My love for you is illegal ( boyxboy)

Chapter 6

DAN POV

I wake up with jade snuggled into my arms, I guess she forgot to take off her makeup as her cheek and eyes are smeared with eyeliner and mascara, don't judge me for knowing what they are. I yawn and see Becky peek through the door as usual. She smiles and runs onto the bed making Jade groan and pull the cover up, Jade is not to be messed with in the morning, I would know. Once I tried to wake her up and she screamed at me so I left for the whole day because I was to scared to come back, but it was all fine. I tussle Beckys hair and she crosses her arms putting on a pout, girls ey.

-Time skip-

I'm in the second day of school and I already got lost heading to my classroom, great start to the day. Well the school does have 6 levels and over 300 classrooms so I have a good excuse. I finally see the familiar black matt door and head towards it, my satchel bumping off my side. I open the door to see most of the class already sitting down in chairs and messing around like the monkeys they are. I clap my hands and everybody turns to face me, I look around for phil but he doesn't seem to be here, he's probably late like yesterday. I shouldn't be thinking about him anyway especially after what I did to him yesterday.

The bell rings and I take out my laptop to do the register, ticking off every name apart from Phil, maybe I should cut him some slack and not give him a detention but that would allow me to talk to him. I start off doing some vocal exercises, making them try out accents, and different characters voices. I can already tell that Zoe seems like a very good actor and especially Tyler who's a huge drama queen and I'm pretty sure he's gay, not that I mind.

Creak, the door opens slightly and Phil walks into the classroom, sitting in the corner of the theatre seats and hiding his face in his legs. I couldn't see his face because it was covered by a oversized hoodie but I'm guessing it was like yesterday or even worse. I remember in school when I used to get beaten nearly everyday, trying to hide it from mum and dad who probably wouldn't care anyway but make a huge fuss about how I should stand up for myself. I also remember how much physical and mental abuse I was put through every single day, never did I get a break, except when I was to weak to even go to school and faked being sick.

"PHIL LESTER, DETENTION AT BREAK!" I shout and he nods his head, he's so precious, I just want to tell him that I need to talk to him and he hasn't done anything wrong, well apart from being late but I don't mind. I hear a few sniggers and comments about him which immediately make me want to punch the kids in the face but of course that's illegal and I wouldn't have this job anymore. To be honest I'm surprised I still do after swearing in class like three times but I'm sure the class doesn't give a shit, oops there i go again. I swear it's exaclty like this with children these days always saying "like" or "basically as a sentence filler and it's so tiring listening to them talk but the thing is that they don't even realise they are doing it unless you tell them.

I continue the lesson keeping a close eye on phil who I didn't want to force into any activities, it seems like he had a rough day but Thursday I will get him to take part and show him that maybe drama can be fun. The rest of the lesson we mess about and laugh but still doing drama at the same time, I can tell this is going to be a fun year.

-End of lesson-

Everybody floods out apart from Phil who stays seated and takes out a book, I guess this detention doesn't really effect him, he's probably used to it considering he's late everyday to school. I clear my throat but Phil still doesn't flinch or even give a reply, his brain is in the book and everything else is not real for now. I walk closer to him but he still gives no sign of noticing me, this is exactly like me when I was younger, hating every teacher.

"Phil, I need to talk to you?" It came out as more of a question then I intended and phil shook his head in disagreement. I sat down next to him in the chair and sighed, this is hopeless but I never give up. I asked once again and phil let out a choked sob, curling up more in his chair and hiding his pretty face. I carefully pull down his hood slowly and he makes no signs of discomfort or for me to stop so I continue, I still cannot see his face as its buried in his knees. I brush my hand through his silky soft hair, I wonder what he's thinking right now. Phil slowly lifts his head up and nudges my hand as a sign that he doesn't mind and I should continue stroking his hair, this is wrong to be so affectionate with a student.

The sight horrifies me as I see a art work of bruises staining his delicate face, I trace my thumb over the especially large one of his cheek bone and he flinches but doesn't say anything. Though I can tell he's immensely scared by being this close to me as he's literally shaking under my touch and his bottom lip with a red scar across it s trembling. Silent tear drops fall from his eyes and onto my hands which are still tracing over his damaged skin, whoever would hurt him must be a idiot.

I take my hand back once I remind myself his is wrong, my finger gently tracing his jaw as I let go and hold my hands together so I'm not tempted to do anything again.

"You need to take part in drama more or else you will fail and I'm sure you don't want that" I say and look him in his eyes but he turns away before I can read any emotions. As much as I know he hates it, he has to participate due to the rules of the government and I do not want to be the one responsible for his failure, especially as the first parents meeting is in a month and I don't know how I feel facing parents who probably want their child to pass. Before this school I went to a quite good one, where attending cost around £20,000 per year and the teachers and parents where extremely strict but the problem was that the kids were nothing like that. You would think they are really clever and posh but they weren't at all, probably because they didn't have to be clever or special to get in but just have their parents pay for them. So when I tried to control the class they wouldn't listen and when this boys parents came in who were very rich and snobby, when I told them the news of their son failing drama GCSE, the lady slapped me and started hitting me with her heel till somebody called the police and I went to hospital to get a few stitches, well I couldn't fight her back could I!

"Why? Dramas stupid and my mum forced to take it" phil says sternly and checks his phone, when I hear a little beep from it probably signalling a message.

PHILS POV (warning abuse, could be triggering)

"Your gonna get it real bad today you little faggot, love Gary x" I could almost hear that sickly sweet tone he would use.

DANS POV

"It isn't stupid, it's really fun if you get into it phil, I don't want you failing and having to explain why to your parents" I reach to pat his knee but before I even get halfway I pull back and restrict myself, I just can't keep my hands of him for some reason, not in a rude way but the little touches that make him hopefully feel better. The bell rang and that signalled the end of break and time for the next period, guess my efforts weren't that great, but he makes it so difficult to communicate.

"Not like they give a shit!" Phil swore and grabbed his backpack before running out the classroom and although I stood up and muttered his name I couldn't let him be late to his next lesson. I slumped back into the chair and waited for the next class to enter but one thought never left my mind, what can I do to help him?


-At home-

I walk out the kitchen with some grapes in my hand which I stuff into my mouth like a hamster, making it extremely hard to chew. I see my phone beep on the counter but I don't bother picking it up as it's probably not important, plus I'll reply later, probably...

"DAD! I have to show you something!" Becky screams and hatches onto my leg, making it difficult for us to move anywhere in fact. I nod and she grabs my hand leading me to her room, when she opens the door I see another little girl with her, aww isn't that sweet she's so sociable already. I'm glad somebody in this family isn't going to be a out cast, not being mean to Kyle but he's not the most popular kid in the school.

"Hello, mr howell, I'm beckys friend, Jessica" she shakes my hand politely and from what I can tell she comes from quite a rich family, looking at her Chanel pink frilly dress and Gucci cardigan and wow I thought my kids were spoilt! But she seems lovely anyway and as long as she isn't mean to Becky I'm fine with it.

"Hello Jessica are you Becky's new friend?" She nods and gives Becky a huge hug both of them giggling uncontrollably. I laugh and close their door leaving them to play with their over priced barbies and dolls. Geez when I was a child I had a toy car and crayons, that was the extent of my fun.

"JADE!" I shout but no reply, was she really stupid enough to leave Kyle with a 8 year old? I shout her name again but still no Jade, maybe she went to the shops or something? I walk downstairs to grab some food and get fatter by the minute but YOLO, ironically obviously. For some reason Kyle's at the door slamming it shut aggressively, what up with him I wonder? I give him a 'what the hell man?' Look but he shrugs his shoulders and head to the living room. He has his occasional mood swings, probably girl problems, I would have done anything at his age to have somebody that loved me properly and I would look after them like they mean the world to me.

Luckily I found jade, she's perfect with her thick strawberry blonde hair which smells like Cherries and sweets. She's got great hips and a really nice figure, but I don't really mind what her body's like because I fall in love over personality not appearance, appearance is just a plus. But for some reason I don't feel like she is my soulmate, I can't explain why but I don't feel a connection so strong that I would never let go. The idea of soul mates never occurred to me till my good old friends Louise and Harry met each other, they are practically the same person and they can spend hours on end with each other , not even talking but cuddling and being content with what they have. They get in so well it's crazy and I could not imagine what ones life would be if they lost the other, honestly I think they are each others half's, I believe in the legend that once people had two heads, 4 arms and four legs and when they got split apart they got lost and had to search for their perfect partner and they are so lucky they found theirs, because for me it's to late. Saying that sounds mean but I honestly love jade loads and I wouldn't change my life for the world.

I take out some left over pizza and out it in the microwave to warm it up, I don't exactly use my money to its full extent. Waiting for the ping from the microwavee, I receive a message.

"Sorry Hun I'm late, Kelly was is a car crash and I rushed to hospital xxx." it's from Jade telling me that her younger sister got in a car crash. I text her back saying its fine and hopes she gets well soon. I don't actually care about Kelly because she tried to kiss me at New Years and to run away with her but of course I has a loving family who i am not going to leave behind. I never told Jade because i knew she was extremely close with Kelly and decided to give her another chance, luckily she never tried anything again, in fact she barely spoke to me.

Ping, goes my pizza and I take it out the microwave to see Kyle standing right in front of me, scaring the shit out of me.

"I'm so fucked up dad" he cries and sits on a bar stool chair, with his hands combing through his hair and removing the few tears from his eyes.

"Why do you think that?" I ask and kiss his hair, which makes him push me away and give me an evil stare. I guess he's really serious about this, plus he's not a baby anymore, well he'll always be a baby to me. I guess it's a parent thing to sometimes treat their children like adults and tell the to grow up but sometimes we are like, your still a child, just can't make our minds up.

"I had sex with the new girl in school, I took her virginity dad, her fucking virginity after she joined a two weeks ago!" Kyle bangs his fists angrily on the table making him hiss from the pain and hold his red hand. Kyle screams into his sleeve, I guess he didn't really tell anybody till now.

"Why did you do that? Do you even like her?" I ask gently, using a soft voice not to upset the poor boy more than he already is. He nods, looking disappointed with himself, you should never be ashamed of who you love.

"She's amazing dad, she's really nice and we clicked ever since I met her, but she was drunk and not able to talk and I took her to the bathroom and she told me she never had sex but she really liked me and me being into her, I did" More tears stream down his red cheeks and it seems he hasn't finished yet because he's got that look that he wants to explode.

"She hasn't spoke to me since that incident 2 days ago, and I heard she's dating bloody Steve, he's going to probably rape her or some shit, he's a bad person dad and I really care about her, what do I do? I mean I did kind of take advantage of her but she wanted it!" He starts to fiddle with his hands and biting his sleeve, a sign of nerves, well if law taught me anything its that if they are wrestless with their hands or they are looking anywhere but my eyes, they are probably guilty. I don't really wanna tell him that what he did clarifies as rape so I just hope she will keep her mouth shut and doesn't tell the police.

"You should speak to her, get her alone and explain it to her, if she refuses don't let her go and mostly don't let Steve do anything because you will regret it in the future" I say and smile at him who seems to have cheered up since our little confession chat.

"It was at the party after when i didn't want to have sex with Kate, but i was kind of drunk and we just did it" He confessed and i was kind of angry at Kyle for getting drunk and going to that party but i remeber being 13 the first time i got wasted really badly and had to go to hospital.

"Well i'm gonna leave you to it, im angry but you need to fix this yourself, your nearly a adult and i can't be the one telling you how to live your life till you die" i say sternly looking Kyle in the eyes, who just nods and gets up leaving the room with a crisp packet in his hands. See there I go again with the your an adult but two minutes prior he was still my baby boy.

I go into the living room and sit on the leather sofa, finding the remote and continuing watching death note. Jade said I was to old for it but I'm still mentally a child.



PHILS POV (warning abuse, it could be triggering)

"You fucking little faggot, coming home an hour late, late because you were choking on cock, were you?" Gary shouts at me with a knife hovering dangerously closely to my face. I try to run up the stairs but he grabs my leg just in time before I can escape his alcohol ridden breath. My face bangs along the first three steps, making my jaw crack and Gary smirk at my pain.

"Aernt you going to reply to me, gay boy?" Gary says sternly as he lifts me up by my tie and chokes me till my face in blue and purple, making me look a fish out of water. I nod knowing that saying no would just make him angrier, he laughs whispering a "I knew I was right, faggot", than he punches me violently in the ribs, making one crack and I'm sure of it, my hand reaches to touch it but that only causes me to be in more pain, luckily it will heal in a couple of days and only cause me discomfort and diffiuclty breathing but its fine i've learnt to deal with it. I'm lying on the floor with Gary's foot kicking in to me nonstop, my body curls in a ball with every kick but he has no mercy, no heart, no soul to show him right and wrong. Because in his opinion being gay is the worst thing in the world and i must be satans child or some crap he belives. His eyes are flooded with anger and sadness but why he is sad I have no idea apart from that he takes it out on his step-son. Maybe it's because of his dead son, maybe it's because he's drunk?

"Aww I never knew little fairy boy self harmed, would you like me to help you out with that?" Gary cackles and I notice my bracelets have rolled up my arm, exposing my scar filled wrists. He's found out my biggest secret, one I have hide for so many years and now he's going to use it against me. He's used a knife on me before but now it's just going to add to the list of things he can tease me about. What he doesn't understand is that it only helps me when I'm the one doing it to myself, that way it doesn't hurt but brings me peace, I can't explain why it's different to him doing it. I guess some people think it's the same as another person hurting you, but it really isn't, when you do it yourself it feels special and like your alive and breathing finally because all the emptiness leaves.

He takes out the knife he previously had in his hands and throws my top off, yanking it roughly over my head and arms, onto the dirty carpet which has blood splurges covering big patches and then a couple streaks up and down the wall from previous events. Gary laughs and brings the sharp knife up to my bruised, spiny back. I feel the knife go in lightly at first but then he pressed it in with force causing me to let out a shriek which made him draw a line vertically down, I saw the droplets of blood slide down my back and into the carpet which transformed from cream to red. I'm trying to keep in the sobs but the knife is deep into my back and he knows he's breaking me slowly.

"Fuckin dare scream again you little bitch!" Gary shouted and got out some thick grey tape which he ripped off a strip with his yellow broken teeth, harshly slapping the tape over my mouth making sure I couldn't scream. And it worked my loud shrieks became mere squeaks and my chances of escape became even smaller, I remind myself that this is the reason I want to die.

I tried to stand up straight and run away but the pain in my back made me fall to my knees and cry, I hear a laugh and I know who it is enjoying my pain and silenced scream. Gary once again brought the blood covered knife to my gory back and cut another sharp stinging line down my back, the liquid spreading and rolls down my back in all directions, some trickling down my nose and forehead, mixing with the salty taste of tears. I could barely keep consciousness by now as I lost even more blood with every cut Gary made onto my pale skin, I think he's done maybe ten smaller and sharper ones by now which pierced the skin immediately but I've lost count. My knees and arms gave up making my fall further to the ground, so I was lying flatly on my stomach with no more energy to even live. I would rather die then go through this pain anymore, maybe if I stopped being such a baby I could finally escape this horrible life but I'm to scared, to scared of feeling absolutely nothing. Have you ever thought about death? What actually happens, is it like sleeping but with no dreams and your just gone, your soul is no longer in you and you just sleep for eternity, the thought frightens me.

"Perfect" Gary whispered shortly standing up and wiping his blood covered hands onto his jeans, making them slightly more orange and damp. Those were the last words I heard before I passed out on the cold, stale floor. With blood covering every inch of my body and tears drying halfway down my face.




( hey hope you enjoy this and I've got another added point of view coming soon how exciting!" You guys and your voting is amazing!!!

Unfortunately u didn't get to 25 votes but it's fine cos it's only a day later! People have been asking why I don't update more regularly it's because then I wouldn't have enough chapters to keep going at a normal pace as I'm such a lazy asshole.

Keep voting and commenting :)))

This is quite a long chapter I'm happy:)))