Natasha: Shhh. 

Steve: LESS THEN 50 SECONDS 

Bucky: soooorry 

Fury: Barton, Rogers, Barnes, Stark, take care of the freaking missile. 

Tony: WHY MEEEE 

Fury: Because I'm ticked off at you. 

-Fury has left the chat- 

Tony: NICE, REAL NICE 

Bruce: JUST STOP THE MISSILE, OK?! 

Steve: AAAAAAAAACK 

-Steve has left the chat- 

Bucky: steeeeeevvvvveee 

-Bucky has left the chat- 

-Clint has left the chat- 

-Tony has left the chat- 

Thor: ARE THEY BEING REMOTELY SUCCESSFUL WITH THIS MISSION? 

Wanda: Well, we'll see about that in about 30 seconds. 

Natasha: ... 

Natasha: We're doomed. 

So I think that Ron's prediction from Divination will finally come true tomorrow while I'm watching Civil War... I'm going to suffer, but I'll be happy about it.