Story of my Life

Confessions

Alex looks quite surprised... I can't believe I just told him! But he likes me as well so it's fine.

"Uh...I don't know what to say... huh..." Alex mumurs.

I wait in silence, looking at my fingers.

"Lauren... I'm sorry but... you're just a friend to me... I'm dating Megan at the moment and I can't do anything to hurt her... I hope you understand."

What?!? That's not what I was expecting! I thought he liked me as well!

"But... but.." I trail off.

"Well Lauren, to be honest I had a feeling that if I've begun to feel something then you would have too... if not feel a little bit more strongly." he says quietly.

Wait! Has he just admitted that he likes me...?

"I'm just sorry that the only thing I can offer you is my friendship. I'm dating Megan. Maybe when we break up you have a chance with me but until then... maybe we can meet up, just you and me, to get to know each other better?"

What? He seriously thinks that after what I've just told him I'd want to meet up with him alone? Well I would but I can't and he knows that! Megan would find out and would hate me! And I'm not going to wait around until Megan dumps him so that he has someone that he can go running to so he woun't be alone! I'm not going to be his rebound girl!

"Look Alex. I get that you don't like me that way but please don't try to make me feel better by suggesting we meet up alone... what would Megan say? I need to go now but please don't tell anyone! I need some time alone now but can we talk about it later? I'll phone you?" I ask tentatively.

"Okay Lauren," he answers, "I'll talk to you later and I promise I won't tell anyone."

And with that, I get up and walk away with tears streaming down my face.

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My parent's aren't home when I arrive. Thank goodness. I don't think I could face them right now. I go up to my room and pull out my iPod. I put in my headphones and press shuffle. The first song that comes on is Teardrops on my Guitar by Taylor Swift and I listen carefully to the lyrics. They seem to totally sum up my situation. I close my eyes and try to sleep to avoid the pain.

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I wake up and look at the clock. 8:15pm. I guess it's not too late to call Alex. 

I get out my phone and search through my contacts until I find Alex's number. I phone him and hear it ringing. Please don't pick up!

"Hello?" I hear.

Great... he picked up.

"Hi Alex... it's me... Lauren..." I say cautiously, "I'm sorry for leaving you like that earlier. I was just too upset to talk anymore."

I hear him suck in his breath.

"Oh... are you okay now?" he asks.

"I... I think so..." I reply.

"Um... so if you don't mind me asking...why me? Why do you like me? What is it about me? There's hundreds of single boys out there that you could have chosen instead of me?"

Your dreamy smile, your amazing personality, the way you usually know how to cheer me up...I could continue.

Instead I answer, "Uh... I don't know."

"You don't know why you like me?" he asks, surprised.

It's not that simple! I want to scream. I didn't choose to fall in love with him... I couldn't help it. I wish I didn't fall for him but I did. So now I'm gonna have to suffer for it.

He waits for an answer but I just stay silent.

"So Lauren, can I ask you something? How long have you been wanting to tell me this?"

"About a week," I admit, "All those times I started a conversation with you on facebook I was trying to tell you."

Alex is silent. Uh-oh, that's not usually a good sign.

"I thought you were just being friendly. You're the only person who actually does that for me. Thank you. Talking to you always made me feel bette. But you were only talking to me because you wanted to go out with me... not because you like me as a person..." he trails off.

Oh no! What have I done? He seems really upset!

"No! I like you as a person and I really enjoy our conversations ! That's why I couldn't tell you! I didn't want our conversations to end!" I blurt out desperately.

I can almost hear him processing it.

"Oh... so you didn't want our conversations to end..? Well I can promise that we will still have them... as long as you still want them?"

"Yes! I do still want them! They were really enjoyable! But Alex, I'm really sorry. It's getting late and I'm exhausted... I need to go to bed. Goodnight Alex."

"Okay Lauren. Goodnight."

I go to hang up.

"Wait Lauren!"

I pause.

"Thank you for being so honest with me!"

Smiling, I hang up and go to bed.

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So what do you think of it? How do you feel about Alex now? Are you happy that he feels like this or not? Let me know in the comments below!

Also I've reached over 1000 reads on this story! :D Thank you so much!

But I'm not sure whether I should continue this story or not... I'm not getting many votes or comments. I don't see the point in continuing if people aren't actually enjoying it.

So if you want me to continue, you need to comment and/or vote. Otherwise I'll stop writing.

Okay bye and if this is the last time I post I just want to say thank you for reading it :)