Not Good Enough (Falling in Reverse and Escape the Fate FanFic)

11. Get Away And Stay There

Craig's POV:

The ambulance finally showed up and took Carter away. Max went in the ambulance with her, the rest of us had to drive. We weren't allowed since none of us were her family. Once we arrived into the hospital we parked and ran into the ER. We approached the desk frantic and out of breath, we probably looked like crazy people. I talked to the nurse and she said we weren't allowed to see Carter since we weren't family. It made me so mad we kept hearing that 'Sorry, only immediate family.' If only they understood how close everyone in the band was to her. She was like our little sister. Monte, Robert and I sat down and watched as Ronnie paced back and forth all over the room mumbling to himself.

"Ronnie, dude. Pacing and talking to yourself aren't gonna make things better. It's just stressing you and everyone watching you. Why don't you try to sit and calm yourself?" I offered trying to settle his nerves. He stopped for a moment and looked up at me. His eyes were filled with fear and anger. Not for anyone in particular, I think it was for himself. He flipped me off, and continued his pacing avoiding eye contact with everyone. I sighed in defeat. Before long I was drifting to sleep. I awoke to someone nudging me in my side saying my name. My eyes fluttered open to find a very sad and tired looking Max trying to wake me up.

"Yah? Wassup?" I asked still half asleep.

"You can go see Carter now." He said. With those words my eyes snapped open and I hopped up walking toward the corridor, excited to see her. Max grabbed my arm before I could get too far.

"Yeah?" I asked

"Don't flip at her appearance dude." Max warned.

"That bad huh?"

"Yah, she lost alot of blood. And was puking all night from the meds they gave her."

"I understand. I still want to see her though" I told him

"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you." And with that he let go of my arm that I forgot he was holding. I continued to the corridor. I walked down a hall until I came to another desk. I gave her my name and then Carter's. She gave me a visitor pass and the room number. I walked down yet another long corridor, it was creepy. Everything was white, and the hall was crazy skinny. I walked to the very end of the hall and found the right room number. I knocked on the door and heard a very hoarse

"Come in." It was Carter, I knew that. Even though her voice was hoarse and soar sounding I still recognized it. I opened the door slowly and walked in even slower. Once I was in I shut the door softly behind me.

"Hey Craigifer!" She tried to sound excited, she even tried to fake a smile. I knew she was faking because it didn't even reach her eyes. Hell, it barely reached her lips.

"Hey you. How ya feeling?" I was beating around the bush, I didn't want to jump on the subject, she had another plan however.

"Craig, shut up. I know you want to ask me more than that. Because it's pretty damn obvious how I'm feeling. I feel and look like shit." She wasn't lying. Her once bright green eyes were now bloodshot and glassy. The color itself seemed to change to a strange grey. Her hair was now dry and stringy. It stuck to her face, which was extremely pale. And not the pretty glowing kind of pale it usually was. It was sickly looking. Her arms, legs, and torso were covered in blood stained-bandages. My heart dropped at the sight of her.

"Fine, that's not what I was going to ask." I admitted.

"Knew it. Now what's the real question?" She asked me, sounding slightly irritated.

"Why? Why would you do this?" I tried to hide the sadness and semi-anger in my voice.

"Simple. I wanted to end it." She said it like it was such an obvious thing. What happened to her? All emotion in her had seemed  to disappear, completely.

"End what exactly?" I asked her

"Life." again, she was so blunt.

"What part of it is so hard for you?"

"I would lie and say eveything, but I know you wouldn't accept that."

"You're right, I wouldn't." I told her sitting on a chair near her bedside.

"Fine. I'll tell you. But keep it to yourself. Promise?"

"Promise."

"Okay. Honestly, the hardest thing for me is the memories. I can't escape them. Everywhere I go they are right behind my tapping my shoulder saying 'HEY! Remember us?' and all I want to do is forget them. I want to let go. That's my problem, I can never let go." You'd think after saying something so deep she'd cry, or show some emotion. But no, every look of pain was gone. Every look of anything was gone.

"Carter, I'm sorry. About your past, about the accident, about anything I ever said to you that would bring up some painful memory. I'm sorry." Tears were feeling my eyes. She just looked at me, then looked back down at the remote in her lap.

"That's the thing, Craig. Everything reminds me of something tragic that has happened. When I look in the mirror I see my mom. I'm a split image of her when she was younger. When I look at Max I see our dad's eyes. And his smile, his laugh too. When I see you, or any of the guys from Escape The Fate I think back to the first concert I went to of yours. In the parking lot after the show I was jumped by kids from my school calling me an emo whore. I never told anyone, not even Max where those bruises came from. This state reminds me of the earthquake that killed my bestfriend. See Craig? I can't go anywhere or do anything without being reminded of some fragment of my past." She was still staring in her lap.

"Carter, I-I didn't know it was this bad for you." I had no idea what to say to make her feel better, not that it would matter. She seemed to not feel anything.

"Yeah, well no one knew it was this bad. So join the club." She still didn't care... It was starting to scare me.

"Carter, liste-" Was all I got out before she cut me off

"Craig, honestly, don't bother. Nothing is going to make life better. So why don't you just get out." She was looking at me now, but still nothing.

"Carter, just try to-" she cut me off again.

"CRAIG. Get out. Now. I want to be alone. And tell Max, Ronnie, Monte, and Robert to go home. Tell them not to call. Tell them not to visit. Tell them I don't want to see them until I get out of this hellhole. And also, tell Max not to tell mom. Tell him not to even bother. Tell him that my mother wouldn't even care. Now go away and stay there." She raised her voice slightly but still didn't show much emotion.

"Okay, goodbye Carter." There was no more use even trying to fight her. I was expecting a reply but she just rolled over on her side facing away from me. I stepped out of the room shutting it behind me and walking down the skinny hallway back to deliver her message to the boys.