Love Buzz - Kurt Cobain Fanfic

Chapter Fifty Four

Two weeks had passed. Kurt was in rehab once more, and I was standing in our bedroom, trying on my wedding dress once more. "So who are you inviting? " Shelli asked, zipping me up. "Honestly Shelli, probably just our little group and maybe a few more. We don't want it to be a huge thing. Ya know?" I told her, my heart pounding out of my chest as I turned to look at myself in the mirror. I sighed in relief when I saw I still looked the same in it and felt just as confident that it was for sure the right dress. "I can't wait to see Kurt's face when he sees you in this thing." Shelli grinned, staring at me as I observed myself. "Yeah, me either. Someone has to get a picture." I smiled, sighing when Kurt's face flooded my mind. I couldn't wait for him to be back home, and I know Frances felt the same way. "Okay, well it still fits, I'm ready to go see Kurt now." I said, immediately trying to get it off. "Jade, relax. Here, I got it." She told me, helping with the zipper. I slid on my normal clothes and couldn't get to him fast enough. I just missed him so much, and each time I saw him, I could tell he was missing me. A half hour later, I was standing in front of the door to his room with Frances latched onto me. Her little face lit up when she realized where we were, and she began squealing from excitement. Kurt must've heard her, because he cracked the door and peeked his head halfway out, making faces at her as she giggled with excitement. She reached for him, kicking her little legs like she just couldn't stand it. I couldn't help but get teary eyed seeing how much she loves him. He opened the door all the way and grabbed her, kissing her mini Kurt face all over. Giggles erupted from her and Kurt was smiling from ear to ear. "There's my little Bean! Have you been raising hell for mommy like we talked about?" He smirked, eying me as he grabbed her. "Hey, you jerk!" I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck and taking in my favorite smell that I had missed so much. "I missed you." He mumbled, brushing a hair out of my eyes. "You have no idea, I can hardly sleep without you." I sighed, burying my face in between his neck and shoulder. He tilted my face up to look at him, his fingers resting underneath my chin. "I'll be home soon, I promise. I'm starting to feel like this is a waste of time anyway." He sighed. My heart sank a little. "Kurt, what do you mean? You can't just give up." I told him, frantically. "I'm not giving up, but this place is shit." He said, clenching his jaw. I could tell he was irritable, so I just dropped it. "I tried on my dress again, it still fits the same." I slightly smiled, trying to change the subject. Kurt's eyes began to twinkle as his little dimples appeared. "I love you, Jade." He whispered. I smiled and brushed his hair back from his face, running my fingers through his mop of hair. I stared at his angelic face for a few moments, smiling at his shy demeanor. He was so damn cute, I couldn't help but kiss him. My lips met his, gently at first. As the kiss grew, he kissed me with more urgency. Fuck, just looking at the man turned me on. And, I suddenly wished we were back at home instead of a rehab facility. He slowly pulled away biting his lip, his breathing slightly heavy. "Fuck this place." He mumbled, slightly curving his lips. "Hey. Cheer up, you'll be out soon. And then I can call you my husband." I smiled, pecking him on his stubbled cheek. Frances was now latched onto him like a little leech, trying to climb up him and reaching for his hair. "Not you, too." He chuckled, trying to stop her. "I'm gonna have to shave my head." He laughed. "No!" I told him, freaking out a little. He grinned and pulled me into his lap. I missed him so much that it was almost as if seeing him somehow made it worse. All I wanted was for him to be home and alright. I rested my forehead against his, imagining the look on his face as he saw me in my dress.
Kurt's Point of View
I was fighting a battle in my mind that Jade barely knew anything about. It was best to keep it that way. I wasn't going to give up. She needed me, and so did the little girl we were holding in between us. If I couldn't fight for myself, then I'd fight for them. God, she was so beautiful when I looked at her that it made me sick to think I was putting her through this with me. She had a light in her that shone brightly in the darkest of times. I admired her for that. She was so strong, with the most beautiful soul I'd ever known. For some reason, she'd picked me and I refused to take that for granted. Every other word out of my little girl's mouth was "dada", and it petrified me to the depths of my soul that I couldn't shake this, that I'd be a horrible role model for her. She deserved the world. They both deserved the world, and it put an ache in my stomach to think I couldn't give it to them. I'd cry every night, up worrying that I wasn't stable enough to be her husband. But, I suppose to her for some reason, it didn't matter what my current state was. She wanted to marry me and I swore I'd give her that no matter what. I swore to myself each time I looked into those big eyes of hers that I'd kick this. I watched her leave that day to head back home to an empty house, a smaller version of me peeping over her shoulder, wondering why daddy isn't coming home too. I layed flat on my back after they left, staring at the ceiling, concentrating on not letting my heart sink in on itself, or wanting to bash my head into the wall. I tossed and turned all night on the hard bed until I made a decision to sneak out and see her. I wasn't sure how I'd do it, but I was going to find a way.