Confetti It's A PARADE! Of Supernatural Imagines.

Scared

Dean x Reader

Synopsis: too scared to share your feelings, you  make a hasty decision.

You were jealous. Jealous of all the girls that spent time in those strong arms. Jealous of the girls who were able to press their lips against his, and stare deep into those green orbs of his. You were jealous of his hand on their backs as he escorted them out of a different bar each night, with a knowing smile on their faces.

It had been this way for a while now. After being rescued by Sam and Dean Winchester from a Rugaru, they let you travel and hunt with them. Sam had become a brother to you, the best friend you had always hoped to have. Dean was a different story. As soon as your eyes had met his, and he laid his hand on your cheek, asking if you were okay, you were gone. It had only gotten worse as time went on, a touch, or a look, was enough to send you blushing, or to render you speechless. Knowing he thought of you as a younger sister only broke your heart in two.

At first it hadn't been too bad. You pretended you didn't see it, the lipstick stains on his collar, his shirts smelling of their perfume, the early morning returns to the motel. You pretended everything was fine, and even joked about it with him. Little did he know that you were dying on the inside, every girl he went home with was a stab to your heart.

Suffering through six months of heart break, you weren't sure you could take anymore. After a particularly vigorous hunt, the three of you decided to relax at another local bar. At first it had been great, the three of you drinking, eating and laughing together. These were your favorite times, where you were so at ease with each other. But then, another girl caught his eye, and he left, winking at you, telling you not to wait up. Feeling tears gathering in your eyes, you quickly excused yourself from Sam, making the short trek back to your motel room. It was actually a room to yourself this time. After much pleading with Dean, he had given in, using some of his hard earned hustling money to get you your own room. It was nice, for once not having to bunk down with the boys, listening as they snored, or farted in their sleep. Reaching your room, you shut the door behind you, before collapsing on the floor, wrapping your arms around your legs as you rocked back and forth.

Tears started flowing, and you let your pain take control. Feeling  as if your heart had physically been ripped apart. That was when you decided you couldn't take it anymore. You couldn't stand the pain of watching the man you loved go home with another girl each night. You knew it was the easy way out, instead of talking to him, explaining your feelings. But deep down you knew, that once you told him, all you would see is pity in his eyes. And you didn't want to see that.

Packing took less than ten minutes. As a hunter, you packed light, with most of your possessions being weapons. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, you used the hotel stationary to write a note to Sam. You felt horrible for leaving Sam behind, he had been your rock this past year.

Fiddling with the pen, you concentrated on the words you needed to write. Finally,  they came to you.

Dear Sam and Dean,
By the time you read this I should be long gone.
Don't worry, it's nothing you did, it's all me.
I fell for the wrong person, a person who never even noticed.
It became too painful, watching you go home with different
Girls each night, and I couldn't take it anymore.
Please don't come looking for me, it's time for us to go our separate ways. Sam, thank you for always being there for me, I will miss you so much. Dean, it's not your fault. I know you never felt the same for me. I don't blame you, please don't blame yourself.
Love, Y/N.

Tears decorated the paper, smearing some of the letters. Leaving it  laying on the bed, you gathered your belongings. With a deep sigh, you glanced out the door, not surprised that you didn't see the Impala. 

Turning towards town, you remembered the bus stop you had passed earlier on your way into town, when you started the hunt. The hunt which seemed like forever ago. Wiping away the tears pooling at the edge of yours eyes, you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself.

The ticket window was still open, even this late at night. A bored teenage boy stood behind the counter, his face riddled with acne. Not even glancing up at you, he took your money, as you purchased the first ticket available. You weren't worried about the destination. You just had to leave, and fast.  Finding your seat, you leaned against the window, watching as the bus slowly left town, tears threatening to fall again, as you saw the Impala pulling into the motel parking lot.

You had made your choice, for better or for worse, and now you were left with the chore of living a new life. A life without Dean. For some reason, that didn't sound like life at all.