Let Me Save Your Heart.

Let Me Save Your Heart - Part 7.

But, then again, I hadn't really been in the mood to talk to anyone for the past two weeks now.

I hadn't even been eating properly. In the last three days, I think all I've eaten is an apple, a packet of crisps and a sandwich; even I know that's not enough for a pregnant person to be eating. But with everything going on, I just forget to eat because there's always something else on my mind.

"Nik, can I come in?" I heard Siva's accent ask. He sounded worried and kind, like he wanted to make sure I was alright and I wasn't doing anything stupid to myself.

"Sure. It's open." I replied, sitting up from my pillow.

"You alright then?"

"Well, my bestfriend hates me more than anything. My brother hasn't had the guts to talk to me since everything happened. And I just hate everything right now. But, apart from that, I'm just fabulous." I said more sarcastically that intended. I didn't need to treat Siva like this, he was only trying to make sure I was alright and doing his best to help me.

"Sorry, bit of a stupid question really. You know, we're all really worried about you, especially Nathan?"

"Well, he doesn't need to be worried about me, and neither do you. I'm totally fine." I lied.

"We know you're not. Nathan says you spend all your time crying and you're not eating properly either; he says the last time that he saw you leave this room was three days ago. Is that true?" Siva asked, giving me a serious look in an attempt to get me to tell him everything.

"That might be true, but-"

"No Nikki, you need to start eating before you do some serious damage to yourself. I know you're hurting more than anything right now, but you don't want to put your baby in danger, do you?" he half smiled at me, trying to make me understand what he was saying.

I knew that he was right though.

Not eating was only putting my baby in danger and that wasn't fair. None of this was the baby's fault and I was punishing it for something it doesn't even know about yet.

This is a good example of why I shouldn't be allowed to keep the baby and why it was going to be better off with someone other than me in its life.

"No. That's not what I want at all..." I sighed as Siva took a seat on the edge of the bed, gesturing for me to move over next to him. I just did as he was saying and he pulled my into a hug; the ones which made you forget about everything and you imagined your life was perfect.

Just for a second, there was nothing wrong and you were happy with your life.

I liked those moments. Then reality took over me again.

"I'm not going to pretend to know what you're going through right now, because I really have no idea; but don't do this to yourself. By doing this, you're letting them all win and you don't want that. We all want the old Nikki back, especially Nathan. He cares about you a lot more than you even realise sometimes..."

"Yeah, that's because he loves me." I chuckled slightly.

"Yes, I love you, but that's not the reason that I care about you. I don't want to see you doing this to yourself, I told you the day you came here that I was always going to be here for you and I meant that. I miss the old you. The one that was always up for a laugh, taking the mick out of me and just making me smile by having a conversation. Now you spend all your time in here crying, and it's like I don't know who you even are anymore!" Nathan said, giving me the fright of my life because I thought he was downstairs and Siva was dealing with this one on his own. But what Nathan said really hurt, because I had decided to go through this on my own rather than telling him and asking for his help.