Death Note - J (Discontinued)

๑ Chapter 35 ๑ - Be More Like L, It Helps

    Oh my goodness gracious. How do you guys put up with me? Okay I've been waiting for a fic update for a long time, too.

    Hey UT fans, ever heard of Flowey is Not a Good Life Coach? I'm going f u c k i n g insane. At first, I was okay. It's been well over a month's wait for the finale. Okay. Then the author announced that the end has been sent to the beta. IT'S BEEN FUCKING ME UP FOR ABOUT A WEEK. LITERALLY MOST OF MY THOUGHTS THROUGHOUT THE DAY WERE OF HOW IT ENDS.

    ...Anyways, I'd like to ask: do any of you feel that way about this story? Does it drive you crazy waiting for an update? ...Wow, I'm so sorry. Now that I remember how it fucking feels, I'll try to be a little better with this. I'm gonna set a little goal for myself~! Yes my updates are slow as fuck, but I'll try to make them at least monthly! Today is the 11th? I'll try to have the next update by that date next month! Let's see how it goes~

    Look, I know I say I'm busy. Then I say I'm just lazy. Actually, the case is that I'm so busy that when I have free time, I just need to rest. Sometimes I just lie down and stare at the wall. Most of the time I sleep. At school. At home. There's just a lot of stuff going on - nothing sad! - don't worry, that already passed. Now it's just normal stuff with school and college, it really takes a lot outta you.

    So thank you for your patience. I understand if the updates aren't worth the wait. I know they're not. But I write this for myself as much as I write it for you guys. I don't care much for reads like I used to, the thing that makes me the happiest is seeing how glad others are to read this story!

    ...I'm sorry.

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    ＊Follow my tumblr for quick news updates, special previews... deleted... scenes... agh. Just... just follow it plz. There's stuff there that might be helpful to see. Thankx. From now on this will just be a link asking for a follow.

Chapter 35

Be More Like L, it Helps

    Happy...

    ...

    Recently, that word has been clinging to my mind, refusing to go away no matter how hard I try to shake it off.

    Late at night. One by one, they doze off. Time slowly ticks by. Last time I checked it was close to 1, and Near asked if I would be okay with staying up to watch Kira's Kingdom. I only gave him a nod. The other three had fallen asleep by then, and Near joined shortly after. Of course, in the relatively short time I've spent here, we've pulled all-nighters and lived off of coffee and headache pills the next day, but it was never preferable. But it was this one time that was a little different. I'm staying up by myself this time, left to do whatever. Count the ceiling tiles. Attempt to work a little more and then stop since this is a team effort. Stare off into space and hope for some kind of epiphany. And it was this that gave me flashbacks of what it was like back in Japan. I would be awake by myself, everyone else asleep, and wait the night out. Well, no. I wasn't alone. L would be with me. I can still remember many nights of not talking to him. And I can still remember many nights of discussing plans with him. I remember evaluating problems. I remember being happy with silence and his presence.

    And I wonder... do I remember being happy? The last time I tried to find out I had a slight breakdown. But right here, right now, there's some kind of clarity within me. I can only see things as they are and not feel the emotion connected to them. I can think about this without feeling so... sad.