Dear Jimin

Chapter 5

No one knew.

One thing no one knew about Jimin was the fact that he was depressed.

He'd smile everyday, he'd always try his best to make everyone laugh, always crack jokes here and there, but sometimes, the people who appear the happiest on the outside are the ones hurting the most.

He'd been starving himself, thinking he didn't look good enough, even skipping breakfast once in a while because he thought he'd gain a pound or two if he shoved just a piece of bread in his mouth. At times, when he really took it seriously and he really wanted to shed those 'unwanted' weight off, he'd also skip lunch.

When he'd get too busy doing his homework, he'd forget to eat dinner as well.

But he shrugged those thoughts off.

He was already healthy looking, but whenever he'd reminisce the moment when he was in the boy's bathroom hearing the guys talk bad about him as he was in the cubicle, he wanted to vomit his food out of his system once again.

He wasn't good enough.

He's always been insecure about his looks, particularly due to the fact that people kept on pinpointing it, saying rash comments from every direction, and he really thought he was going crazy. He wasn't always confident about the way he looked, and everyone said so, but to give him benefit of the doubt, he also had times wherein he thought he wasn't too bad. Sure, he thought he had room for improvement, but hearing people insulting him almost everyday just dragged him down and he couldn't help but let his soul get vexed.

He knew he shouldn't be affected and that he should just shake those off, but it was easier said than done.

He felt like dying inside.

~

"Jimin, eat!" Jin said, pouting, as he placed more meat on Jimin's plate. He seriously wanted Jimin to stuff his face with food since Jin didn't see him eat today, and just yesterday, Jimin was too busy picking on his food.

Jimin lost his appetite.

To assure them that he was alright, Jimin let out a chuckle, still reading his book, and he smiled brighter this time, his eyes shimmering. Those dark brown eyes of his were shining, but it wasn't because he was happy - it was because of his tears. But he didn't dare let them land on his cheeks because he wanted to be strong.

He knew he was stronger than that.

Say something! His mind told him, and Jimin panicked. Jin was looking at him expectantly, wanting to see Jimin take at least one bite of that delicious bulgogi he ordered for himself awhile ago before coming to school. Jin didn't plan on sharing it since he really loved food that much, but something inside of him ached seeing Jimin just sitting there, not eating anything, but just burying his head in books, and not food. He just finished reading his first book, and now he was reading his second one.

Jimin looked up from his book, adjusting his glasses, which he thought would be good for today because he knew he'd look bare without glasses for that day, so he grabbed them in a hurry before leaving his house.

"I ate breakfast at home, I'm good," Jimin lied, still smiling, and he just wanted to punch himself for lying to them. He didn't want to, considering the fact that he thought of them as brothers, and they were tight like that, but he had to say something or else they'd really doubt him.

Jin furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes having that specific glint to them that made him ĺook serious, and for a second, Jimin thought Jin knew.

Knew that he was starving himself, knew that he was insecure. So insecure.

But it only lasted for a second, and Jin gave him that smile of his as he nodded, before going back to his food, taking a big bite as he chewed on it happily. He was like a squirrel, and he looked so content that Jimin wanted to laugh because happy Jin was cute Jin.

And Jin without his food would be a wild, furious Jin, and no one liked that.

"Are you sure you don't want to eat?" Yoongi asked, worried, and Hoseok pretended to barf because Yoongi was actually worried, and that just didn't seem to click. Yoongi hit him upside the head and Hoseok whined like a little girl, saying that it hurt, making Taehyung laugh, breaking the tension in the air, and Jimin felt thankful because they got distracted for a while, swerving the topic from him to Hoseok and how Yoongi always seemed to successfully hit them with so much force.

Namjoon was having a conversation with Jungkook about his current playlist, and Jungkook was into it, but when he felt the tension hovering over all of them like a cloud, he couldn't help but get distracted, his eyes diverting from Namjoon to the rest of the guys' topic right now: Jimin.

Jimin didn't want everyone to worry about him, and seeing that every single one of them was looking at him now, he felt like an ant, and feeling everyone's eyes focused on him, he just wanted to run away.

Run far, far away.

"I think he's not feeling well," Jungkook cleared his throat, and now the attention was on him, and not Jimin. Now Jimin could finally breathe. The last couple of minutes were starting to eat him alive. Shocked, Jimin also looked at Jungkook as he continued his sentence. "So can we just respect his decision...please?" Jungkook said, referring to Jimin not wanting to eat, and be put on the spot.

Everyone knows how horrible it is when people put you on the spot.

Jungkook and Jimin shared a look, and Jimin could've sworn that his stomach flipped, but he honestly didn't know why. He was thankful, yes, Jimin was thankful, but he just wanted to take Jungkook with him somewhere and just hug the living daylights out of him because Jungkook understood him without him having to explain anything. Jungkook was the youngest out of all of them and there were times where he was noisy and hyper and all over the place, but these days, he's been extra quiet. Jungkook proved to Jimin that eventhough he was silent, he was still listening. He was still observing.

And Jimin didn't need to explain anything.

Everyone stayed silent, nodding their heads in understanding, and, eventually started to mind their own business.

After a while, Namjoon thought he was on a roll and continued making jokes he thought were funny, but weren't funny at all, but that was the joke. Looking at his face was amusing enough, seeing him doing his signature face crump every second or so, and they all laughed like there was no tomorrow.

What made Jimin jump out of shock was someone's hand touching his from under the table.

Without a second passing, he looked down just to see Jungkook's hand resting on top of his, their fingers grazing, touching ever so slightly that Jimin felt the sparks fly once again.

Looking up, Jimin searched Jungkook's eyes for an answer. He was desperately searching for an answer.

Jungkook just gave him a small smile, making the older of the two feel warm, making his heart shake for some unknown reason.

"It's going to be alright," Jungkook whispered, his voice gentle, and as if by instinct, Jimin squeezed his hand from under the table and looked at Jungkook with glistening eyes.

Tears.

Because Jungkook understood.

And he didn't need to explain anything.