Right Imperfections |✔ [Book 1 of Runaway Bride Series]

43. Blame It On Me

When I dance alone, and the sun's beating down,
Blame it on me
When I lose control and the veil's overused,
Blame it on me
What you waiting for?
No, what you waiting for?
-George Ezra, Blame It On Me

McKenna

The bullet was shot at me. The reason Dan was shot was because Gerard was shooting at me.

Dan took my bullet.

"McKenna?" Ellie called me loudly tugging me rudely out of my reverie.

"Yes?" I muttered, absent minded.

"Should I call her?" She asked again and I balked for a moment. "Emily?" She said, arching an eyebrow.

"Oh! Yes. Yes you should. Tell her to come here. Immediately. With Jared." I muttered, fumbling.

"Okay," she answered and hurried out to talk to Emily. Now, I couldn't sit. The pent up energy in my body was ebbing and flowing like a wayward current that sweeps villages in its path.

Dan was in surgery. And the god damned tears rushing down my cheek wouldn't stop even if I wanted to freeze them, they flowed. Like a symbol of my internal grief they continued to leak down the denudations of my face as they dribbled off my skin into Dan's jacket that was wrapped around my arms.

I forgot about the red streaks up my arms and shoulders, the barely there corset top, the red stained bandage on my arm. Everything else was secondary to my senses as I perplexed over Dan's bullet.

He was shot. My boyfriend was shot because of me. I should have been the one with the bullet hole in my body. I should have been the one lying on a hard, cold operating table struggling for my life.

But he took it.

Even when he didn't know the consequences of his actions he stood tall, firm in front of me. Protecting me.

All these notions - love, care, kindness, protection, support were so foreign to me a few months ago and now I was saturated in their gifts. Dan gave me love, he cared for me like no other, he fought for me, he stood up for me, he took a knife and a bullet for me.

I didn't think I had anything else to say to him other than 'I love you' and even if he didn't love me in return, it was okay because his gestures were far greater than any love could profess for me. It was a ginormous symbol of caring and I basked in the unfiltered light of it.

My heart stuttered again as I glanced at the clock. He'd been in there so long. My mind reeled backwards, slipping me into the confines of memories as if preparing me for untold future but despite the tears streaming down my face I prayed to all the gods of all the worlds to save the man I love so I could tell him that I love him.

He deserved to know.

"McKenna." Ellie fortunately interrupted my reverie, "Gerard hasn't gone home yet. Emily and Jared are on their way."

"Okay," I murmured.

"Derek told me there was a police raid at the club so they've detained the familiar faces. He'll keep us informed," she came forward and patted my good albeit blood stained arm.

"Tell him I said thank you."

"I will," she smiled gingerly, "I'm gonna go wait outside for Emily and Jared. I told them to take a cab immediately. I'll go pay."

She hurried out the waiting room after giving me a sympathetic look as she saw the tears rolling down my face.

It will stop. When you see him it will stop. I soothed myself with words of him but nothing seemed to work. My body had a mind of its own and it felt bereft in Dan's absence.