Day by Day

Chapter Fourteen

The first morning of 1862 was bright. Caroline awoke to the glittering of the sun off the new fallen snow, and threw the torn curtain up in a hurry to look out. Never had the sky seemed so blue to her, nor had the land seemed so very white. She smiled at the sunlight, feeling the slight, almost unnoticeable warmth on her cheeks. Winter was nearly over. Spring would come soon, and so would her birthday. Perhaps the war would end soon.  

After rising and dressing, she frolicked down the stairs. 

"Good morning," she said lightly upon seeing Lettie Firedancer and Mary. She did not see her mother- and supposed that she was asleep or resting. In her delicate condition, she needed plenty of rest. Caroline smiled at the thought.  

"Goomornin', m'dear," Mary answered, smiling weakly. Her hand rested upon her forehead as if she had a headache. Pursing her lips, she decided that they all had headaches every now and then.  

But she could not shake an uneasy feeling she had.  

"Yer pa went inta town," Lettie explained. "And yer mama is takin' a rest."  

Tahlequah? Oh, for the first time in several months, Caroline prayed and pleaded with God that he would carry home news of the end of war.  

She looked up to the ceiling, momentarily, feeling the smile reach a cold place in her heart. A new year. A fresh start. A chance for conflicts to be solved without war. And Orry could return home, and perhaps they could be married- and so many wonderful fantasies occupied her mind, but not one of them more beautiful than the idea that Orry would be coming home and that she was almost fifteen.  

"Are ya hungry?"  

"No, not at all. 1862," she whispered, testing out the newness of it.  

"You should have somethin'," Mary interjected. "You're 'bout as thin as a whippet."  

She looked down. Yes, she was mighty thin. Her ribs were beginning to show and her dress felt a bit loose in the bosom and the waistline. But she wasn't hungry. She was too happy that morning to be hungry and worried already. It was much too early. 

"I'll have somethin' later." She rubbed her wrist, and took a step or two forward. "Think there're any letters from Orry?" 

"No," Mary answered candidly. "But if there're any, they won't be too current." 

Brow knit over her eyes, lips pursed, Caroline looked down towards the floor. "I guess not." 

She smiled though, and brushed off the dysphasia. "A letter's a letter anyhow. I just wanna know how he's been." 

"He loves ya so," Mary returned, voice soft and mild. 

Eyes towards the ceiling, she felt her heart melt. "I love him, too," she whispered hoarsely, almost giggling with the sweetness of it.  

"M'Joseph had quite the sweet spot fer ya, too," Lettie added. "But 'e knew ya liked Orry." 

Guilt pressed at her. Joseph had always been so kind. Quick to listen and slow to speak.  

Oh, if only Orry came home. 

She had thought it and she thought it again, things would be so much easier if only he were there, with her.  

She sat down at the table, next to them, and picked at her skirt while she hummed a tune from her childhood. After a minute, she opened her mouth to say something, but her eyes fluttered closed and she began to fall back.  

"Fever." 

Caroline felt her heart lodge in her throat. Mary had a fever, and she had been exposed to it.