Chapter Twenty Eight

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A few months passed, and Frances was now starting to crawl. Kurt and I were sitting on the floor on opposite sides. "C'mon Frances! Come to mommy!" I cooed as I held my hands out towards her. She squealed and started to crawl in Kurt's direction. "No Frances! Crawl to mommy!" I laughed, shaking my head. "She's such a daddy's girl, Kurt. Look at her. She loves you so much." Kurt smiled and picked her up, then walked over to me and kissed me. As soon as Kurt planted his lips on mine, the phone rang. Kurt answered it. I played peek a boo with Frances while he talked to who sounded like to be Krist or Dave. "Mtv wants us to do a show tonight. I haven't played in awhile so I guess its happening " Kurt mumbled. "Shit, my mom is supossed to be coming over to meet Frances and talk about everything. She swears she's off coke but we'll see." I sighed. "Its okay, i'm sure there are plenty more shows to come. Just stay here with Frances, she'll be more comfortable here anyway." Kurt said as he kissed her little forehead. A few hours later, Kurt was out the door and I suddenly got a strange feeling. "I hope daddy is alright." I said to Frances as she bounced in her swing hanging from the door. I sighed and picked up the guitar. I began singing and strumming a song Kurt and I have been playing together. Frances squealed and started crying. "I know, I know. You want daddy. He'll be home soon. I hope." Time passed, and my mom never showed up. I was beginning to feel uneasy and anxious. Then, an idea hit me. "Frances, how about we go surprise daddy? " I cooed at her. She made some loud noises and bounced even faster, as if she knew exactly what I was talking about. I smiled and began getting ready. I dressed Frances in a Nirvana onesie and put a little yellow bow in her hair to match. I laughed at what Kurt's reaction would be. I headed out the door and straight to the arena where they were playing. It took forever to get there, but I finally reached backstage. "Oh my god, look how fucking cute!" Shelli yelled as she saw Frances. I laughed. "You just missed it, the show just ended." She said as she grabbed Frances from me. "Where's Kurt? I came to surprise him, my mom never showed." I asked, looking around. "He said he'd be right back, I don't know where he went. He stopped the show early too." My stomach felt uneasy. Something wasn't right. "Um, Shelli could you please watch Frances while I look for him? I won't be long." I asked, hesitantly. "Of course, we'll be just fine. Uncle Krist will entertain her." She laughed. "Okay." I fought out a smile as I realized this was the first time I was leaving my daughter. "I love you Frances, be good. I'll be right back, I'm gonna go look for daddy okay?" I kissed her on the forehead and walked away, tears filling my eyes. 'Get your shit together Jade.' I thought to myself as I took a deep breath. I didn't know where to look for him first. But, I began walking down the street and my gut told me to turn a corner. I didn't know why, but I started to run. I saw shaggy, long blonde hair and lanky arm hanging off a bench. Kurt. He was passed out. Tears streamed down my face and my heart sank to my stomach. "Kurt!!!" I screamed, running faster. I made it to him and grabbed his face. "Kurt?! Wake up. Please. Wake up." I yelled, shaking him. Nothing. Then, his eyes flew open. "Kurt, what the fuck?!" I yelled, sobbing. "Oh, wow. Hi, where'd you come from? You're pretty. Can we have babies together?" He slurred, high as a kite in oblivion on heroin. "We already fucking have one, you asshole." I cried, furious. He began nodding out and I didn't know what else to do but sit with him until he was at least somewhat sober. "Jade. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." He cried, finally coming to. "Why don't you tell Frances that when we get back? She's with Shelli. We came to surprise you but instead i find you unresponsive on heroin. You scared the fucking shit out of me, I thought you were dead. Kurt, I thought you were done with this. We have fucking child, Kurt. You can't do this." I cried. He didn't say anything, just sat there and cried. "Its gonna be alright, but you're gonna have to stop this Kurt. " I said, wrapping my arms around him. "We need to get Frances, we'll talk more at home, okay?" I said as he nodded and stood up. When we made it back, Frances was giggling at Dave and Krist as they did stupid dances. "Finally, mommy is back! What took you so..long." Shelli said and then realized that Kurt was shooting up. "Thank you so much for watching her Shelli. We need to go home though, I'll call you tomorrow. Love you." I said as I took Frances and walked to the car, Kurt walking next to me. I put Frances in her carseat and Kurt climbed in the passenger seat. "Dada!" Frances cooed. My jaw dropped. And Kurt turned around in awe and began crying. "Frances, daddy loves you and i'm so sorry." He cried harder. "Kurt, shhhhhh. Lets go home okay?" I said as tears rolled down my face. Frances was wore out from playing with Shelli and the guys and fell asleep on the way home. We put her in her crib and kissed her goodnight efore crawling into bed. Kurt sobbed as I held him close. "Kurt, love its gonna be alright. We'll talk about it tomorrow okay? Just go to sleep and be here when i wake up. Promise? "I asked him, seriously. He nodded. "I love you so fucking much, Kurt." I kissed his forehead and closed my eyes. "I love you and Frances more than anyone could love anything." He whispered. We fell asleep tangled in each others arms.

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