Dear Jimin

Chapter 21

"-What do you want me to say? That you had sex and that's why you never replied to any of my calls, any of my messages, and maybe that's why I'm mad at you right now? Ha! 'Mad' isn't even the right term for it, let me call Taehyung hyung and ask him what the term is because unlike other people, he actually answers my calls and is always there when I feel like crap, thanks to you," Jungkook's bag slid down his shoulder, falling to the ground, and that was the only thing that could be heard as the defeaning silence was taking over.

"No way..." Jimin's hands which were on Jungkook's shoulders tightened their grip, and Jungkook couldn't bite back the tears that were now going down his cheeks, but he figured Jimin didn't care if he cried anyway. "No way...Jungkook, nothing happened. We didn't have sex. Nothing...Jungkook, I- You actually think I'd have sex with her?"

"What else do you do when you stay at a girl's house and it's been hours, even past midnight? I waited, hyung. You never came out," the younger one cried somemore and Jimin just had to listen to him as his chest was heaving, as his heart was beating so fast. "You always leave me behind. I'm always here for you, but now that this girl shows up, telling you she's the one sending the letters, you go to her? Forget me like I never existed? Was she there when people made you feel like you weren't worth it?"

"Jungkook, stop it. Just stop it," Jimin felt tears cascading his cheeks and he mentally cursed at himself. "I'm sorry for everything. When I went there, I expected her to explain why she gave me those letters and why she liked me, but she never explained anything. She then wanted to have sex with me, but I left because I knew it wasn't right. Even though she'd still come back and tell me over and over again that it was her who sent all those letters, I wouldn't believe it anymore. It feels different, I just know every single letter I got isn't from her. If it's true that all those letters are from Mina, I already know I wouldn't feel the same way," Jimin had to clear the misunderstanding, clear it and have Jungkook in his arms again because that's where Jungkook belongs.

It was silent and those hands that were on Jungkook's shoulders were now gentle, Jimin trying to ease the tension as he smiled a sad smile, massaging Jungkook's shoulders that were now beginning to get less tensed. Letting one hand set Jungkook's hair to the side to see his face better, Jimin sighed, noticing that the spark in Jungkook's eyes seemed to disappear. His eyes were no longer bright, and although Jungkook's eyes contained the galaxies, it seemed as if the stars were lost.

"Kookie, I'm so sorry. I feel so bad and my chest hurts so much that it feels like I wouldn't be able to take it any longer. Seeing you down makes me feel like I'm not doing my part as your hyung, not doing my part as your friend, and you saying I always make you feel like crap, just- I'm just so sorry. If you want me to disappear, I will. If you want me to distance myself from you, I'll do that. If you need us to have some space, I'll give you that," Jimin whispered, but Jungkook's tear-stained cheeks were already so flushed as he shook his head frantically, gripping Jimin's hands like his life depended on them.

It hurt Jimin saying the words 'hyung' and 'friend' as he looked at Jungkook's eyes. He didn't even know where he stood in Jungkook's life, or what he was to him. Thinking that he'll always be Jungkook's hyung gave his heart a bittersweet feeling.

But he's willing to do anything to let the younger one keep that sweet smile of his.

"But you're more than a friend to me. You're all that I need, hyung. Are you crazy? You distancing yourself from me? I can't live with that. If you hate me that much, just tell me, you don't have to tell me you'll distance yourself from me; if you want me to go, just say it to me right now. You don't have to lie to me," Jungkook sniffed, his eyes still red. "What is it that you want hyung? I'm doing everything that I can for you to accept me."