My Love Was Louis (l.s)

Thirty; Return

After our final good bye's to our friends, Liam, Taylor, and me were on the plane back to New York City. Taylor quickly fell fast asleep while Liam and I conversed casually. I couldn't pay much attention to him though because I kept thinking back to Louis. It was like Louis constantly stole my thoughts that I could never focus on anything else but him. I thought it was weird, like something was wrong with me.

I had checked my phone and scrolled through some social media. I noticed that people kept commenting on a picture rudely. I remember comments such as "fag" and "you homo's should die". I had winced and Liam looked over to see what I was being engrossed in. He saw the comments and frowned.

"I wish people weren't like that. It makes me feel unwanted." Liam said, revealing a secret that he had kept.

"Are you...?" I had asked. Liam smiled and then looked down at his hands nervously. He contemplated in his head for a few moments before shrugging.

"I'm not going to label myself but one thing I know for sure, kissing boys is pretty sweet. More specifically, Zayn hottie Malik." He said while his cheeks reddened as he realized what came out of his mouth about of my best friends.

"Oh...yeah. Um, he's pretty hot...um, I guess." I tried to agree but it was Zayn. I saw him as a best friend. Even though I was willing to kiss him, I still don't think there would be anything more than platonic friendship with him. Which was why I was super awkward about Liam telling me this. But again, I am awkward about everything. At least I was when I was younger.

"Harry, stop. You don't have to try to agree with me. I know you don't see Zayn that way. Everyone knows this. Just like everyone knows you have feelings for-" Liam continued slowly but before he could finish, Taylor woke up with a start and nearly punched both of us in the face.

"Taylor?" I asked giggling since she had both our heads in her grasps. Taylor wasn't weak, we both knew that. "Yeah, you can let go now."

She yawned and then cradled next to me. I looked up at Liam who shrugged and then went to reading his book.

I sighed thinking about Liam's confession. It was so amazing of him to just say something like that and not be worried about other people's opinions. It wasn't common for people to just come out because everyone knew that being gay wasn't a widely excepted thing. The proof were those comments.

Would if it had been me being called those things?

These types of thoughts ran through my head as Taylor slept on my shoulder. I then looked at Taylor long and hard, studying her features and categorizing what made her beautiful.

I remember making the list in my head. Her blue eyes. And her honey coated skin.

That was all the things I could think of at that moment which I frowned at. I knew Taylor was beautiful, anyone could see that. But I wasn't passionate about it.

I wanted to find her extordinarily beautiful though. I wanted to be able to say she was gorgeous and beyond stunning and that I loved every beautiful thing about her.

But I didn't. So I came up with a solution. I would just pretend that I did until I legitimately did. I thought that this would be easy. How wrong was I.