Right Imperfections |✔ [Book 1 of Runaway Bride Series]

41. Brave Or Stupid

When I was aimlessly scouting Wattpad I came across this book of poems and one single line from it stayed with me.

You gather my pieces,

but not to fix it.

You gather it to crush it,

to even tinier bits.

-No More from Burnt, @Resserell

These words call to me and the fact that now I sympathise and empathise with McKenna - since I feel I live in her body - it touches me so dearly. You guys should read her other works - find it in my Reading List.

Thanks,

Love, S

On a different note - am I the only one who's hopelessly in love with a boy who popped out of my head?
Sigh.

McKenna

Evan was habitual to disappearing that's why he was generally the farthest things from my mind but lately I couldn't stop planning ways of meeting him because of what happened two days ago. Dan and I were dealing and he was more supportive than ever but truth be told I was always scared of him leaving me. Like I would wake up from nightmares that my bed was empty because he left, because he finally saw me for the coward I was and couldn't stay with a cheating whore. But he didn't. But like Evan was habitual to disappearing I was habitual to imagining the worst in people, because I'd always seen the worst of the people in my life.

For a Sunday morning I was much too lonely. Dan was working because his father was out of the country and suddenly he was being thrust into the VP position. We were supposed to have Sunday together, that's what he promised me on Friday but since he'd taken half the day off work despite the Saturday pressure I didn't want to ask him to take another day. If I even so much as hinted that I wanted him to stay, he would call up work and stay. The events from Friday had shaken him up quite literally and he was trying to help me transition out of it, alas, only if he knew how many times I'd transitioned out of it myself he would stop.

But I didn't want him to stop. There was something comforting about being fussed over and doted over and I enjoyed it. When he woke me up with soft kisses over my face, then served breakfast in bed and then warmed the bath for me, all of it made the transition seem like a peaceful process because I wasn't alone anymore.

Yet. Conscience muttered from my left shoulder as I battled my devils again. Dan deserved the truth and I would give it to him and then I would tell him why I wanted to stay with him.

Because I loved him.

That realisation dawned on me when I was kneeling in the elevator thinking of what I'd lost. That pain, it couldn't be real if I didn't love him and I knew I did. Every time his lips brushed my skin I sparkled alive, every time his lips tilted in a smile my heart skipped a beat and every time he looked at me the way he did I knew I was falling deeper into love.

It was such a foreign feeling after the long struggle of my life that I'd completely forgotten how I fell in love with Evan and this, this hit me square in my chest that I couldn't catch myself before I fell.

I smiled and twisted to my side falling right off the side of the couch onto the thick carpet. "Uff," I groaned as my bruised side smashed against the floor. I closed my eyes and took long deep breaths until the stinging sensation subsided and when I was sure I could move again I climbed to my feet and kicked the couch in a hissy fit, heading to the kitchen.

It was just past 10 and I didn't have one thing left to do. Dan left at 8 and since then I'd finished pending paperwork, read an article in The New Jurist, cleaned the kitchen (which is particularly outrageous for me) and folded the laundry. Now I had nothing to do.