The Mate of a Monster

Part 52

He didn't even bother with helping me up into the truck, he just lifted me up and put me there.

"Thank you" I told him as he shut the door. He took a few minutes to come around and actually get in the truck. He finally got in and started the truck up loudly, he sighed and looked over at me, I gave him a big smile tilting my head up. He grinned at me and started driving.

"You're the best" I told him.

"Why's that?" he asked.

"You just are" I told him shrugging. I could feel the alcohol wearing off, I reached over the console having to lift my body up on it and reached for his hand, I got it and intertwined our fingers resting both our hands on the middle console.

He looked down at our hands and then at me, I smiled again and he started to brush his thumb lightly along mine. I focused on the feeling for a little while keeping quiet. The feel of my hand in his.  His warmth. He didn't give me the shocks and tingles Dez did, but I knew that Jay cared about me without a doubt. And that was honestly better to me.

Feeling him brush his thumb over mine softly gave me more butterflies than the shocks and tingles Dez gave me. That was the mate pull making me feel those things, this was real. Jay didn't need the mate pull making him like me. He treated me how I should be treated. He didn't leave me guessing or questioning him. I looked over at him and studied him for a minute, I thought a little more.

"Kendal" he said quietly breaking my though process, I turned my attention to him.

"Hm?" I responded waiting for him to say something.

"I want you to be my girlfriend." He stated, my heart clenched.

"Jay... I can't..."

"Why?" he asked.

"You know why" I whispered. He sighed and his hand tightened around mine.

"Kendal, one day you're going to be forced to make the decision between him or me. And you're going to choose him, and that's okay, he's your mate, and you love him, you're supposed to be with him. But I want to be with you and treat you how you deserve to be treated, I want to love you. You're so damn special to me, every time I look at you, you just about give me heart attack because you're so fucking gorgeous good lord, you're the kindest person I've ever met and I said it before and I will say it again, I've never met anything like you. I hope that however much time I have until you have to make that decision is enough time to love you, and appreciate you and convince you to change your mind. If it's not, then you'll be with him and you will be happy and that's all that matters to me, but if it is then I'll be so lucky, god damn. You're the best thing that has happened to me in a long time Kendal, please just let me love you."

I started crying and through my tears I nodded. I deserved this. And I realized that I wanted it. I needed this. I needed him. He nodded too and pulled my hand up and kissed the top of it lightly. I was so tired of being sad about Dez, and wondering if he loved me, or what was happening. And I was so sick of feeling my mark burn and bleed every night, while I laid in bed and tried not to cry.

I was tired of the questions, and the doubts and feeling like I was cursed because my mate was a monster. A cruel, cold-hearted monster, that I was stupid enough to fall in love with. I was just tired.

I was so tired.

I wiped my tears away, thankful make up never crossed my mind.

"Jay" I said timidly,

"Yes" he responded looking over at me.

"I'm kinda hungry, can we get some food?" I asked, he laughed at me and asked me what I wanted. We stopped by IHOP and I got some chocolate chip pancakes and chocolate milk, he just stared at me intently. He didn't say anything, he just watched. Not in a creepy way, I could tell his mind was elsewhere and I was tired and I didn't feel like interrupting whatever had his mind occupied so I didn't say anything. Finally, he took me home, we talked casually on the way back, because he wasn't thinking anymore.