......Two Months Later......
I looked over the banister from my room and saw the construction of the Justice building. It was almost finished. I couldn't believe how much District 13 has changed in 2 months.
I lost my best friend, the hunger games, no traveling out of districts, the new electric wired fence, and I'm somewhat prepared to go into an arena and kill people...
The Reaping is tomorrow and I've been doing everything I could to keep my mind off of it. I didn't want to break my no crying record so I've been doing a lot of drawing a music listening.
Even though I try not to, my mind wanders sometimes. Like am I ready to give up my life for Aubrey, what's going to happen if Carson and I are the last ones standing? Do I give up my life? Am I ready for this? Will I die?
Katniss says I'm going to be fine. She says I'm just like her and more. She keeps saying that she believes in me. I think she thinks I'm actually like her.
I heard the door to my room open and footsteps. I didn't move from my position.
"So is this what you've been doing when your not training", Liam asked.
"Usually. I'm either drawing here or in the bay window. The view kinda distracts me. How's everyone", I replied not braking my gaze from the construction workers.
"Good. Nervous, but I mean who isn't. How are you?"
"Like you said, nervous."
I think he picked up my sketchbook and I finally turned around, my hair whipping me in my face.
"Can I?" He asked. I debated on it for a while and then agreed. It didn't really matter anymore. I watched him as he flipped through the pages.
"You know we got letters, from President Snow?" He asked. I raised my eyebrows.
"Yeah. All the famous people have a choice to move to the Capitol and live they're normal lives. We resigned it though and then burned the letters", he said. He stopped at one. It was of two best friends. That was near right after our fight and I missed her more than anything, but she said she didn't want to see me and I didn't want to see her. It would only make things much worse than they are.
"You know...she misses you just as much as you miss her", he said.
I took a seat on the chair.
"Doubt it. She clearly stated she didn't want to see me ever again and that she hoped that I would die first."
"What's with you? You seem so...serious?"
I looked down.
"You know you can tell me, Lillian. I still owe you. Especially since Nikki and I are a thing now", he said.
I took a deep breath and looked up.
"I'm not so sure with my self anymore. Like am I doing the right thing. Is this worth it? What's going to happen?"
"If you ask me, I think you're doing the right thing. Your making a difference and possibly giving someone a chance to live the rest of they're life out, or maybe another year. But hey that's better than nothing and you shouldn't be sad about your decision. You should be happy and spending your last day here with us."
I looked up and smiled.
"See there you go. Now you have the right idea. Maybe we can even start with an apology from a friend?"
I stopped smiling.
"You didn't?" I asked.
"He did." Nikki said coming outside. I didn't even here her come in.
"Well I'm going to leave you two to talk", Liam said getting up and leaving. It was quiet for a while.
"I owe you big time. Liam's a great boyfriend. Well Xander doesn't think so but that's him." I went back over to my view.
"Lillian I'm sorry...."
"For?"
"For calling you an attention seeker and insulting you and for not letting you explain fully. I was a horrible friend and I shouldn't have ever said any of those things. I should've been more considerate like a real friend and should have learned to accept your decision. I shouldn't have flipped on you like that. Forgive me?" I looked at her.
"You know, my life's to short to hold grudges", I said and she smiled.
"Don't say that", she said. I shrugged and she came to come give me a hug which I returned.
"I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now", she said when we pulled apart.
"Hey... I don't want to talk about this. Let's go to the skating room with the boys. Get my mind off of things", I said.
Liam was right. I didn't want to spend my last day stuck in my room all by myself, mourning. I wanted to spend it with Louie and Zayn, Harry and Niall, Liam and Nikki.
I grabbed the skates that Nikki gave me for Christmas and went out the door with her.
"You should tell her. She's just going to be more mad at you later, Harry", Liam said.
"No she's just going to try and stop me", Harry objected.
"What are you guys arguing about?" Nikki asked. They're necks snapped towards us.
"Nothing. You guys make up?" Harry asked.
"Yeah. We were wondering if you wanted to go to the skating room with us?" I asked.
"Sure. It will help get our minds off things", Liam replied and threw a glance to Zayn and Louie who looked pale.
We all went upstairs to the skating room and for the first time in about three months everything seemed completely normal. We were all joking and laughing. All of our troubles were lost and we were our normal selves. Not nervous, or scared like Snow never really had taken over Panem.
After skating for a few hours we went downstairs to play a game. I sat next to Harry and he put his arm around me and pulled me closer. His presence made me happy and I smiled. We played truth or dare.
"Liam is it the truth your hiding something from us?" Louie asked. Nikki, Liam, Harry and I all made eye contact. I guess they never told the guys that they were dating.
"Well..." Louie said.
"Yes.....I'm secretly dating Nikki", he said and they gaped.
"What? Really? How come you didn't tell us?" Niall asked.
"Well because I thought you were going to do that girl test thing that we do, and I didn't know if Nikki was going to take it the wrong way, so Harry and Lillian helped us get together and now we are dating", Liam said.
"Wow, way to through us under the bus", Harry said.
"You to were apart of this?" Zayn asked.
"Yeah, they've both won the titles of love geniuses", Nikki said and I chuckled.
"Wow. I'm a amazed. I hope you know that we wouldn't do that to Nikki", Zayn said.
"What!?" We all said at the same time.
"Yeah. We already know she not a whiny, crying, baby. That's what the tests are for", Niall said.
"So I could've asked her out and you wouldn't have done anything?" Liam asked in disbelief.
"Yeah. I mean we only did it to Lillian because we didn't know her", Louie said and I looked at him.
"What'd you guys do to her?" Nikki asked.
"Lots of things. One time...." Zayn started.
"Please don't", I laughed out but he continued.
We finished the night off with stories of when Harry and I first started going out. I laughed but Harry didn't. At all. He smiled occasionally but that was all.
We stayed up for another hour and then we all went to bed early since tomorrow is the reaping. Nikki slept over and slept on my couch. My nerves started coming back as I tried to drift off in an uncomfortable sleep.
Harry. Harry, are you all right. Harry say something. Cmon Harry, don't leave me", I weeped
Harry lay down in the tall grass, a little ax was lodged into his arm and there was a cut on his forehead with blood spilling out of it.
No matter how much I beg and pleaded he wouldn't wake up. I heard a boom signaling that someone has died. I burst out in even more tears and someone had to pry me off of him and take me away. Harry was dead.
I woke up breathing heavy. I was sweating a little. The image of Harry dead was still I my head. I heard a tiny snore from Nikki on the couch and I relaxed a little.
I looked at my alarm clock and saw that it was 2 in the morning. I needed to go back to sleep but I was scared. Scared of the dream that would come next. I decided to go check if Harry was still alive, even though I was positive he was.
I got up out of bed and quietly exited my room. I went down the hall to Harry's door. I stopped in front of it to listen to his snores but all I heard was a voice talking. Was he still up?
I knocked softly and the voices instantly stopped.
"Come in", Harry said and I twisted the knob and walked in.
"Hey. What are you doing up?" He asked.
He was laying on his bed with his computer on his lap.
"I was going to ask the same to you", I said and I saw him smile in the dark. I walked closer to his bed and stood next to it.
"I'm doing some....research", he stated and I saw that he was watching the Hunger Games.
"Nightmare. What are you researching?" I asked and he didn't answer.
There was a short silence and it came to me. There conversation earlier about telling her about the news. It was me. Harry's researching the Hunger Games, for something and he's been acting just as weird as I have. He's volunteering for Carson and I know it.
"Harry...."
"You finally figured it out?" He asked in a soft tone that for some reason infuriated me. I didn't reply.
"It's about time. I thought it was just going to be an extra surprise for tomorrow", he said in the same tone.
"Harry. What about your family? The boys..." I asked.
"What about your family? Remember you have us", he said.
"Your mom is going to be heartbroken. Your going let your mom watch you die. What about Gemma and Robin. The boys. They all have to watch you die", I said.
"What about you. They would have had to watch you die. What's the difference? Plus it's not like I'm ever going to see them again. Maybe this will make things easier", he said.
My jaw tightened. How in the world was this going to make things better. I wanted to punch Harry in the face right now because of his stupidity.
"What's the difference?" I asked.
"Listen Lillian. You can either spend probably our last few hours together happy as memorable or you can spend your last few hours with me sad", he said.
I scowled at him for stealing my words but he just seemed to find it funny. I rolled my eyes.
"Fine. You win. But is there anything I can do to talk you out of this or change your mind before I forgive you completely", I said. I couldn't believe he was doing this. For no reason either! He shook his head no and I let out a breath.
"Well than I guess you won. Just know even though I might look happy about this I'm really not....anyway. What are you researching the Hunger Games for?" I asked. I just wanted to change the subject.
"Just an idea of what it's going to be like, really", he said still calm.
"Cool. Well I'm going back to bed. I just came here to see if you were alive", I said and he looked at me. "Long story. Anyway, goodnight. You should get some rest we have a big, big, big day tomorrow", I said. Harry smiled and I turned around to leave when he caught my hand.
"Stay?" Was all he said and I looked at him.
I was going to say no but why not. I mean I'm not doing anything wrong and it's not like I'm going to ever get to do this again. I nodded my head and he pulled back the covers and scooted over .
I laid down next to him my head on his chest. I kinda curled up by him as he covered me with the blanket and then I had that feeling again. Like I was safe. Like nothing was going to hurt me. I soon fell asleep on his warm body.
I had that dream again but this time Harry was here to comfort me and I went back to sleep. I felt him play with my hair as I went back to sleep again. I wonder what the heck is going to happen in that arena.
