Accidental ▷ Jerrie

01

Perrie : 2 months earlier

I stand by the kitchen bench, stirring my Hot Chocolate and looking at the empty white wall in front of me.

Today was exactly the same from the day I turned 18. Another day and yet I haven't even told my mother the truth.

But what could I do? It's been over 3 years and not once have I had the nerve to say a word. I guess I was just afraid. She's my best friend. I can tell her anything. Just this.

That all along I haven't been loving the boy who she and my dad expected to marry. My mom's just too close to me. I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life with her holding a grudge.

I don't want that. I loved Luke. Honestly he has to he the sweetest boy on earth. I just don't love him the way I was expected to. He's my bestfriend.

And as much as wanted to fall for him and make my parents proud. I failed. Accidental I guess is the right way to explain it...

I accidentally fell in love with Jade Thirlwall. Out of all my friends. It had to be her. The one thing my mother would never say yes to.

Was there something wrong about being in love with the same gender, my best friend. The girl I've basically living my whole life with?

I just - fuck. My whole life is just a fucked up game off lies, secrets and unapproved relationships.

Taking a deep breath I gave out a little shriek as I felt a hand touch me. I zoned out of my thoughts and found myself beside the blonde boy.

"Hey," he smiled "you ok?" he asked, a handful of worry in his blue eyes.

"Yeah," I answer "totally. Everything's great. You just freaked me out."

"No besides that," he spoke "I came down like 2 minutes ago. I found you stirring your drink and up till now you were. But you kinda spilt it." he chuckled.

I looked at him confusingly then turned to the bench. He was right. I did spill my drink. In front of me was a puddle of Hot Chocolate.

"Oh," I sigh " I'll clean it up." I said as I turned to the sink and grabbed the cloth. Walking back, he stopped me and layed his hands on my shoulder.

"It's ok," he smiled "go watch some TV. I'll clean it up."

"But -"

"Please?," he begged "for me."

I rolled my eyes and gave up, handing him the cloth and ending up laughing, "Fine you win."

He laughed and started cleaning up as I walked to the couch and threw myself on.

"So what were you thinking about?" he asked.

"Huh?" I say.

"The precious time you spent standing her and staring at the wall?"

"Oh," I say "It was just my mom. Nothing serious." I cough.

"Nothing serious aye?," he said "everytime you think about Debbie it'a always just bad thoughts."

"Well that's a day in the life of Perrie Edwards for you. For a useless blonde press 1, for a hopeless romantic press 2, for councelling press 3 and for -" I put my hands in my head and felt tears leave my eyes.

"Pez." Luke sighed.

I sit up on the couch and let my tears run down my face, horrible shit running through my mind as Luke took a seat beside me and took my hands away.

He cupped my face and wiped my tears away with his thumbs as he looked me in the eye, "You are not useless," he started "that's one thing. Never have I seen a girl as strong and fearless as you. Secondly I'd like to say that you're not a hopeless romantic. You are one of the most caring and loving people I know. When I see you with Jade it's like relationship goals that every teen would want. And third," he smiled "you have no need for councelling. Perrie you are far off from a fuck up."

"How do I know you're not lying?"

"You know I'm not. I don't play with feelings. Most certainly you. I've known you since we were babies. You can be a warrior but everyone's heart is vulnerable. And as fucking fluff as that sounds it's true."

I laughed and shook my head, "I just can't live like this anymore. Why can't it be the way I always dreamt it would be?"

"Sometimes you need to face reality before you can have it your way."

"Shakespeare," I say "are you in Luke's brain?," I joke "I ask that you leave immedietly."

We laughed and sat in silence.

"Why don't you get dressed and we can go have breakfast with Poopey? Sound good?"

"Feels good." I answer.