Coming Home

Chapter 45 - When Things Change

Sometimes in life, time passes without you realising. One day you wake up and realise it’s been a month, a year, five years and you’ve not done anything you always thought you would. Like getting married, having children, moving to the countryside and buying a big house to raise those children in. Being happy.

My time being locked up made me think about the things I hadn’t done, the things I had been naive to think I had all the time in the world to do. I thought, what if I die here? What have I achieved?

Nothing.

And although I was determined to live, it was easier to die. To just let go. It was so hard to keep trying to hang onto life, when all I had time to do was wish it would end.

Then things changed.

One day, it felt like a long time since I had been locked up, I felt cold. This wasn’t anything new, the concrete floor I had been laying on, unable to move from, had been anything but warm. But I could feel the cold. I could feel…The numbness that I had grown accustomed to had gone.

I opened my eyes to see…nothing. Not the unforgiving florescent light I had grown accustom to looking up at. Not any light at all.

My first thought was I’m blind. My second was, the blub must have broken. But then a gust of wind blew a strand of my lank hair across my face. I moved my hand over the ground below me. Grass.

I was outside. I lay on damp grass. It was the softest, most comfortable bed I had ever had. Was I ever so happy to see the earth?

My face lay in a puddle of muddy water. I must have been out here for some time because my body was damp. I had just rained.

Without the numbness, I could actually move once again. Slowly, I tested my arms, pushed myself up onto my elbows then my knees, until I crouched. I blinked, hoping for my eyes to quickly adjust to the darkness so I could get out of here as quickly as possible.

A million questions ran unanswered through my mind, Did they let me go? Where am I? Why am I here?

I didn’t know how long it had been. I didn’t really care. All that mattered now was getting back home. To Jack…To Logan. I never wanted to think about being locked up in that hell again. But how will I find them? I wouldn’t last much longer out here.

I wish I could just go back home. Not my cold, damp flat. But Logan’s house, with its warm fireplaces, bright lights and safety. It’s not good thinking about that now. Focus. Focus and get out of here.

It had begun to drizzle by the time I attempted to stand. Damp ringlets of hair stuck to my face as I used the trunk of a tall tree to lean against; my legs shook so badly I couldn’t imagine getting away fast. But I managed it. I stood, looking around me.

It was a wood, or a forest. The darkness made me nervous. This is a trick. They wouldn’t just let you go. Nothing’s that simple.

I started walking. I couldn’t see very far ahead of me and had to feel about with my feet before taking every step, to make sure I didn’t stand on or fall over anything. Cold mud squelched between my toes and I looked down, only then noticing I wore no shoes or socks on my feet, and wore some sort of old fashioned, white nightdress as the only thing to protect me from the elements. It didn’t do a very good job of it; already it clung to my far-too-thin frame, wet from the rain.

Has someone changed me without me realising? The thought made me feel sick. My head already span, black spots clouded my vision, hiding the little I could see of my surroundings. I was weak.