Forbidden

Alone

You are my sunshine......My only Sunshine...Please don't take..My Sunshine.... away..

Jack POV

I stood in front of the elegant casket before,it was closed due to what i was told the crash had really hurt her..I wanted to see her,I wanted to see my Ma's beautiful blue eyes,her soft brown hair and she sweet smile. I wanted to hear her tell me not to cry she'd be back in a week like she would tell me when i was little when she'd drop me off with my baby sitter. I wanted to be held in her comforting arms as she hugged me telling me how much she loved me...but what now? It was gone, lost behind a box of wood, lost in nothing but the still frame memories that filled my mind now as i stood in a Dark suit and tie, mourning the Radiant easy going Mother i had. I was wrong i was standing here, it wasn't right that i had to stand here and have People tell me It will get better, or tell me they're sorry for my loss with they're fake empathy.I felt the tears stream down my face as i stood looking at her coffin, i didn't bother to stop them,I wasn't like if i wiped them away they would stop. no if i wiped them away more would come so what was the point? i felt a comforting hand on my shoulder,i glanced over to see my Uncle Anthony,he gave me a weak smile and a gentle squeeze on my shoulder. He didn't bother to say anything cause he knew it wouldn't help. The scar that formed would never heal and he knew it, for the women in the casket was my whole life, there was barley a moment in my life my Ma wasn't there to share the moment with. she was My Sunshine.

More solemn Family members came by checking on me, but none of them spoke, nor did i speak to them, for speaking to them would bring Her up and more scars would form. more than i'd be able to count. I had manged to leave the casket to a lonely corner where none one stood, i went to the corner i wanted nothing more than to be alone, to be without the are you okays?  or the I'm sorry for your loss. It was all fake. I Sat in the chair that stood in the corner finding interest in the floor, the dull brown wooden floors. i stared at the floor till a pair of Black dress shoes found the place where i stared.  I didn't bother seeing who had found me in the corner."hey.."His voice would of been comforting to hear,but nothing at this point seemed worth my time."I'm not going to ask if you're okay or say i'm sorry for your loss cause i know that won't help. I just want to be here for you,and i know you don't want to be with anyone but you need to be with Family and friends..To help you get through it.." I didn't speak as he crouched down, when he reached forward hugging me, and i allowed it..I allowed my self to curl into his touch to place my head on his shoulder and just cry. He didn't seem to care that i again was crying on his shoulder damping his suit he wore. He didn't care how many people saw him gently place a kiss on my head. He didn't care as long as i was hurt,he wanted nothing more than to make sure i was okay..Just like my Ma who always put others before herself. he Pulled away slowly and he looked at me with caring brown eyes."Jack...Is there anything you need? A place to stay? days off of school? Anything?" I nodded softly."..Yeah..Can we step outside?" my voice came as a soft cracked whisper.He nodded and led me through the heavy Atmosphere. He opened the door of the memorial hall that lead outside into the cool gray afternoon. Rain softly fell, wetting everything. the only thing keeping us from getting wet was a overhang that covered a small porch that was decorated with chairs and small outside tables. I sat down in a chair that was farthest from the door,Mark too the seat next to it. I took a shaky breath through my nose taking in the familiar smell of rain,i looked up seeing the Dark gray clouds gather and mourn for the loss sun. 

The sound of a old pick up stuttering to a stop brought my attention to the parking lot. I watched as an old red Chevy door opened and closed,Mark seemed to watch it too. I didn't recognize the car nor the Dark brown coat that the figure wore as they walked approached the Memorial hall. As they neared they dropped the hood that shielded them from the rain. My heart dropped as i recognized a large scar on their eyebrow. The must of seen me because they looked in my direction. They stopped, the rain hitting shaggy ragged gray hair that looked like it hadn't been kept in days. I watched as they neared making their way in my direction. I stood balling my fist as they came closer."Sean.."My anger and despair and pain swirled and mixed as i heard them say my name."why are you here?" they stopped only a few feet away."I'm here to show my support of My son,why else would I be here?" I felt Tears build but, i didn't care ,He had no Right to show up."Get the fook out of here,you don't belong to here!"i saw pain cross his face but he didn't move. some family from inside must of heard me yell and came outside to see what was going on,they noticed him and they didn't say anything."Sean you...don't mean that." i stepped closer balling up my fist,Mark stood making sure i didn't do anything stupid."Yes, i do. You don't get to be here to support me, cause i don't need any of your god Damn empathy, You lost me as a son the moment you walked out on Ma and me for some stupid desk clerk!" i saw him step forward."I came back didn't I? I came back to support you two,I made sure i Paid my child support."My anger built now, i wanted nothing more to punch the bastard who pretended to be a father."Yeah You came back in a drunken fit,You came to our Door step five years later begging Ma to take you back. You hit her when she said no! and the child support? what child support?" he seemed to have a hint of guilt in his stance, he opened his mouth to speak but i yelled again."No! i don't want to hear your damn excuses! you should of been there when we needed you! not fookin' 20 years Later claiming to come for your Son! no you're here to claim the life insurance money aren't you?" his jaw tighten,he opened his mouth to say something but nothing came. i couldn't help and more, i jumped forward to beat the shite out of him,but Mark  and my uncle grabbed me holding me back. People were now were murmuring among each other."Yeah you're just here for the money! i fookin' knew it you cheap piece of shite! She fookin' died and all you can think about is getting the money! you know what i'll make sure you get a fooking penny of it! You hear? NONE OF IT!" he stood back guilt and anger across his face. He then opened his mouth and again he nothing to say,so he stormed off back to his rusty red Chevy i then watched as it sputtered and pulled away from the memorial hall parking lot. Mark and my Uncle let go. i crumpled into the chair... i just wanted this day to end.

i wanted it all to end..........