Why don't we go for a little angst? Kagat lang ng langgam 'to, pramis. Pahinga konti sa kilig. Ganoin. I'd really love to interact with you on twitter, magfangirl tayo dun! Tweet me @kyemeeeh. All the love!
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The ultimate pessimist when it comes to love, she's not waiting to figure out if it's 'true' or 'real' or whatever other word they use to legitimize how a man feels about a woman, she's just trying to soak up as much happiness as she possibly can before he leaves, because in her mind it's not a matter of if he will, but when. (9 Troubles With Being The Girl Who Knows It's Not A Matter Of If He'll Break Your Heart, But When)
Sam and Patricia are getting married. Everyone's excited, di din naman nila aakalain na yung dalawa talaga ang magkakatuluyan. But if there's someone who isn't that excited with the upcoming wedding, it was Maine. For she was going to see Alden again. Months after their unexpected breakup.
"So Meng kamusta na? Wala kaming masyadong balita sayo since you had your leave from EB. Ano na?" Patricia opened the topic while they were waiting for dessert.
Maine heaved a sigh and smiled. "I'm good, I guess?"
"I know it's still a sensitive issue with Alden and you, but how are you coping with the breakup?" Sam asked. They asked her to a dinner and to ask her to be one of Patricia's bridesmaids.
How am I coping? What the hell. I don't even know how I got in here. Maine wanted to answer, because honestly, she really don't know. The past 3 months was a blur. She would work nonstop in the morning, or do loads of stuffs in their office just to divert her thoughts. But at the end of the day, there was not a single day she curled up in bed, crying.
"Nakakasurvive pa naman." She said. "It was the longest 3 months I've been through."
"What went wrong between you and Alden?" Maine was taken aback with Sam's question. She didn't expect he would be this straightforward.
Bullshit. What went wrong? She doesn't know what to answer. Naisip niya na mali nga sigurong pumayag sya na makipagkita sa kanila gayong hindi pa niya kayang sagutin ang mga tanong na iyon. Pero kelangan, para sa kaniya. Para makabangon na siya.
"Hon. Ano ba yang mga tanong mo? Kakakita lang natin dito kay Meng tapos ganyan bungad mo." Patricia told her fiancee.
"I won't blame anyone sa naging breakup namin. Mas okay nga sana kung may third party, para at least pag tinanong kung anong nangyari, may masasagot ako. Pero wala eh. It was just another 'It's not you, it's me' story. And in our situation, ako. Ako yung may mali." Nagulat si Patricia na sinagot ni Maine ang tanong ni Sam.
"Then what's with your issue? Nakakainis lang kasi Maine e. Ang unfair mo kay Alden. He did everything to understand you. Then you'll answer him with that movie line crap?" Di na napigil ni Sam ang inis. He was with Alden and he saw how hurt the guy was. And now that he tried talking to Maine, she'll just give him with that answer.
"You'll never understand me kahit ano pang sabihin ko sa inyo. Kahit ano pang paliwanag na gawin ko. Kasi sa paningin nyo, Alden was the one who got hurt. I shot him down, end of story. Now if you'll just blame for–"
"Bakit si Alden ba di ka inintindi ha Maine?" Napatayo na si Sam. He wanted to defend his bestfriend. He wanted to prove a point. "Wala siyang ginawa kundi intindihin ka. But you're always pushing him away!"
It was a good thing they were on a private room or else they would really be making a scene. Patricia was trying to calm down Sam.
"You'll never understand me because you don't know how hard to be me." Maine kept her tears from falling, but she couldn't. "You don't know how hard for me to open up, let go of the idea that everyone will leave me because I am like this. You don't know how hard for me to give my all because I fear that I might scare him and he'll just ran away. You don't know how the future scares me, plans are something I suck at making. Hindi nyo ko maiintindihan kasi kahit ako hindi ko maintindihan yung sarili ko."
Maine cried herself out. She suck at handling pain that's why she always end up breaking down. She hates herself for being weak while everyone around expects her to be strong. Patricia hugged her and held her back.
"Meng nandito kami. Nandito kami palagi para sayo and you need to remember that not everyone around you will leave just because you are like that. You need to realize that happiness is a feeling you deserve. You need to let go of that unnecessary weight you've been carrying on your shoulders. You won't be able to find happiness if you always look on its end. You have me, Sam, your family, and Alden whom you can always open up your inhibitions with. You need to start something new without the burden of worrying about when it will end."
"Dapat mong malaman na hindi kami tatakbo palayo sayo kasi ikaw yung takot lumapit samin." Yumakap na din si Sam kay Maine at pinunasan ang luha nito.
"I'm sorry guys for not trusting. Sorry kung masyado akong naging uptight sa inyo. You think papayag si Alden na makipagusap sakin?"
"Nag-iintayan lang naman kayo eh. Sige na call him, hay nako Menggay pangalawang break-up niyo na 'to ha! Pag pangatlo ayawan na."
"Sabi sayo hon eh, tama yung payo ni Niki. Kelangan lang pala paiyakin ng konti etong si Meng tapos marerealize nya na lahat ng kagagahan niya."
"You talked to my sister?" Tanong niya.
"Yes. We badly want you to make it to our wedding kasi kaya gusto namin kayo magbati. Hello! 3 weeks nalang oh. I bet pag di pa namin kayo kinausap, di talaga kayo magpapansinan sa kasal namin."
"Grabe, who could have thought na kayo magkakatuluyan no?"
"E dinaan ako nitong bumbay na 'to sa ka-breezyhan niya eh. Kaya ingat ingat ka dyan kay Alden, cum laude sa Breezy University yun."
"Sus kahit naman di gamitan ng ka-breezyhan ni Alden 'yang si Meng, bibigay pa din yan." Asar ni Sam kaya hinampas siya ni Meng. "Pero makipagbati ka muna sa Tisoy mo. Ikaw din, magiging manang ka pagtanda."
"Ano bang nagustuhan mo dito kay Sam ha Patring? Di ko talaga gets eh."
"Every inch of him."
"Talaga hon? Ganun mo ko kamahal? Di mo ko binobola?"
"Bakit ayaw mo pa?" Sam stole a kiss on Patricia. "Gusto. Gustong-gusto."
"Get a room guys."
"Bitter na 'to." Naputol ang pagaasaran nila ng tumunog ang phone ni Maine. Alam nilang lahat na may specific ringtone silang dalawa sa isa't isa kaya napatili agad si Patricia.
"OMG!!! Si Alden tumatawag na! Sagutin mo na Meng! Wag mag-inarte."
"Teka ano sasabihin ko?"
"Sagutin mo na dali!" Sam handed her the phone.
Maine sighed before answering the phone. "Hello?"
