Gold Petals || Dave East (Book 2)

Chapter 37: It is Not the End

Bernice
A Month Later

I walked out of the court house parting ways from my lawyer. Today I went to court for Cynthia pressing charges on me. Luckily, since I've had no prior arrest I just have to pay a fine and pay Cyn for medical fees. That bitch know she could've bandaged that shit up herself. She came in the court room testifying, crying and going on saying I caused her emotional distress. Bitch, please! Emotional distress my ass. I got into my car putting my purse in the passenger seat starting my car. I look at the digital clock in the dashboard seeing I have 30 minutes to get to Manhattan for marriage counseling. I pull off leaving the courthouse.

After a 30 minute drive I get to the office. I walk in, sign in then the secretary shows me to her office. I walk in to see Dave already sitting on the couch on his phone. When he hears my heels clicking he looks up. He gives me a half smile, but I just sit down on the other end of the couch. We really don't talk much unless it's about the kids. I have nothing to say to him. Just seeing Cyn in that court room with her little belly pissed me off. She's really pregnant. Whether it's Dave's baby or not in the end, this shit is unforgivable.

Finally our therapist walks in smiling sitting across from us. "Are you guys excited? Today's the tenth and final session. Obviously if you guys think you need more you can get more, but you're only legally required to do ten. I want to know how you guys feel...Do you think you can get back together at the end of the year or will you get a divorce? If the answer is divorce I hope the sessions at least helped build your friendship back up so you guys can successfully co-parent. So?"

Me and Dave were both quiet probably waiting for the other to answer. "Personally-" Dave finally said. "Even if she wanted to stay together I wouldn't." I looked over at him raising up my eyebrows. "Don't take this as me giving up, but I just wouldn't. I'm not saying I can't and won't act right if she gave me another chance, but I'm just not gonna risk it. I've hurt her enough and I don't like it. That shit hurts me. She deserves better than me. I rather see her happy without me. To me that's real love..being able to say I love you, but I wanna set you free. Get what I'm saying? At this point I just want my friend back. I don't want our kids growing up thinking we hate each other because I know I don't. I know she hates me right now, but I still love her. I'll always love her."

"Do you get what he's saying?" Our therapist asked me. We chuckled because she was mimicking him a little.

"Yeah, I understand. I don't hate him either, I just don't fuck with him right now. I can say I'm not in love with him anymore," I said truthfully. I know that will hurt him, but I have to be honest. "I know he still loves me. Even through all of the nonsense I still knew he loved me. I could see it, but it doesn't change anything." I said chewing on my bottom lip. I could feel myself about to cry. The crazy thing is I've never cried about our relationship ending. Maybe about other stuff, but not that.

I continued, "In my mind this was going to be a forever thing. I thought he would NEVER do me wrong. That's my best friend and he'll treat me right because of that. Maybe my expectations were too high. I think on both ends. We had this false reality that because we were best friends before we'll never hurt each other. That's what a real friend will do, but this is different. This is a marriage. We're going to mess up. We both did. I hurt this man too and I can admit that with no problem. But-"

"But you're realizing maybe we shouldn't have gotten married?" Dave said finishing my sentence. I looked over at him seeing his eyes were watery as well as he looked down. The fact that we both realize that is honestly heart breaking.

"Exactly. How do two people go from best friends to dating then engaged after 6 months. That was all within a year. Then the next year married. We didn't transition properly if that makes sense. We should've taken time to feel each other out on another level. You're taking me who's literally never been single for more than a year. Relationships back to back. Abusive, volatile, insecure, possessive, materialistic, childish relationships. Then you're taking Dave who's only been in one serious relationship and it was in his teen years. A relationship where when one did something the other did it too to get back at them. Tit for tat. You cheat, I cheat. After being single all those years and just having meaningless connections, all of sudden you're ready for marriage? We were running off of lust, excitement and love and just rushed so much."