My Love Was Louis (l.s)

Sixteen; Sorry

Warning: written on the train on my very tiny 5c iPhone. I warned you.
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You could imagine my shock. If you can't, imagine the closest person to you. They mean the most to you and you love them so much it hurts. They're standing right intent of you and you know they are there because you can touch them.

Now imagine that they disposer right out of your grasp. You have the feeling of pain and sadness and believe hag you are never going to see them again.

But then they come back. Into your grasp. Maybe not fully but you can touch them. You feel them and their presence.

Louis was in front of me and all I could do was stare.

If I were to exactly pinpoint when I realized that he was much more to me than a best friend, it was probably at that moment.

He just stayed staring back at me. We didn't move. We didn't talk. Just stared. Louis had told me later that he was amazed at how beautiful I had become.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hold him and I wanted him to hold me. I wanted him to assure me that he would never leave again. Never leave me stranded in an empty space where they only thing I knew for sure was that he was gone. I hated that.

So I cried. And I screamed. And he held me. And I held him. "I'm sorry." he repeated. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I should've never left you. And only do I realize that now. I thought I could be strong. I thought that this is how it was supposed to work. But I realized that nothing makes me feel storm get than you. Harry Styles, you make me strong."

We cried more. I said nothing. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to make sense of it.

"Louis?"

"Yeah, Hazz?" He responded. We stayed sitting on the curb, staring straight.

"I hate you." I said.

"I know."

"Never again?"

"Never again. I won't ever leave you. Never again."

"Good. Because then I'll hate you again and I don't like hating you."

We laughed.