Adopted by Werewolves, what could possibly go wrong?

Adopted by Werewolves, what could possibly go wrong? 5

breakfast was insanity.

quick questiong to my fans, these are all the questions the kitchen aplliences asked me, can you answer them?

1 how many grams of butter do you put on your toast every morning?

2 how many mililitters-drops-of orange juice do you want?

3 what is your prefered tempurature for you juice?

4 how many ice cubes do you want in your juice

5 how much cimamon do you want on your french toast

6 how many frosted flakes do you want in your bowl?

7 how many militers of milk should be put in your bowl?

8 at what tempurature do you want your milk to be?

9 would you like seconds-pick from about 9000000000000000 kind of cereals in idk the language

10 are you planning on doing excersise after breakfast?

11 if you answered yes to 10 please press this button so that the monitor may keep track of how many calories you take in,and exactly how many hours, minutes, and seconds you should wait before doing excersise.

if you were able to answer these questions: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????!!!!!

after that chaos called breakfast-i nearly killed one of the machines because it snuck up on me and started trying to rip my foot off and then tried to pass its attempted-murder as a foot massage from some place i've never heard of.

we went to the park after that. apparently vampires think playing catch/frisbee wth thier pets is above them so they paid freakish robots that looked like chickens on crack to throw the frisbee's and balls at the dog while they had dainty conversations about thier nails and thier hair and all the other things rich vampires talk about.

DID YOU KNOW-that if you moved to the vampire side of the world they would pay you to be a living, breathing, walking, blood bank?

my sister dragged me to the park and showed me off to her friends like i was her new shiny car or something. and i hated it. they asked me so many insane questions that made no sense.

after that we went to some really fancy restaurant for brunch. what the hell? apparently as far as vampires are concerned, its perfectly normal to pay 50 grand so that the dog can eat at the table with you-i assure you the dog is only fed the best dog food on this planet-and to top it off the dog did not have a water dish, oh no, dogs here were much to sophistaced to drink water-the dog drank some kind of fancy wine.

they asked me questions while i stared at my food. i swear to you, i had no idea what it was-for the record, the whole menu was in egyptian-and picked at it with my fork. it was really creepy because it kept moving around.

the girls were talking about clothes and perfume and blood banks and all the other stuff these rich, spolied, high maintenance vampire ladies talked about.

after the meal we all hopped into the limo and the questions began. they simply could not get enough of me, and it was annoying. they wanted to know what shampoo i was using-what the?- did i catch flease from hanging around with werewolves-thats mean-and if this was my natural hair color-of course it was!-at least three of them fainted when they found out that i'd never had cosmetic surgery and the driver nearly crashed the limo because he heard me say that i had never dyed my hair any color. what the?

the driver crashed the limo and all the girls fainted when i said tha i'd never been to a spa-i'm just surprised i survived the crash-who knew limo's had so many airbags?

when they all came to they hauled me out of the limo and dragged me to the nearest spa-apparently the fact that my nailbeds are crappy because i bite my nails is of higher priority than the life of the limo-driver-dude. that is just sad.

we got to the spa and some guy freaked out because a million and ten things were wrong with me. they ushered me into another room and said that i wouldn't be able to enter the spa until i was 'presentable'

A FEW OF THESE THINGS WILL BE KIND OF EXTREME BUT I AM EXAGERATING FOR EFFECT PEOPLE

they killed my nails-i tended to bit them so i had horrid nailbeds

my legs were VERY hairy. they had to wax my legs five times just to get some of it off and then they waxed my legs three more times but that did not help so they shaved my legs-yes, some lady got paied to shave my legs, and that was creepy- and even then she had to go over my legs six times to get the remainder of the hairs out.

next were my nails. they filed the living crap out of my non-existant nails because i tended to bit then and then painted them the same color as my eyes so that it wouldn't be so easily noted that i bit my nails.

they broke a few hairbrushed untaingling my hair.

they had to shave my eyebrows with a razor and then come at then with tweezers because my eyebrows were so bushy.

they scrubbed every single particle of filthy from my body-along with like five layers of my skin

my skin looked dry to them so they wasted about ten bottles of loton on me

they smeared this thick stuff over my lips because they were chapped.

that took  a few hours and then one of the laides said 'you almost look like a human being now!' that hurt. that hurt a lot.

three more hours they worked on me to make me look 'better'

it took them eight whole hours and then they all gave up because they were never going to get me to look anything past 'decent' and i was allowed to leave.

i was the last one to get into the limo. everyone was gwacking at me like crazy-a few of them said the same thing as the other lady- and a few just said that i looked better than before.

i lied and siad that i was tired so the limo dude dropped me off at my sisters place and then left. i changed into some pants and a random shirt and played catch with my dog. it was starting to look like the only thing that would bring me comfort was my dog. it was the only thing that wasn't alien to me. i should have never agreed to come here.

i was never going to fit in here. i wasn't one of them.