Not Good Enough (Falling in Reverse and Escape the Fate FanFic)

23. Facing Fears

Carter's POV:

My arm aches pretty bad, but it's doing well all things considered. It's been three days since the fight with Ronnie. I haven't left my room. Not once. And no one has come to check on me. That's right. Not Jacen, not Max, not Craig, Monte, or Robert either. What hurts the most I'd have to say is Ronnie not checking on me. For all they know I could have overdosed and be lying on my floor dead right now. And not a single one of them would know. This is what my days have consisted of. Laying on my bed, letting my thoughts run wild. High as a kite. Blasting music non-stop. Oh, and let's not forget the mangling I've done to my arm, legs, and hips too. 've carved Ronnie's name into my wall, and written lyrics all over as well. I dyed my hair electric blue with some dye I found in my bathroom that I bought forever ago and never used. I haven't necessarily slept, either. More like passed out in random spots in my room as well as my bathroom. And now you are caught up in the craziness that has become my life in the past few days. That's another thing. It's only been 3 days, but it feels like it's been weeks. It might have something to do with the fact that I  haven't eaten.

Knock Knock Knock Knock

I sat up quickly. Did someone knock on my door, or was that my imagination?

Knock Knock Knock

Nope. Someone is really there. I smiled before I realised who it might be, what they want, or what they'll say to me. I hesitated for a moment before I decided I was really in the mood for some human contact.  I got off my bed adjusting my clothes and hair before walking to the door and asking

"Who is it?" My voice scared me. I hadn't heard it since I screamed after Ronnie. It was hoarse and choked from crying, and the lack of use I'm assuming.

"Just open the door." a male voice called out, I tried to place it but couldn't. I decided to just open the door. The thing that stood before me shocked me in every way possible. I didn't expect it to be him.

"What the fuck do you want?" I asked, angry, trying to sound like I didn't want to talk to him. Truth be told, I did want to talk to him. And he knew it. And that made me so incredibly mad.

"I want to fucking talk to you. I texted you a billion times but you didn't reply. I was afraid to come see you cause I thought you were still way too mad to talk to" He said, taking a step closer. I sighed and let him in to the mess of a room I had hidden out in the past few days.

"I didn't reply cuz I didn't get them. My phone died and my charger was downstairs. I didn't want to risk being seen to go get it." I answered with a sigh and flopping down on my bed.

"Everyone is worried about you, ya know." he said, I scoffed.

"Oh yah? If they're so fucking worried why didn't any of them come and see me? Especially you." I spat at him, rolling away so that my bad was to him. Mature, I know.

"Look Carter. I'm sorry. I know this is my fault but I meant what I said." He answered softly, trying to ge tme to turn over. It worked.

"I know you meant it. That's what scared me the most. I can't face anyone right now, especially not you Ronnie." I said trying to keep my tears in, and suceeding, if only barely.

"Then why'd you do it? Why'd you choose the drugs over me when I gave you the choice?" He asked, holding back tears of his own.

"Just cause. I'm not ready. I'm young, I'm dumb. I want to have fun." I wouldv'e normally laughed at my unintentional rhyming but right now it didn't feel right.

"I get that. I was in your shoes once, remember? But you really need to buckle down and get your shit together." He said.

"I know, you're right." I said, looking down in shame