Cut to the beat

Cheer Team

Reality came crashing down on Patrick and Ellen the next week. They were home, and Ellen's leave from set was up. Patrick had been home a few days prior to her, filming extra scenes. But today was Ellen's first day back, and it was hitting like a whirlwind.

"I'm so glad you're feeling better," Kate hugged Ellen as she stepped into prospect studios behind the gates.

"Oh Kate thank you," Ellen hugged her back, giving a gentle smile. She was taking things slow, going back into her routine.

"It's been a bit lonely out here, since Sandra and I don't have a third drinking buddy, ya know," Kate teased, walking down with Ellen towards the trailers. Ellen laughed,

"Katie too high and mighty to do a tequila crawl with you two? How sad," She giggled. Katie could be fun, and was often kind, but when it came to off set fun she wasn't one to be there unless T.R was. Especially not parties where being drunk was basically demanded.
Ellen turned into her trailer, waving Kate goodbye before going inside. It was all the same as before. Having Patrick out meant she had a bit more space and was highly organized but a part of her missed the clutter he brought. The room had changed. It no longer smelt like Patrick, it no longer felt like him. It was empty. Ellen sat on the bed, putting her purse down and just sitting for a second. She needed to collect her thoughts. This emptiness, made her think about her and Patrick as a couple. Ellen didn't know what it was but something in her was telling her to get used to the emptiness. Life without him, but she loved him, and she knew that. Why did everything seem to point to leaving him?

"Hey," Patrick opened the trailer door and knocked on the inside of it. "Ellen? They need you in makeup," He called. Ellen snapped up, taking a deep breath. Maybe she was just over thinking, like always.

--

Patrick leaned over Ellen as they watched the scene unfold across from them. She could feel his breath across her neck as he moved closer.

"Ellie," He whispered, trying to get her attention. He had spent the entire day being a tease, but Ellen didn't seem too far into it. It was actually starting to worry him, normally she'd be teasing back. Or even at her worst Ellen would acknowledge him.

"Pat- not now," Ellen squirmed, moving away. Patrick stepped back, his hand resting on her shoulder.

"You tired? I know you could be, it's okay to take a rest-" he cooed gently, knowing she was still feeling the emotional backlash of the miscarriage.

"Shut up!" Ellen hissed as he spoke, her eyes dark, like daggers. Patrick stepped back and played with the cuffs of his lab coat, quiet now. He looked around set, mostly people had ignored the scuffle. They had been extremely quiet, considering Katie and Justin having a scene across from them. Patrick bit hip lower lip, wondering if anyone had said anything to her about her "illness". Shonda had just told everyone that they both got the same bug, and they stayed out to get better.

"We have you two covered, you can go off to lunch now." The director came and told them. Ellen nodded, saying a curt thank you before walking off. Patrick followed, he was weary of being screamed at but this wasn't his Ellen.

"Ellen. Talk to me," he cornered her behind a wall, secluded. Ellen bent over, taking deep breaths. She tugged at her scrubs, feeling overheated. Gently Patrick put his warm hands on her small shoulders, squeezing to calm her down.

"I'm-im having hormone surges and it's bad because there's a lot of people and it's just and I don't need you to help me so go!" She yelled at him, batting his arms away. Patrick stepped back, but looked at her. His gut fell, she was in pain. Ellen was hurting all over still, and he felt so bad. She had been strong a few weeks ago in Boston, but it was different she had Maureen, and her family. Now it was just her, and it felt like it was never ending. Patrick could never tell if she was in psychical or mental pain or frankly, both.