Cube SMP Imagines

HeyImBee

Trigger warning

|| Your POV ||

October, 11, 2013
I felt it all crashing, it was progressive then it fell all at once. I just want to disappear, I want to fly so fucking far away that no one sees me. I'm just not good enough, for anything or anyone.

I'm a broken person. I want for once in my life for something to be more broken than me. I'm tired of this life, I'm tired of looking into the mirror and hating what I see, I'm tired but I can't sleep. I've tried everything to get a moment of silence, a moment of peace. Anything. I want anything. I want an angel.

February, 12, 2014

Then I found her and she found me. She saw what no one else saw, she saw the hurt behind the smile, she saw the real miserable me. She controlled the outrageously dangerous part of me that was slowly caving in.

Her name was Bee. God, how she was my saviour. Her smile slowly broke down my harsh exterior walls and her laugh chipped at the armour around my heart. We went places only we knew. The small bench beside the lake underneath the beautiful willow tree that encased around us and created a new world for us. We escaped the harsh truths of reality.

She was an angel. Her gorgeous eyes shined bright and saw the colours of the world but mine saw the dark grey, the numbed reality of life. Her life was going uphill and mine is going in every direction, a rising here and a downfall there. Her smile was genuine and bright and mine was fake and dull. Bee, why did your downfall have to be me?

December, 29, 2014

"It won't last forever." She told me, resting her head on my shoulder.

"I believe you" I sighed.

I did believe her and everything she told me. I believed the bonfire in her heart, I believed the stars in her eyes, I believed the warmth in her voice. My life rose from a flat line to a sudden jump.

August, 29, 2015

You convinced me to join you in this crazy journey called YouTube. You bought me a laptop and a mic for my birthday and pushed me to record. I put on my headphones and heard your loud and energetic warm voice. We played for hours on end and I was now a YouTuber.

Everyday she would run into my room and pull me into my desk chair and then run into her room. It was something new everyday with her.

November, 17, 2016

I'm so proud of you Bee, a million subscribers and your jumping around and cheering. We ran into the streets and sang and danced our hearts to the music in our heads. We grabbed our skateboards and joined Straub and Peckett. Damn that was a fun night.

Bee you did it. But as slow as it came the faster it hit. You never saw the trail of fire heading your way. She put the light on the darkness and grasped my hand on the cliff, she saved me. I wish I could've done the same to her.

September, 22, 1993 - July, 19, 2017

Where did I go wrong? I tried to protect you from the horrors of the darkness but you wanted to save me. Why couldn't I save you from that car?

The hardest part about losing her is that I didn't get to say goodbye or at least she didn't hear me. I have to live without her, her smile, her laugh, her weird habits, her. They're telling me to fill the void but she's irreplaceable, she is unique and different. She was perfect.

The emptiness is surrounding me again Bee, can you still save me?

It's kinda fucked up don't you think? Your life picked up because of that someone but then life bites you in the ass and takes the light away from you. The darkness won't let me escape. She didn't leave me, she was taken away from me.

July, 19, 2018
It's been a year.

Bee I miss you.

Bee I want you back.

You were my life support but you were taken away from me in a second. I wipe the few remaining tears that were clouding my vision and leaned against the tub. The thick crimson red blood running down my already numb bruised wrists. I grabbed the full bottle of pills and pulled it open. Tipping the bottle over I poured all the pills into my hand until the bottle was empty and pills were scattered around the bathroom floor. I raised my hand to my mouth and swallowed every pill.

My grey vision started to blur and my heart picked up. I sighed and heard my heart beat pounding in my ears. This is it, this is the place I've been dreaming of.  Then the beating slowed to a stop.

"I believe you" I sighed.

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Requested: Zeewbu