Demolition Lovers [[GERARD WAY FANFIC]]

Two Months Later: As Told By Nathan Sanders

*IT HAS NOW BEEN TWO MONTHS SINCE BETH ARRIVED AT ERICS! I REPEAT, IT IS NOW TWO MONTHS LATER*

-Nathan's POV-

As we shoved the last of our stuff into the packed-tight car, I couldn't help but think of Beth. She had basically stolen our other car, but Frank showed up with his, so we were forcing him to take some of our luggage in his car.

I closed trunk of the car and leaned on it, head in hands. It's been two months now. Two months since Beth left. The last thing we knew about her was that Frank had seen her headings towards Monroe; I hadn't talked to her since that night. She refused to answer my calls...or maybe there was nobody there to answer them? That's what worried me the most. How was I to know if Beth was alive or not?

I still don't know why I even thought leaving her with Gerard was a good idea. I thought that showing her what she was going to become if she didn't stop going down her destructive path would turn her around; I was wrong. If anything, Gerard had apparently made things worse. I don't why I didn't see it coming; Gerard was just as unstable as she was, if not worse. Maybe that's why I thought they'd get along? I thought Gerard might understand Beth; I thought she'd let him in. All she needed was someone to understand her, and I was ashamed to admit that that person just wasn't me. I know Beth was still pissed about me leaving a couple of years ago without even telling her. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but I'd only managed to make her trust issues worse. And in seeing her again after all this time, it was obvious to me how much worse she'd gotten. How much worse could it get though...how much worse could it get though before she wasn't able to take it anymore? Would I ever know?

I looked over as I saw Gerard finally exit the apartment, locking it behind him. I still don't know what he said or did to her that night she stormed off, but I'm assuming it wasn't good. Things had also been changing with Gerard ever since Beth leaving. He had become angrier. More spontaneous. More dangerous. Why? I'm not exactly sure. I should never have mentioned Beth's depression to him though because now his old habits were beginning to resurface. Of course they'd never left, but now he was lashing out more. I think I had only reminded Gerard about who he really was behind the leather jacket and beer, and that's the thing he hated more than anything- being reminded about who he really was.

I should never have let those two meet. They were too similar. Scary similar. And putting two people with thought processes like that was dangerous. Gerard had no moral compass, and Beth was too broken to think for herself. And ever since they did meet, things had just blown up.

What the fuck had I done?

I looked over as Frank got in his car, Brendon sitting shotgun. Gerard walked over to the car and glared at me before getting in the passengers seat; things had been different since our fight. That's another thing I shouldn't have mentioned; the cutting. Beth had never told me that she actually cut herself, but I was able to notice it. I didn't know how to confront her about it though because I knew words were like bombs to her; say one wrong thing, and that could set off a series of explosions. That was the main difference between Beth and Gerard. Beth was more self destructive. She tried to hide herself from the world, especially people in general, slowly destroying herself. She didn't want to bring anyone else down with her...

Gerard was almost worse though. He'd been depressed ever since...what happened... but he took his anger out on those around him as well as himself. He tried to deflect his pain onto others to pretend like it wasn't there, like it want just his; that's what made him dangerous. The more he ignored it, the more it built up, and when he finally let it go, all hell would break loose.

That was the difference. Gerard was hell bent on bringing everyone down with him; he didn't like knowing something was his own fault.

I remember the last time I ever saw him cry.

It had been only a couple of months after the incident and I'd left Gerard alone to go buy cigarettes from a gas station. I hadn't thought about it much since Gerard basically refused to come out of his room during the day, only coming out at night to go out, get drunk, and probably fuck some slut he met. It had been only about two in the afternoon, and I couldn't have been gone for more than fifteen minutes, but when I came back, I remember walking through the door and seeing Gerard just standing in front of dorm window. I was surprised because he usually didn't come out of his room during the day.

"Gerard?" I had asked, surprised.

Silence.

He just kept staring out the window, motionless. So I walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey man, what's going-" I didn't finish my sentence as Gerard had turned to face me right then, and I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Tears were running down his cheeks, and his eyes were so full of pain.

"It's all my fault..." He had whispered desperately.

And that's when I noticed his hands.

Blood was dripping from his wrists, covering his hands.

"G-Gerard?!" I stuttered, dropping the cigarettes I had been holding in my other hand.

"I should have been there!" He spoke again.

"Goddammit Gerard!" I remember screaming before running to the kitchen, frantically looking for paper towels or something to stop the bleeding.

I found two washcloths and ran back over to where he was standing and tried to grab his hands.

"NO!" He yelled suddenly, causing me to jump. "You can't help me! I couldn't fucking help him! I don't deserve help!"

Blood just let slowly dropping from his hands to the floor, and I began to panic.

"Gerard you have to let me stop the bleeding!" I tried to get closer, but he shoved me backwards, covering the jacket I had been wearing with two bloody handprints.

I realized talking to him wasn't going to work.

I ran towards him and tackled him, the action obviously taking him by surprise as he fell to the ground.

I grabbed both of wrists with the wash cloths as more tears made their way down Gerard's cheeks.

I stood up, but he stayed on the floor.

"It's just not fair." He started looking straight at me. "It's just not fucking fair."

...

And that was the last time I ever saw Gerard Way cry, or really ever let his real emotions out.

So I got in the car, Gerard alright lighting a cigarette up next to me, a dark look on his face. Frank pulled out of the parking lot, and I followed him. And it wasn't ten minutes into the car ride before-

"Don't you ever fucking say that again."

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I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IN FOREVER! I HAVE HAD SO SO SO MUCH TO DO, AND IVE BEEN SO STRESSED AND AHHHHHHH! ANYWAYS I HOPE THIS CHAPTER WAS SLIGHTLY DECENT AND I HOPE YOU LIKE THE STORY SO FAR! IM ALSO SO THANKFUL TO YOU GUYS FOR GETTING MY FIC TO OVER 500 READS! I KNOW THAT DOESNT SEEM LIKE MUCH, BUT THST TRULY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME! YOU ARE ALL SO AMAZING AND I APPRECIATE EVERY READ AND EVERY COMMENT SO MUCH! THANK YOU! STAY FABULOUS *MUAH*

---Fabbyulous1