Pressure

[2] Jocelyn

Sarah looks at you,

Disgusted,

Worried,

Appalled.

Why are you eating so much?

You give the same skipped meal excuse,

But you know soon it won’t work.

You need to start eating dinner,

She mutters,

Before slowly biting an apple.

But you can’t help but eat,

Hunger,

Cravings,

Worry,

They all make you eat.

But if Sarah knew,

That you are pregnant,

You would no longer be popular,

Admired,

Or pretty.

She and the other girls would abandon you,

Desert you,

Leave you.

And then you would be like everyone else.

You spot Katie walking to a table,

And you can’t help but be rude.

She was thin,

Skinny,

Pretty.

But you would be fat,

Huge,

Ugly,

In a matter of months.

You aim your anger at her,

Because you’re jealous.

You hate her,

Because you’re jealous.

You want her to feel bad,

Because you’re jealous.

Her tray is empty,

Except for an apple,

And water.

What happened to the cookie she had the other day?

She looks at you,

Stuffing your face.

And for a moment,

You stop.

What are you staring at, Anorexic?

Sarah and the other girl’s snicker,

Laugh,

Tease.

While Katie looks upset.

Other kids notice and begin to laugh,

But you don’t regret your comment.

Instead,

You stand up,

And stare at her thin,

Tiny,

Body.

You desperately wanted that,

But you couldn’t have it.

She watches,

As you pick up her water,

And unscrew the bottle cap.

You ask her if she thinks she’s pretty,

But she doesn’t respond.

You dump the water,

Over her head,

Over her shirt,

Over her pants,

Until she’s soaked.

You tell her she’s ugly,

Repulsive,

Fat.

She drops her tray,

As the whole cafeteria is focused on you two.

Tears stream from her eyes,

And she runs out of the room.

You sit back down at the table,

As kids cheer,

Laugh,

Join.

But you no longer feel satisfied.

Instead,

You can’t help think,

That soon,

That,

Will,

Be,

You.