Love Buzz - Kurt Cobain Fanfic

Chapter Forty Three

I put the rest of Kurt's things in his suitcase and zipped it up, sighing. "I'm not ready for this." I mumbled into his chest. "You think I am?" He whispered, not sounding the least bit okay. I hugged him tight, trying to let the tears start flowing just yet. "Look, this will all be over soon. I don't want you to go either, Kurt. I'm gonna miss you so much." I whispered as he kissed the top of my head. We got into the car, along with Frances in her carseat in the back. I turned around and looked at her. She looked exactly like she knew what was happening. My heart broke when I realized the last time we were doing this, she was in my tummy, and now I was pregnant with another child. Doing the same thing. The drive there was silent. Not even Frances made a peep. We were greeted by Debbie when we walked in. "Hi, precious." She said to Frances as she grabbed her and held her as I said bye to Kurt. We stood there, just looking at each other. His eyes looked like a stormy, blue ocean full of hurt and sadness and it broke me. Tears exploded out of my eyes as he pulled me in close to him. I didn't want Frances seeing this but I had tried to hold it back all day. "We'll visit everyday we possibly can, I swear." I assured him. He kissed my belly, then grabbed Frances. "Daddy loves you, Bean. I'll be home soon okay, I promise. Be good for mommy." He kissed her forehead and she layed her head on his shoulder. Kurt had tears streaming down his face and Debbie looked like she were about to burst into tears too. Kurt kissed me deeply and squeezed me tight. "I love you, Jade. Be strong and I'll see you soon." He mumbled, handing Frances to me. "Kurt, you be strong. Don't focus on the bad, focus on the good. Focus on us Kurt. Only the good. Okay? I love you, so much." I replied, wiping tears away. He kissed my forehead, then Frances's, then slowly let go of my hand as he walked away. 'Don't do it Jade, don't do it.' I told myself as I felt more tears about to explode out of my eyes. "Dada?" Frances's little voice mumbled, watching Kurt walk in the distance, then looked up at me. "He'll be back, baby. I promise. We'll come visit him a bunch, okay? I love you, Bean." I kissed her forehead. Debbie was wiping away her own tears and she gave me a hug. "I think we're gonna head home, Debbie. Call me if you hear anything. We'll be back soon enough." I slightly smiled. "Okay, sweetie. You be strong. Bye, Frances!" She said as we walked away. As I put Frances in the car, she hugged her elephant and smiled. "Wanna go see and uncle Krist and aunt Shelli?" I asked her as I backed out of the parking spot. She clapped her hands and I decided that was the best thing to do. I wasn't ready to go back to our empty home just yet. Our minds needed to stay busy. Shelli answered the door and squeezed us both a little too tight, like always. I smiled and she grabbed Frances. "Got any more elephants lately, little elephant queen?" She asked Frances as she grinned. "Dada phant!" She yelled, smiling. We laughed. "Frances, you wanna draw daddy a picture?" I asked her as the idea popped into my mind. I grabbed her some crayons and paper and she went at it, scribbling all over the page. I let her have her fun for awhile, then grabbed a clean sheet and held on to the crayon with her, helping her trace words. Together, I helped her write "I love you Daddy" with an elephant at the bottom and a heart coming out of its trunk. You could tell what it was and what it said, but it was still sloppy, like she had still done it. I smiled. "He'll love it, Frances. I can't wait for you to give it to him." I said, picking it up giving her more paper to scribble on. Shelli walked over and sat next to me. "So, when's this little nugget due?" She asked, putting her hand on my belly. "We actually went to the doctor yesterday. Thank god we got in before today. But, I'm about 4 weeks along." I smiled, looking down at my stomach that was barely pooching. "You think its a boy or girl?" She asked, grinning wildly. "I'm not really sure, honestly. I just hope he or she is healthy. That's all that matters." I replied, looking at Frances who looked exactly like Kurt, drawing all over the paper. She had the exact look on her face that he got while focusing on something. I smiled. I already missed him so much. But, I knew this was for the better in the long run. And I was glad I was gifted with a carbon copy of him who I got to see grow in front of me everyday. I tried to tell myself that things could be so much worse, and that I needed to turn my sad feelings into love to give to Frances. And that I had to be strong, for her sake.