Heal My Heart

E i g h t y - T w o : C h a r l i e

Leah was feeding Kingsley breakfast when I came downstairs. "Where's Bailey?"

"Asleep. Again."

"Has he been eating?"

"He's been drinking the smoothies Scott go so that's...something. But I hear you had an amazing idea for your toast?"

"Yeah! I was hoping Scott would be around so I could tell him about it. I have to make the decision today and I really wanted his input."

"He left this morning. Something about supplies?"

"I guess I'll just have to call him." I sighed.

The phone call was also painfully brief. All he said was a hurried, "whatever you want" and then he hung up. He was in charge of picking out our wedding bands--I was terrified he'd forget!

I went back into the kitchen were Kingsley had taken to communicating primarily through barks and meows. "No more farm toys. Ever. Do you hear me Mr. Kingsley?"

He blinked at her. "Woof-woof."

"Good Lord--how'd it go?"

"He said he was busy. Again." My voice wavered and I put my hands over my face as I was overwhelmed with my own fears. "Does he love me?"

"Of course he does! He's just busy Charlie."

"You can't be too busy for someone who you love." I retorted. "I've planned this whole thing all by myself. And I still make the effort to include him. Well...screw him!"

"Charlie! You don't mean that."

"I do. It hurts my feelings Leah." I sniffled. "I haven't always been perfect and neither has he. And I don't expect him to be. But...it wasn't supposed to be like this."

"Charlie--"

"No. I wanted to spend time looking at fabrics and talking about the cake and the decorations and the flowers. He doesn't care about the wedding. Does he even care about me?"

"Don't you think you're overreacting?" Asked Leah hesitantly. "I know he's busy but--"

"You don't understand. I'm going to lay down."

***

I stayed up until Scott got back.

And as usual he acted surprised I was still up. "Charlie why--"

"Am I awake? Because you are. You're my fiancé--my husband in two fucking weeks. And you're never home."

Scott rolled his eyes. "I'm not arguing with you at this hour. Lay down. I'll be back shortly."

"It's not right for you to keep things from me Scott." My voice trembled. "Do you even want to marry me?"

"Of course I do Charlie. How can you even say that? Is this about me not wanting to be involved with the planning? A lot of Doms are like that. I want to give you ultimate--"

"It's more than that. You're...here but you're not. Like this isn't what you want."

"How dare you suggest that? After everything we've been through together--"

"Then why are we growing so far apart suddenly? What did I do?!"

"I'm cheating on you!"

My jaw fell slack. Everything came to a screeching halt as all the blood seemed to rush to my head. Scott froze, his chest heaving a bit from his anger. "You're cheating on me."

"No--it's not like that Charlie. I didn't mean to tell you--"

"You didn't mean to tell me!" I screamed, tears filling my eyes and falling down my face. "You selfish piece of shit!"

"Charlie!" He reached for me. I slid off the bed and backed away.

"Don't fucking touch me." I whimpered. "Who?"

"Charlie--"

"Who have you been fucking behind my back."

I was so...angry. My old Dom, Connor, had slept with a different sub once. But he had done so drunkenly and apologized the morning after. And had never done so again. "No one important."

"No one important? You threw everything we had together away for no one important?!"

"Just lower your voice and calm down a second alright?" He seemed a little alarmed. "Don't you think you're overreacting?"

Overreacting. "Get out!"

"Excuse me?"

"Go back to your whore--that's where you were last right? Fucking him? While your fiancé had to lie alone wondering where you were?"

Scott gripped his hair. "It's not like that Charlie! He-- I don't love him. I love you."

"If you loved me you would have been here with me. You wouldn't have even thought about..." I choked and let out another broken sob.

My heart was breaking. It was all falling apart. "I made a mistake. But I came clean--"

"You said you didn't want to tell me!" I shrieked. "Where do the lies end Scott?"

"Here. I mean--there weren't any lies Charlie! I messed up okay? But we don't need to let this ruin what we have."

"What we had," I corrected with a trembling voice.

Scott went still. "You don't mean that."

"I mean it with all my heart." I pulled off the engagement ring and threw it blindly at him. It bounced off his chest onto the bed. "We're done."

"Charlie--"

I opened the bedroom door and slammed it shut. The gravity of it all hit me and I crumpled to my knees in the hallway. "Oh God, oh God..."

I knew I was alive but it felt like I'd died.

And all that was left was to accept that it was over. All our dreams ran like water through my hands.

Was I so awful and unlovable that I drove everyone away?

No one could fall victim as often as I had without deserving it in some way.

But I couldn't harden my heart completely. Someday I would love again. But it wasn't going to be tonight.

But I could dream.

Someday someone would truly love me and all this pain would be gone.

QOTC: I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE MAD AND SAD BUT THIS ISNT THE END AND THERE WILL BE BEAUTY FROM ALL THIS MISERY I PROMISE. Just hang in there (I'm talking to you, Property_of_Gaara 😭😁❤️)
I'm almost scared to ask but...
Did Charlie overreact? *winces into the corner as she waits*