Filled With Pain ©

Thirty Five

FWP- Thirty Five.

I propped myself up on the bed as I spoke on the phone to Tamera and Khalil. 3 way convo.

“So what are you going to do about the baby?” Tamera asked

“I don’t know.” I said as I ate my Ben and jerry’s.

“Abort it.” Khalil said.

“I can’t do that! That’s evil. And plus I promised myself that I would never abort. Unless I have a terminal illness and I don’t so...” I said sighing.

“Do you know what you need to do? Tell Tristan. He deserves to know that you’re pregnant.” Tamera said.

“I can’t. He’ll leave me and I love him.” I said.

“Well it’s your fault! And there is a possibility that is his. It might not be.” I thought about it. I did actually start noticing a change before the Malakai thing.

“True..”

“Well personally from a man’s point of view. If it was me, I would ask for my ring back, tell you to f*ck off and keep my kids. Tristan hasn’t done that yet and he knows you’re doing something. Now that’s true love.” Khalil said.

“He’s right, Rocky. You’ve messed up bad.”

“Yeah, let me go talk to him now. Deuces.” I hung up and looked at myself in the mirror.

“How could you be so stupid Rockelle? You’ve disappointed me.” That’s what I could hear at the back off my mind. I knew it was my mum.

“I’m sorry mummy.” I pulled my leggings up to my stomach and pulled my top lower. I walked out to see Emi, Asten and Tristan sitting watching Hancock.

I coughed to let them know I was there. They turned around with black face apart from one.

“Mommy.” Asten waved and I waved back.

“Trist...” I called out.

“Mmm.” He said.

“Can I talk to you?” I asked.

“Talk then...” He said.

“In private.”

He kissed his teeth before standing up.

“Lead the way boo.” I felt my heart melt.

I opened the door and he followed me into the room. I stood up and he sat down on the bed. My hands immediately flew to my mouth, nibbling on my nails.

We were standing there in silence for about 10 minutes before he decided to speak.

“I love you...and you hurt me.” He whispered.

“I’m sorry, Tristan it hurts me too.”

“Don’t be dumb, you know what you were doing.”  Tristan said with tears in his eyes.

“Please don’t cry.” I begged

“Don’t cry? Don’t cry? Don’t tell me what the f*ck I can do. Let me talk sit down.” I sat down.

“I don’t want you to tell me what you’re doing. Cos if I find out, I WILL leave you and I love you too much for that. You’re my life don’t you understand. You’re the mother of my first child and hopefully more. I know you’re doing something. I just...” He went silent and looked up at me his gray eyes had turned a black.

“I don’t know why, I done it. I just...”

“You what?” He asked. I stayed silent. “You know what; I know you didn’t mean it. Your confused right? Aite, Imma give you ONE more chance. Cos I love you, I don’t want to leave you. You’re everything I want in a woman. Your smart and you don’t take shit from anyone. What more could I ask for?” Tristan said. He stood up and knelt down in front of me.

“Give me your hand boo boo.” I handed him my hand and he kissed it.

“What are you doing?” I whispered. “I hurt you.”

“I know and the fact that I’m willing to forgive you does that not say something about the way I feel about you?”

I nodded.

“This doesn’t mean we aint gon get married aite? I still want you to be my life, my wife. Let’s just put this behind us aite?”