Cut to the beat

Worry with me

"What is that?" Patrick asked quietly, walking into the bathroom. Ellen's eyes watered and she set it down next to her. This was bad, really bad. She felt like she was sneaking in after a night of partying.

"Ellen...you're?" Patrick picked it up, before Ellen could snatch it from his hands. "You lied? You lied, you were late,"

"I kept thinking it would come, fuck Patrick, don't say anything. I'm freaking out and I don't need you making it worse."  Ellen snapped, getting up. Patrick's palms grew sweaty, a pregnancy ? He wasn't even divorced yet. This was all bad everywhere.

"When did you get the test?" He asked, anxiously pacing. She could have been seen if she went anywhere, her assistant wouldn't keep her mouth shut probably- oh god if someone on set saw-

"My sister bought a bunch when I bought the house. In case. It was a stupid little thing she thinks everyone should have- anyway, so this might not be right. Okay. It's old," Ellen put her hands on Patrick's shoulders as he grew more worried.

"That's a little comforting but you're late. Ellen, it has to be right," Patrick let out a deep breath, hands running through his messy dark hair. "Look. I'm going to go home, and ask Jill to push the divorce forward. You stay here and let's just weigh our options-"

"Options? Patrick...I'm not that comfortable with the idea of abortion. I support the right for its existence but, you know I was raised Catholic, I couldn't..." Ellen hung her head, feeling ashamed. "I know I don't have a good connection to god but my family does. I was raised partially by a nun too you know...they don't, welcome it as much as I do. Secrets don't do well when God gets involved..."

"Oh no I wasn't, God I sound like an ass. No Ellen, your choices. It's something you need to think about. I don't want to influence you, or do anything. The only part I have in this is being a father, which I will be if you allow me to be. You don't even have to do that. If you want me in, I'm in. If not, I'll go. We have to talk about a lot of things. Like the show, Shonda, our publicists. If I can accept any movie deals..." Patrick sat on the tub edge, looking up at Ellen. "We also have 9 months to figure our lives out. So you can wait. That's why I said, I can go. "

Ellen dropped to her knees, shaking. She felt so many things inside her, she felt like bursting. She leaned against Patrick's legs, sighing. Comfortingly he stroked her hair. He felt so bad for her, knowing this was a lot of pressure on her.

"I don't want to be alone..." Ellen mumbled, tears leaking out. She was so scared. Patrick hummed softly, dropping down beside her, holding her to his chest. He had so many things to ask her but today was not the day to ask them.

"You won't be Ellie, you've got me, and our baby," Patrick kissed her forehead, his palm resting on her stomach. It was flat, flat as it had ever been. Ellen closed her eyes, feeling his soft, warm hands. They sat together for hours it seemed like, processing.
****

Patrick pulled the covers around Ellen, kissing her gently.

"Paddy...can you stay again?" She asked, green eyes wide in the dark night. Patrick shook his head,

"El, the press will get suspicious I need to see Tal." Ellen turned her head, she understood, too well. "Hey, no. Ellen I love you and our baby-"

"Stop. Stop calling it our baby. I'm not ready for that. Please."Ellen begged, her voice cracked, broken. "You're being so nice and so supportive, I can't take it. Patrick something will have to be done you know. I'm married, you're divorcing still, you have a daughter, I have family who will hate me if I divorce."

Patrick sighed, his hands running through his hair. He knew she was being hysterical and nothing he could say would help it.

"Something will have to be done? Ellen! You already said no to abortion and I will stand by you on that. Go to sleep, relax. I love you, no matter what you do." Patrick kissed her again, pulling the blankets up to her. Ellen let out a cry, turning to muffle herself with a pillow as he left.