In Too Deep

A Visit, A Dinner, & A Confession

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A Visit, A Dinner, & A Confession

Skye

I was nervous. I was afraid to see the look on her mother's face when she saw me. Would she approve? Disapprove? Would she even acknowledge me?

I looked down at the clothes I wore. The black pants and white dress shirt seemed fitting for a jail visit.

Zayne wore a nice button down shirt under a creme colored sweater and a pair of nice dark jeans paired with her tan Timberland boots. She looked very respectable.

We got in the car, driving out to the local prison where her mother was held. My leg hadn't stopped bouncing since I woke up this morning. I touched the bun at the back of my head at least fifty times the first twenty minutes of the car ride.

"You'll be fine." Zayne said, but even she didn't sound convincing.

I looked down at the black Timberland's that were on my feet and took a deep breath. I could do this. I could do this. Meeting someone's mother isn't a big deal..unless they're in jail for murder.

My hip was aching since it hadn't healed properly. My heart was beating erratically. My skin was sweaty.

The car pulled to stop in front of the prison. Zayne got out and held my hand tightly. My stomach grumbled with nerves and I laid against her shoulder. She emptied her pockets when we went through the metal detector. This was the one place Zayne really didn't carry a gun.

We followed the signs to the visiting station and sat at the cold metal table. Her mother hadn't been brought out yet.

Zayne looked at me. "I love you. Always remember that. No matter what my mother tells you."

I nodded, kissing her cheek softly. She held my hand on the table top and her breath hitched when a woman came out.

She was so damn beautiful and looked too much like Zayne. Her smooth yellow skin, her long curly hair, and her brown eyes.

She looked grim as she sat across from us, and the officer removed her handcuffs. She looked at Zayne assessed every inch of her and softly touched her cheek before pulling away and looking at me.

"You're too pretty to be living this lifestyle." She said, "You could be doing so much with yourself."

"Thanks but I love her." I said, leaning against Zayne who was already stiffened.

"I love you too." She whispered.

"You can love her but believe me, her love is toxic. Their love is toxic. There's no fixing them, the recklessness, the danger, you can never be safe. Please don't fall into this routine. You were me. I was you. And look at me now." She said, her voice sounded dead. Her eyes flickered over to Zayne. She said nothing. Only looked at her only living daughter. "If you're gonna love her, take care of her. This is my only child left. And I love her. I cannot talk to her. I cannot look at her for too long without thinking of her dead father. The man died doing what she does and she refuses to change it. She's just as toxic as he was. And I got sucked in because I loved him."

I was honestly speechless. I didn't know what to say to that. I would never understand her way of love is toxic. Her love is special. Her love is tender.

"But this is your life. I just don't want your story to repeat mine. You have no idea what I went through trying to love that man. And he wasn't grateful for it. Don't do this." She repeated her warning before looking at Zayne again.

"I love you." Zayne said to her mother.

Her mother smiled and held her hand softly. She didn't respond instead she stood and the officer came to put her handcuffs back on.