I have been awake for four days and so far things are good or so the doctors claim, they say I'm improving well, but am I?
There are barely any signs left of what I went through. I must admit they did a wonderful job, I have no scars left, or they are very small, no bruises, no cuts or injuries. Nobody would have guessed I was in a rainforest fighting for my life for more than a month, my body doesn't show any signs of it besides the weight loss of course, my mind though is a completely different story, my mind is a scary place now.
I know Ryle is dead, I know the Careers are dead, just like Maisha and Zane are. I mean, I wouldn't be here if they were alive so that's why I know. My mind is still a bit foggy but I sometimes remember things that happened and I'm not able to get those memories out of my mind for long periods of time.
One thing in particular I can remember is the time Divya stabbed me, the scar is shorter than an inch and it will probably disappear completely, but that's the most vivid memory I have so far. I start to panic and try to get it out of my mind but it won't or I will wake up in the middle of the night, trying to stop Divya from stabbing me but she's not really here, she's gone.
I also remember when I was going into the arena, the last time I saw Carlyne. One of the nicest people here in the Capitol. He has helped me a lot now, he was with me when I was hallucinating Divya was here and he got me to calm down. He has also been preparing me for all I must do once I'm 'fit' to leave the hospital, Finnick has helped me with that too but he is a bit more cautious with me, while Carlyne is more blunt about the whole situations, both are very helpful, though, in their own ways.
Brutus and Lyme just tell me about what will happen but not to prepare me, but just like to let me know. They are quite excited about it, they even ordered champagne to celebrate I won. They haven't visited me every day, and I'm happy for that, I don't know how I'll stand them being with me several minutes a day, every day.
Carlyne and Finnick are telling me things that I don't remember about the Games, just so it won't be as hard when I have to see the whole thing for the interview with Caesar. I can only describe the whole thing, the interview, as torture, I'm actually dreading that moment, I don't know if I'm ready for that.
I keep asking what happened at the end, how I ended up alive, but both, Finnick and Carlyne, and even Johanna, have been avoiding that topic, they say they will tell the story as it happened, they will tell me the end at the end, of course. This morning they told me about everything or almost everything that happened when I was unconscious and how Kade took care of me.
"Kade." I whisper. "I miss him."
Carlyne, who was the only one present, preferred to not say anything about it and instead kept with the story.
It's not that I didn't remember him or what he did for me, I remember most of the time we were together, but I hadn't really thought about him until Carlyne mentioned him, the truth is that as soon as Carlyne walked out of the room and I was left alone, I burst into tears. I miss him. He was my friend.
If I could have saved him, I would have done it. He saved me and now I'm in this bed, in this hospital because of him. He was my friend and I lost him. Now I just can wonder how he died, because I don't really know. I just can hope he didn't suffer much.
"How did I win?" I ask Finnick.
He is here with Johanna, Carlyne it is not present this time. It is not much after lunch so he probably must be still eating or something like that.
"Carlyne and I agreed to tell you the whole story step by step, so you have to wait until we get to the end to know that."
"But why?" I ask him, getting a bit frustrated.
YOU ARE READING
Something Worth Living For [THG] // Finnick OdairRomance
Trailer: http://youtu.be/wd_URzYGfyo "Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself."