Something Worth Living For [THG] // Finnick Odair

XXIV

"No, you didn't do anything." Finnick says before I could finish my sentence.

"Is that – Is that what you used in the games?" I venture to ask.

"Yes." Finnick says while he picks the trident up and puts it back into its place. "It was sent to me, that's why sponsors are important, they can be the difference between life and death. I wasn't that good with any other weapon, but I used a trident all my life. I don't know who gave the money but that person or people saved my life."

He walks towards me, takes about twelve steps until he's only a feet or two away from me, he has a very small smile on his lips, barely noticeable. I can tell he still feels ashamed about the whole trident incident.

"We better start." I say to him.

"Alright, anything in particular you want to do?" He asks, that's new. I have never been able to choose what to do.

"Not really. Just tell me what you have planned for today and I'll do it." I say. "What do you think I have to work on?"

"I was thinking and I didn't know what else we could do. We used the swords yesterday, we have worked on your aim, you threw stones. You have done everything, but I think we can do something else, something I think we haven't done so far."

"Alright, what is it?"

"Let's fight."

"Fight? Haven't we done that already?" I ask confused.

"I have ambushed you and you have to break free from me, I have chased you and if I caught you, you had to fight and try to get away from me but today we will actually fight, you know, like with punches and kicks."

"Hmm, I was wondering when we were going to do that." I say with a smirk on my face. "I thought you didn't want me to ruin your nice hair and your pretty face."

"You won't touch the face." Finnick states. "Everything but the face, I'm too handsome for that."

"Yeah, right." I say laughing at him.

"So have you fought before, like a real fight?"

"I used to fight all the time with my brother." I say, he only gives me an 'Are-you-serious?-look. "What? I broke his arm once and his nose like four times."

"Hmm, not that bad then." He says with a smirk.

"I also...."

"What?" Finnick asks with curiosity. "What did you do?"

"Nothing too important." I say shrugging. "I might have been involved in a school fight... like about eight times."

"Oh my God, really?" Finnick says laughing. "That's impressive! Do you have any more secrets?"

"None that I can think of right now." I say, shrugging.

"Did you win the fights?"

"Almost all of them, except for the first one." I tell him. I smile at the memories. "This girl was making fun of me and we got into a fight and she won and everyone laughed at me, I hated it so much that I actually skipped school so I could learn how to fight. My neighbour helped me, he taught me how to punch and kick. Then I kept hitting this kind of sack until I had no more strength, I did it for several days. I went back to school about a week later and the girl made fun of me again, she said I was so scared of her and that's why I've missed school and that's when I just flipped, I guess."

"What happened after that?"

"I don't really remember. Like I said, I flipped. But I broke her nose, and gave her a black eye among other things. I'm not proud of it, but it felt good."

"What about the other fights?"

"The girl's friends weren't so happy with what I did, so they decided to corner me in an ally. But I beat them up too, they were two girls. I only got a bruise from that. Then I don't know why I ended up in fights they just happened, except for another one." I say, Finnick has crossed his arms and he keeps looking at me with a lot of interest. "It was last year, I was walking back to the market to buy some food when I saw my brother's girlfriend kissing another guy, I was outraged that I couldn't control myself. I hit her several times, the boy tried to stop me but I just hit him too. I don't know, something gets over me and I have no control of my actions."

I play with my hair as I tell Finnick about the fight. I remember everything before the fight and the start of it but then everything gets blurred and confusing, I'm not sure of what I did and I did not do. After the fight is over I start to gain consciousness again, I always find myself away from the scene and I don't remember how I got there.

"What if that happens to me in the arena?" I ask as a thought crosses my mind.

"What do you mean?"

"What if someone attacks me and while I'm fighting for my life, and I just flip again and become like a killing machine?"

"That wouldn't be that bad, if it makes you win."

"I don't want to lose myself." I say almost as low as a whisper. "Every time that happens, is like I'm not in control of my own actions and I don' remember what I did, is like becoming someone else and I don't want that. I don't like it."

"You won't I promise." Finnick says as he grabs both my hands with his hands.

"How do you know that won't happen?"

"I don't. The Games do change you, just think about me some minutes ago when you got here. For a moment I thought I was back in the games, I'm paranoid very often. But I haven't changed that much besides that." He tells me. "When the Games are over and if I notice a change, I will help you. I won't let you lose yourself, as you say."

"Really? Would you do that?"

"Of course." He says, nodding. "I don't want to lose you either."

"What if it doesn't work?"

"If that happens I will try everything, I won't give up on you." Finnick says, and that makes me more secure, like a weight has been removed from my shoulders.

"Thanks." I say and hug him.

"How do you feel? Do you want to start training?"

"Of course, I don't even know where all that came from."

"I asked." Finnick says. "I'm sorry if it bothered you."

"No, it's fine." I say. "I haven't really thought about it for a while, and now that I do, I think that was the time when I changed."

"Changed?"

"I wasn't always like this. You know, shy, insecure, weak, all that. I was completely the opposite, then everything changed. Maybe I unconsciously changed so I didn't have to be so violent, I hated when that happened and I lost control of myself. Anyway, enough of that. Let's get to work before the whole hour passes by."

"Alright, let's start." He says and smirks at me.

______________________________________________________________________________________

QOTD: What's your hair colour?