[10] Jocelyn

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On the way home from the doctors,

You saw Katie and Aiden on her porch.

You were happy,

That they finally were talking.

But you couldn’t be happy for yourself.

You sit on your swing,

Staring out into the night.

The stars twinkle,

And the moon sparkles.

But instead of being pretty,

To you,

The night is horrible.

It’s filled with darkness,

Sadness,

And loss.

Your whole life,

You’ve been trying to fit in.

You wanted to be accepted.

So you changed yourself,

Bullied others,

And lost yourself.

But when you got pregnant,

It changed everything.

But it was for the better.

You changed yourself,

Were kind to others,

And found yourself.

Being accepted by society,

Was like waving a steak in front of a dog,

But only letting it have a lick.

It could never get the whole thing.

Just like people could never really be accepted.

They could think it,

Imagine it,

And even believe they fit in.

But truly,

They never really could.

Because the idea of fitting in,

Is only a mirage.

Everyone was their own person.

Each individual,

Is unique,

Original,

Matchless.

People are like a puzzle,

That has pieces that can never fit.

So as you rest your head in your hands,

You ask yourself who are you now?

Nathan sits down,

On his swing beside you.

His hand reaches between the space between you,

And his fingers find yours.

It feels like the day,

You told him you were pregnant.

When you were only friends,

And everything was so simple.

But now things were reversed.

It was night,

You know you love him,

And things are so complicated.

Mark left today,

He smiles up at the moon,

And you know he’s letting go.

You squeeze his hand,

Because you know it will be okay.

And Paige woke up.

You tell him you want him to visit her,

With you tomorrow.

You didn’t know her that well,

And neither did he,

But you had becomes friends over the few months,

You had shared at your lunch table.

What’s wrong?

He squeezes your hand,

And stares into your eyes.

They sparkle from tears,

And you stare at the moon,

Like he had moments ago.

If he could let go,

So could you.

You put your hands on your stomach,

And tell him the news.

You,

Lost,

Your,

Baby.

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