How I Became Mrs. Watts ✓

How I Became Mrs. Watts (16)

CHAPTER 16

***Sunday After Mass***

We went back to Andrew's house after picking up Oliver and I was happy. We were sitting on his couch in the living room and Oliver was playing on the floor. We both smiled as we watched him crawl around for the toy he wanted, which he then placed in his mouth.

“Why don't you bring Oliver to Mass with you?” I asked of Andrew.

“It's just a habit. After Char died, I stopped bringing him because it felt like something was missing, and it reminded me of his mother to bring him. I-,” he said. He was getting choked up near the end.

“It's okay, you don't have to talk about it.”

“No, I want to talk about it. Maybe it'll help,” he took a deep breath and sighed. “I did something that wasn't very smart. It wasn't smart at all.” He paused to make sure I was really listening. I nodded and he went on, “So you see, Ella, the day she died, right before she left for work, we had a fight. A really big one, I guess you could call it our first fight. I told her that I never wanted to see her again. I-I didn't know that I actually wouldn't see her again.”

“Okay, and what did she say to you?”

“What?”

“What did she say to you, that made you say that to her?” I asked.

“She told me she was going to take Oliver and move back in with her parents because she couldn't stand to see me. She told me she hated me,” he said.

“And there you go,” I said. I could tell he was confused so I continued, “Did you believe her, even for a second that she actually hated you, that she would actually move out?”

“Well...no. I knew her well enough that she wouldn't actually move out, she didn't actually hate me, she just said those things because she was mad.”

“And there you go,” I said again.

“So you're saying that the same goes for her? That she knew that I didn't mean what I'd said?”

“Exactly,” I told him. I was glad he had figured it out on his own. “I'll bet that she didn't believe you for a second, like you didn't believe her for a second.”

“Because I didn't,” he said, “I didn't mean what I'd said at all.”

“I know that, you know that, she knows that.”

He sighed, his guilt now relieved, “Thank you, Ella.” He embraced me in a hug.

“You're welcome,” I replied.

“I've gone to confession twice over that single statement. Father Pious told me the same thing that you did, but I didn't believe him. You've helped me believe him, to believe that I was actually forgiven, by God and Charlotte, and you've helped me forgive myself. Thank you,” he said again.

“You're welcome,” I also said again. I smiled this time. He did too. It seemed that even Oliver was smiling at us, but he was really smiling about the toy he held, well, at least I think that's what he was happy about. One could never be sure though.

Andrew took me back to the school pretty soon. He buckled Oliver in the car and drove us. The first song that came on the radio was another of my favorites: “Fall Apart” by Josh Wilson.

“Why in the world did I think I could,

Only get to know you when my life was good?

When everything just falls in place,

The easiest thing is to give you praise.

Now it all seems upside down.

'Cause my whole world is caving in,

But I feel you now more than I did then.

How can I come to the end of me

But somehow still have all I need?

God I want to know you more,

Maybe this is how it starts,

I find you when I fall apart.

Blessed are the ones who understand

They've got nothing to bring but empty hands.

Nothing to hide and nothing to prove,

Our heartbreak brings us back to you.

And it all seems upside down.

'Cause my whole world is caving in,

But I feel you now more than I did then.

How can I come to the end of me

But somehow still have all I need?

God I want to know you more,

Maybe this is how it starts,

I find you when I fall apart.

I don't know how long this will last,

I'm praying for the pain to pass,

But maybe this is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

'Cause my whole world is caving in,

But I feel you now more than I did then.

How can I come to the end of me

But somehow still have all I need?

God I want to know you more,

Maybe this is how it starts,

I find you when--

You will find me when--

I fall apart.”

When I went back to my dorm, I said my nightly prayers and went to bed. “Dear God, thank You for this wonderful day, and thank You for Andrew and Oliver. They're wonderful people. I only wish that Andrew would stop giving me mixed signals. Does he like me? Does he not? I really wish I knew. Amen.”