The Drunken Feathers

Scene iii

Carlton House, later that day. The PRINCE OF WALES complains to SHERIDAN in a drawing room as the former eats chocolates.

PRINCE OF WALES: What in God's name possessed Pitt to make him say what he did?

SHERIDAN: It is not Pitt who worries me, but Mr. Rolle, for he will not be satisfied until he thoroughly discusses your marriage.

PRINCE OF WALES: You mean the one that does not exist?

SHERIDAN: [Sighs] Right.

PRINCE OF WALES: [Hesitantly] Of course... Mrs. Fitzherbert may be under the impression that we are lawfully married.

SHERIDAN: [Skeptical and defensive] What have you done?

PRINCE OF WALES: Nothing, nothing at all. I only sought to comfort Mrs. Fitzherbert by allowing her to believe we are married, when in actuality—

SHERIDAN: You are comforting her with a lie.

PRINCE OF WALES: It is not a lie, but it is... subject to debate. You see, I had a Catholic priest "wed us" so that we could live as man and wife without breaching the law. However, as you are aware, a marriage conducted by anyone other than a Protestant minister is void.

SHERIDAN: And the poor lady is unaware of this.

PRINCE OF WALES: That is why I have called you here. I need you to inform her that while an explanation must be made pertaining to our relationship, our marriage will not be denied outright in the House of Commons.

SHERIDAN: But will it be denied?

PRINCE OF WALES: I cannot say for certain. Nonetheless, Mrs. Fitzherbert cannot be made aware of this possibility.

SHERIDAN: You are her "husband," not me. Why should you not be the one to discuss this with her?

PRINCE OF WALES: I think she would preferably hear it from you. She is quite fond of you, Richard.

SHERIDAN: [Interested] Is she?

PRINCE OF WALES: She abhors Fox, naturally, but she admires your playwriting abilities, as well as your wit and discernment.

SHERIDAN: [Smiling faintly] Oh.

PRINCE OF WALES: You will explain all this to her, then?

SHERIDAN: [Looking at the PRINCE OF WALES] Yes, I will.

PRINCE OF WALES: Good! [Muttering] That saves me the trouble of doing it.

LORD SOUTHAMPTON knocks at the door and then enters.

LORD SOUTHAMPTON: I have a verbal message for Your Royal Highness.

PRINCE OF WALES: From whom?

LORD SOUTHAMPTON: Mr. William Pitt, the Prime Minister. He wishes to convey an apology for the harsh words he spoke toward you in the House of Commons.

PRINCE OF WALES: [Haughtily] I never receive verbal messages except from the King... That will be all, Lord Southampton.

LORD SOUTHAMPTON bows and exits.

PRINCE OF WALES: A verbal message? Ha! It is amazing how pathetic some people can be.

SHERIDAN gives the PRINCE OF WALES a look as the latter eats more chocolates. Cut to ACT II, SCENE IV.