Fifty shades shattered

A beating heart..

Ana's POV:

I woke up from the severe pounding in my head. Where the hell am I? I was laying on a bed in a really white room. The memories came crashing down just then, breaking me once again. Teddy, he is suffering.

I jumped out of bed and sprinted towards the door heading to ICU. It was all just a nightmare, Teddy is alright. He is awake and he is waiting for me, I assured myself.But then the nurse came towards me telling me to go see the doctor for I am not allowed to see Teddy.

I headed to the doctors office only to see him looking at me with pity. "Welcome back Miss Steel, you passed out from shock. Thank God you are alright now." I just thanked him and asked him about Teddy. His face fell as he answered "The meeting with the committee is in 10 minutes actually. But his heart won't hold on for long it seems. Let's just hope for the best. Come let's go check on him. You have the right to see him." He said as he stood up leading the way to ICU.

I robotically walked into the room and held my baby's pale hand while trying to keep my composure. I had to stay strong for him. I remembered how I heard the things around me while I was in a coma back in the day, so I started talking to him. "Come baby, hold on. Everything is going to be okay. I am right here waiting for you." I kept repeating. The only evidence of his presence in the room was the soft beeping sound of the heart machine. I don't know for how long I sat there talking to him.

I was brought out of my daze at the sound of one very loud beep coming from the machine. I died a thousand deaths as I saw the curve die down into one straight line. His heart stopped. Doctors came in running towards the room as I stood there frozen. I couldn't hear anything except the beep of the machine. His heart stopped, he is dead. The doctors start using some machine to revive him. Seconds passed like hours until I heard the beeping start again. He is back is what I heard being shouted around me. But I was still frozen to my place.

Theodore almost died a couple of seconds ago. No cross that he actually died a couple of seconds ago. His heart stopped. Oh my dear Lord., save my baby. I felt so empty and numb standing there. I was escorted outside the room by a nurse. Who kept repeating that he is stable now. He is back. But the only think I knew was that his heart just stopped and there was nothing I could do. I have never felt as useless as I felt a couple of minutes ago. A thousand what if's kept running through my head. The sound of the long beep kept ringing in my ear. His heart just stopped...

I don't know for how long I stood there but I was broken out of my daze when a hand was placed on my shoulder. It was Ray. Just seeing him there I felt all the strength seep out of my body. I three my body in his arms as I started wailing out hard. Theodore is on the brink of death and there is nothing I can do. I just kept crying and crying until my sobs turned to hiccups. Only then did I notice a very teary eyed Phoebe staring at me.

I got out of Ray's arms and hugged her as hard as I could. I wanted my kids around me now. I wanted to hold each and every single one of them and protect them from the dangers of the world. I told Ray what had happened as I broke down for the second time. Phoebe insisted on seeing her brother, she needed to make sure he was fine. So the nurses lead her to his room but told her that she only had 5 minutes with him. It was at that moment that I decided I needed katy to be close to me as well. So Ray left us to go get her and bring her back. She has the right to be here for her brother.

When Ray came back holding her tiny hand in his. I felt the load of the world on my shoulders. What should I tell her now? Would she even understand? Teddy was the closest thing to a father she ever had? Can she handle seeing him like that? But she has the right to say goodbye, just like the doctor said we have to be ready for anything.

I couldn't say anything to her so I just hugged her tightly as I walked with her in my arms towards his room. She looked into the room and turned to me with confusion written all over her innocent face. When I told her that what she was looking at is Teddy her eyes filled with tears. She jumped out of my hands and ran towards him trying to wake hime up. After a couple failed attempts she turned to me with the most heart breaking look I have ever seen "Mommy, why isn't Teddy answering me? Is he mad at me?" I just shook my head as I couldn't find my voice. I walked towards her and engulfed her in a hug as I turned and walked outside the room. Trying to calm down my self I finally answered her" baby, Teddy is just tired so he is sleeping. When he wakes up you can talk to him all you want" I tried to sound as confident as I could, but my voice betrayed me.
She just nodded her head and jumped to Ray's open arms as I sat back down contemplating everything.

An hour later the doctor came to me to tell me the news that I have been waiting for
"The meeting went well. They approved of the transplant and he was listed an R1 that is a high priority patient. This is really good as we are one step closer to helping him." I just stared at him trying to smile but failing "so now what do we do?" "We wait to find a match!" Was all he answered. "How long will it take?!" He just shook his head as he said"well it depends, let's just hope we find it soon. Because his heart isn't holding on right now. We need to do something and fast. All we can do now is pray and wait for the best." These words chilled me to the bone "just wait... But what if we don't find a match.. He just dies.. His heart stopped before.. He can't die please doctor please help him. I can't lose him.. I can't" I cried out but the doctor only smiled as he said "I am doing all that I can but right now we have to wait. He is a fighter let's just hope he holds on till we find a match. Don't lose hope just yet. Have faith in God.." With that he gave me a pat on the shoulder and walked away.

We sat in that room for hours waiting for some news. Waiting for someone to say that everything is going to be alright. But that didn't happen. We went to his room and sat by his side praying and begging him to stay strong. "Keep fighting baby, just hold on..." I kept on saying... The wait was killing me. Everyone was sitting there in silence the only sound in the room was that of the beeping machine but oddly enough I was happy to hear it. It was a reassuring sound that he still breathing and his heart is still beating with all it's might.

Hours passed but things stayed still.. Nothing changed that's until I heard the paralyzing, heart wrenching sound for the second time today. His heart stopped again. We all stepped aside as doctors came running in, shouting orders. We were pushed outside the room while they tried to revive him. We all just stood at the door too shocked to move an extra inch. I was waiting for the doctor to come out and assure me that he was stable again. But that never came... Instead the doors to the room opened as the nurses pushed the bed with Theodore laying still in it while another doctor was doing CPR to his heart... The nurse was shouting we are loosing him while doctors where running and jumping trying everything to make his heart beat again. But it seemed that nothing was working.

I started running along the doctors begging and praying for him to come back. But once again disappointment filled my heart as nothing changed.We stood helpless as the doctors rushed him into another room shutting the doors behind them.. Leaving us wondering whether he was dead or alive....